Cover Letter / Resume Hilarity

[FireStorm]

Pretty funny. Not shocking and I actually expected to see worse, but this is good end-of-my-workday-laugh material.

[tuq]

LFS,

Welcome to the world of hiring.

I once worked with a really dumb chick who wrecked the English language. One of her greatest hits was saying "fruitation" (not a word) instead of "fruition".

So one night working late I was bored and logged onto Monster.com and did an all database search for "fruitation". Here is what I found:

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Project included indentification and installation and/or modification of software currently utilized on both Developers and Production Systems (SAS Base & Intrnet, HTML, Java Scripts, FTP, SiteMinder & NT Security and SafeSource) on both Windows NT and UNIX platforms, assignment of step-by-step activities among departments, system staging and push to bring UAT project to fruitation on time.

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A position where my many years of experience can come to fruitation.

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My objective is to find a good company that will be as loyal to me as I will be to them. I enjoy not only seeing something that I helped create come to fruitation but also to completion.

[/ QUOTE ] (pretty sweet redundancy there.)

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To be able to share in the fruitation of a company's accomplishments.

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I process all accounting duties such as manageing the bank accounts, and filing quarterly sales tax and income tax forms. We work together to bring full musical compilations to fruitation.

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A job where I am aloud (LOL!) to utilize my professional music expertise and related skills to bring the desired results to their full fruitation and to be able to recommend solutions that I have found to be have validity.

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Filenes Inc.,Flex Rep/Manager Trainee-helped collect the “trouble spots” to fruitation and attempted to motivate other representatives to succeed.

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There is this deep inate need to make a contribution to a greater good. To follow a plan and then see it throught to fruitation.

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I like to get with a creative team and start with an idea and see it through to fruitation.

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I believe in completing jobs and will do that bit of extra to bring it to fruitation.

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[tuq]

She also had a problem with "cudos", this turned up only three hits at the time:

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Received numerous cudos from customers for excellent service and customer communication.

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Cudos for outstanding customer service skills.

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Recieved company wide cudos in Verizon Wireless Company Magazine.

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I love how some people can't be bothered to spell check before blasting their qualifications all over the internet.

[Los Feliz Slim]

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Education

1944-1978 -High School Diploma High School , Poland

1978-1980 -Teachers Diploma Teachers College, Poland

1991-1994 -Hairdressing Diploma Midland Avenue College, Ontario, Canada

1992-1993 -Colorist Diploma Coloring School “Color Club For Hair”, Toronto, Ont. Canada

2001-2002 -Goldwell Educator Certificate Goldwell College, Toronto, Ont. Canada


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[/ QUOTE ]

Other than the fact that this likely a 50 year old polish woman who made a typo, she'd probably be a good interview, especially when you consider the typical wasteoids that live in that hellhole you call LA. I assume this is a 10 dollar/hour gig - what the hell do you expect, a three-page CV? I think she'll be 10-key by touch able, which is probably useful for you, provided her English is good.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're right about it being a typo, but it's still funny. The position is a training position, and this is really the only way to become a talent agent, so I get resumes from people with law degrees, etc.

[EvanJC]

Give me a job, please. I finished high school in only four years.

[James Boston]

Not on a resume, but still my favorite...I've interviewed a few people who started the interview by asking, "So, what's the job?" WTF?!? You don't know what the job is, but you applied for it?

[Yeti]

haha yeah what is this job, please employ me. will i get to meet scarlett johannson and dice clay?

[SNOWBALL]

What position are these people applying for?

[DonkeyKongSr]

LFS's new colorist.

[CharlieDontSurf]

Los Feliz...you'd still get some wack jobs but the UTA List would probably cut down on them.