Hows my Application Essay pt2

[btmagnetw]

sorry but i got to the pb&j and couldn't go on. i'm sure the advice already posted is good.

[Keyser.]

[ QUOTE ]
sorry but i got to the pb&j and couldn't go on. i'm sure the advice already posted is good.

[/ QUOTE ]

fortunately it gets much better

was anyone else thinking of this while reading the essay?

[mahgeetah]

Definitely work on the intro. That's the hardest part of essays for me. I don't think it's necessary to name each specific league you were in... I got kind of lost in all the random letters. Just say something like you participated in a few leagues or either name the actual league name instead of it's initials.

BTW, my application essay was similar to this... it was about how I was a benchwarmer in basketball and hated it at first but it turned out to make me a better person yada yada yada