Restaurant refuses to sing happy bday to 6 yr old

[DrewDevil]

swingdoc's response was so money. bravo sir.

[Blarg]

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Blarg,

"The father deserves blame for escalating the matter past both the waiter and the hostess."

It is perfectly acceptable to ask for a manager or someone else in a position of responsibility if staff at a restaurant can't meet your expectations.


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Depends too much on the situation to make a blanket statement like that.

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"The waiter explained his boss told him they didn't do that there. She said they used to but they were trying to establish themselves as more of an "adult, upscale" restaurant."

In this situation, asking for the manager is perfectly appropriate. In fact, I applaud the father here. He doesn't yell at the waiter or get an argument with a guy who is just doing his job. He asks for the person who has the authority to actually do something here.


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The waiter has the authority. The hostess either has authority over the waiter or is a second voice, which should equally be stating clearly the restaurant's policies. If the guest refuses to take no for an answer once, hmm. If he refuses twice, he's just being argumentative. I don't feel a lot of reason to applaud that.

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"The father deserves blame for escalating the matter past both the waiter and the hostess. Two NO's should be enough."

I really don't understand your position at all. If you are promised something and don't get it delivered, you just live with it once two people tell you NO? WTF!?!


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Why not? What arbitrary number is good enough. NO MEANS NO. How is that hard?

In the cases where there is a split of opinion, as I noted in another post above, it is the responsibility of the server or whoever is in charge of the server to nail that down in private with the boss. That person should then pass that on to the customer. Perhaps a little comp to smooth any ruffled feathers would be in order. In no case should the owner get dragged into simple matters like these because not just one but multiple employees aren't displaying elementary competence regarding knowing policies and handling guests.

Why is the owner even paying them if they cannot handle little things like this themselves? What would they do if the owner was not there at the time and/or unreachable by phone? This is just elementary work stuff that they are being paid to do -- it's the whole point they are there. If the owner needs to get involved in minor misunderstandings like this, he's a bad manager who either hires lousy employees or is lousy at training his employees, or both.

Minor things being escalated to management should not be standard procedure.

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"so the manager/owner should not have to hear any more about it."

WTF, man, this is exactly the type of stuff managers/owners should hear about. Dealing with this kind of stuff and keeping customers happy is a big part of their job!


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No, training people to do their jobs right is the part of their job that matters here. Again, what happens if the manager/owner is not around? Disaster always looms imminent? People can't be trusted not to screw up minor matters?

With the right training, someone like a hostess should be PERFECTLY capable of handling an irate or disappointed guest. If she makes a comp, she may later have to explain it to the manager/owner. Part of the job. If she learns to do her job better, these things won't be coming up in the first place.

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As for the father's expectation, it sounds like doing this sort of happy birthday nonsense was something this place did regularly until recently


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No, we do not know this for sure from the OP.

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so his expectation is reasonable.


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No, past behavior is not necessarily indicative of future results. People are not entitled to keep their expectations indefinitely or for periods of time of their choosing. There is no explicit or implicit understanding between a restaurant and random customers as to whether things will stay the same and for how long.

It's certainly reasonable to ask, though. It is not reasonable to expect. Unless, you've already asked and been given an answer in line with those expectations.

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And on top of that, he verifies it before sitting down. Can't see any reasonable way to place blame on the father here.

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Driving out to the restaurant without knowing for sure if they'd be willing to do it was pretty thoughtless. Would you go to a casino, dragging a whole bunch of people with you so it's not just your own time you're wasting, to play poker if you didn't know for sure that it had a poker room, and knew for sure that most casinos don't? I wouldn't. Dad sounds pretty mixed up here.

I also find reason to blame him for pushing and pushing to get his way when he's either been told no twice or should have been told no twice. Sounds like the guy can't take no for an answer. Sometimes, no IS the answer.

I'm not saying the hostess is not to blame, too. But if she's competent, the least she can do is handle her own mess, and it's well within her job description, and, I hope, her natural desire to fix what she broke. I really don't know why she would want the job if she's not willing to handle ordinary things like this.

If only the owner can handle things like this, god forbid he ever get sick, have an appointment somewhere, take a day off, be in a meeting with someone, or even have to take a dump.

[Blarg]

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Blarg,

"The father deserves blame for escalating the matter past both the waiter and the hostess. Two NO's should be enough."

I really don't understand your position at all. If you are promised something and don't get it delivered, you just live with it once two people tell you NO? WTF!?!

"so the manager/owner should not have to hear any more about it."

WTF, man, this is exactly the type of stuff managers/owners should hear about. Dealing with this kind of stuff and keeping customers happy is a big part of their job!

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Exactly.

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Exactly wrong. Manager/owner is not a line position for casual things like this. The whole point of hiring other people is to have them do this kind of stuff FOR you. Otherwise, why the heck are you paying them in the first place?

Ever been in charge of a business yourself and wanted a day off? Good luck if you're so lousy at training your employees that they're so lousy at handling their jobs that something as minor as this is completely beyond them.

[mason55]

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Driving out to the restaurant without knowing for sure if they'd be willing to do it was pretty thoughtless.

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Seriously Blarg what is wrong with you today?

The restaurant used to sing Happy Birthday. It used to be a crazy family place. This was known ahead of time. The main clientèle is still families. They were prepared to go somewhere else if the restaurant said no. The hostess said yes. I don't know what more you expect the guy to do.


Answer me this:

What is the difference between calling and having the girl say yes and getting there and having the girl say yes, in terms of the fathers culpability?

[Blarg]

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normal kids get upset if they are promised a toy car and dont get it, weirdos/spoiled kids get upset that the whole restaurant isnt fawning over them.

[/ QUOTE ] I don't get why you think it's such a horrible thing for a kid to enjoy that people bring him dessert with candles on it and sing to him on his birthday. I think it's pretty normal. I agree that it would not be normal to get upset that it didn't happen in a normal situation, but in this situation he had been promised and assured that it would happen several times, so of course he is disappointed when it doesn't. And ruins the meal and the day on top of that.

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It might be a bit of a pisser, but ruining the meal and the whole day? That's bordering on hysteria. I'd hope for the kid's sake that his parents aren't that brittle and emo. God help them when something actually difficult comes their way, if this is some huge deal for them. And bad on them if they let their own disappointment even show much to the kid, much less wash over onto him and almost certainly greatly amplify the kid's being a bit bummed.

[Blarg]

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LOL at the suggestion that the dad somehow should have known not to take the hostess' word for it.

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If you are talking about me, then your reading comprehension is pretty bad.

Owner's policy > Hostess' word.

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So what? Yeah, I suppose it makes sense to go beyond the hostess if you're looking for authorization to gold-plate the silverware, but in this case, the the father could reasonably expect that the hostess is as far up the chain as he needs to go. Otherwise, next time you call to make reservations, you'd better ask for the owner because who knows? The person on the phone just possibly, maybe, perhaps, doesn't have the level of executive power to authorize a table for you.

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heheheh

[Hoya]

Blarg,

I've noticed you acting stupid a lot lately. Are you OK? Perhaps all the reading is getting you stressed.

[MicroBob]

I fail to see where the Dad was told no twice before asking for the manager.

The hostess said yes.
Later the waiter said no.
So he only had gotten one 'no' before he asked to speak to the manager/owner to explain that they weren't doing what he was told they would do.

[Vehn]

blarg, could you expand a bit? I'm not quite sure you're being clear here about your opinion and thoughts with your brief statements. Be a little more verbose please.

[MicroBob]

I'm really confused on Blarg's logic through the whole thing.

It's the father's fault for believing the lower-rung employee in the first place.
But when something doesn't go smoothly he's supposed to have 100% faith in the same lower-rung employees?

Which is it?