the most inappropriate thing you've ever said/heard

[Conspir8or]

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I did not hear this, I have only heard about it. When FDR died my grandfather said "Today is the greatest day in American history." My mother was in grade school and went to school and repeated that.

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My grandfather, of pre-Depression vintage, refused to take dimes with FDR on them. When I was told this story early in my life, no explanation was given. When I grew up, I was eventually told he considered FDR, and I quote "a [censored] Jew-lover." What made this curious is that his mother was Jewish.

In other news, my mother once worked the counter at the neighborhood pharmacy. One regular patron was a Holocaust survivor. He used to walk past whatever line there might be at the counter and try to get his prescriptions and cigarettes ahead of everyone else.

My mother eventually called him on this when he blew past a line of folks during the holidays (they also sold gifts, cards, wrapping paper, so holidays were always very busy) to demand his meds. When she protested, he pointed to a tattooed series of digits on his arm. "I was in Auschwitz! I don't wait on lines!" he said.

My mother replied. "Those are nice. You do those with Magic Marker?"

[bulldawgblue]

Roomate's girlfriend cheats on him with some douche.

Couple months later I'm talking to some random guy at a bar. In walks ex-girl right up to dude I'm talking to...

Ex: :::awkward::: Hey BDB!
Douche: You two know each other?
Me: Yea, my best friend used to cum in her mouth.

[Borodog]

[ QUOTE ]
Roomate's girlfriend cheats on him with some douche.

Couple months later I'm talking to some random guy at a bar. In walks ex-girl right up to dude I'm talking to...

Ex: :::awkward::: Hey BDB!
Douche: You two know each other?
Me: Yea, my best friend used to cum in her mouth.

[/ QUOTE ]

Seems appropriate to me.

[ScottieK]

All our schools in Albuquerque understandably have a lot of Hispanics, but this still happens sometimes at football games and whatever. Kids from a more whitebread school will throw tortillas at players from more Hispanic schools...but when they start getting their asses kicked in the game, they do the cheer about "you're gonna work for us someday."

My best friend is Jewish...one of his co-workers called him "chimney smoke." Lucky for him, this kind of stuff rolls off my friend's back easily.

When my grandmother's husband died, my mom called her a few days after to check on her. Understandably, my grandmother was lonely and depressed. My mom asked her "what do you have to be so down about?"

When I was a kid, I saw a pregnant lady in a grocery store. I asked her "are you pregnant or just fat?"

At Texas Christian University, which isn't affiliated with a church but is still pretty religious, my astronomy professor was going to lecture on the creation of the universe. He got up and said "okay, today we're going to cover the Big Bang. Um, for those of you who believe God created the earth in seven days and all that nonsense, you're just wrong." I had to bite my tongue so hard from laughing my ass off, but the room was dead silent. I think he meant it as a joke, but it came off terribly insulting.

ScottieK

[mic_check12]

[ QUOTE ]
Standing outside of a Wal-mart while I finished my cigarette an older man with the wrap around glaucoma glasses looks at me and says loudly....

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that smoking will kill you?"

I finished my puff and replied...

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that masterbating would make you go blind?"

Big Steve [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

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[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[The DaveR]

This thread is all about Sublime. I'll let others elaborate.

[LVcardjunkie]

I was eating really messy BBQ at Kansas City BBQ in San Diego. There was a guy next to us who was missing both arms and had prosthetic hooks to replace them. We talked to him and he was really cool and in no way did I mean to offend him but without thinking I said "damn, this food is messy, you really need both hands to eat it!" I felt like [censored]. (Strangely enough, a few minutes before this I was stung by a bee and he removed the stinger with his hooks. God that was weird. I was pretty apprehensive by the way.)

[LVcardjunkie]

When i was too young to understand sex, I was cat-fishing with my family in North Carolina. I couldn't figure out how to get the bait to stay on the hook properly so I asked my Uncle, "will you do this for me, you're the master-baiter?" My family was laughing hysterically and it took me a couple years to understand why.

[cameronw01]

This happened today and made me think of this thread.

I went to this corner office in a court today to order a case transcript for work. There was a little buzzer thing to call someone when nobody is at the bench. A guy was maybe 10 metres away, but he was looking at his computer and didn't noticed me, so I pressed the buzzer. It let out this high pitched whine, sort of like a dog whistle but audible, and went for like 15 seconds. I thought it might be both broken and stuck. I blurt out something like "Jesus, that'd get annoying hearing that all day." He replies as best he can "I'm deaf." He can read lips too.

[ohead]

[ QUOTE ]
After hearing that someone lost a grandfather in the holocaust, my genuis friend replied,

"I did too. He fell off a guard tower."

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a classic, if someone tries to on you just answer seriously

- Well my grandmother really did die in concentration camp... yeah she got hit by a guard falling out of a guard tower.