What's the use of washcloths?

[Big Poppa Smurf]

Blarg,

maybe your body should look into other cooling mechanisms besides "sweating through the balls." You know, maybe somewhere with more surface area and exposure to the air?

[GuyOnTilt]

FFK,

I keep getting the impression you're talking about those body puff things and not a real sponge when you say "loofah". I hope I'm wrong since those things are stupid and get kinda gross, while real loofahs are pretty much the best thing ever. Tell me I'm wrong?

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Blarg,

maybe your body should look into other cooling mechanisms besides "sweating through the balls." You know, maybe somewhere with more surface area and exposure to the air?

[/ QUOTE ]

If you would write my balls a letter, I would be happy to read it aloud to them.

[suzzer99]

This thread rocks. I actually don't like it when I have to use one of those big fluffy luxurious washcloths for all the negatives mentioned in using no washcloth at all. I feel like it's just smushing the soap around on my body. I use a kitchen washcloth in the shower. I find it to have just the right amount of abrasiveness to scrape off the facial sludge and other unmentionable build-up. Also it's thin enough to get in a good ear-scrubbing.

Sad thing is everyone in freaking Europe seems to be in the no washcloth camp. If you forget to bring one when traveling you aint gonna find one. Try to find a washcloth in a major European city. Loooooooool. They should have it as a challenge on Amazing Race. Soooo fun too - to wash with no water pressure, tiny hotel soap, hard water, in a phone booth sized shower where the shower head is at the level of your nipples, and no washcloth.

FFK, picking up some of that Old Spice stuff on my way home. Let's pray you're not the only girl who gets turned on by it.

[Brainwalter]

Dear Blarg's balls:

Hey, how's it going? I heard y'all are sweating a lot. You may not know this but you're inside pants most of the time. So knock it off! OK? OK?

Yours Truly,
Brainwalter

[suzzer99]

[ QUOTE ]
FFK,

I keep getting the impression you're talking about those body puff things and not a real sponge when you say "loofah". I hope I'm wrong since those things are stupid and get kinda gross, while real loofahs are pretty much the best thing ever. Tell me I'm wrong?

[/ QUOTE ]

I kinda hope the other way around given I'm supposed to scrape my balls with whatever it is she's taking about.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Blarg's balls:

Hey, how's it going? I heard y'all are sweating a lot. You may not know this but you're inside pants most of the time. So knock it off! OK? OK?

Yours Truly,
Brainwalter

[/ QUOTE ]

My balls tried to type out a response, but it was slow going, and the impacts that actually worked left them feeling too dizzy. So I'll pass along their response for them:

Dear Brainwalter,

It's going great. How are you hanging?

I'm sweating pretty much 24/7. It's kinda scrapey in here, though, so a little oil is cool.

I don't know what pants are, but this guy keeps me in the dark and never lets me out except at night or on the bus. Even then, he makes me wear his dick for a hat. He's a jerk, but he's too far away for me to slap anything but the sides of his legs. Don't worry, though, I'll get payback. One of these days after he comes back from a swim and sits himself down, I'm gonna jump out to the side and go BOO on some old lady or something. A*sshole.

Regards,

Blarg's Balls

[DWarrior]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Dear Blarg's balls:

Hey, how's it going? I heard y'all are sweating a lot. You may not know this but you're inside pants most of the time. So knock it off! OK? OK?

Yours Truly,
Brainwalter

[/ QUOTE ]

My balls tried to type out a response, but it was slow going, and the impacts that actually worked left them feeling too dizzy. So I'll pass along their response for them:

Dear Brainwalter,

It's going great. How are you hanging?

I'm sweating pretty much 24/7. It's kinda scrapey in here, though, so a little oil is cool.

I don't know what pants are, but this guy keeps me in the dark and never lets me out except at night or on the bus. Even then, he makes me wear his dick for a hat. He's a jerk, but he's too far away for me to slap anything but the sides of his legs. Don't worry, though, I'll get payback. One of these days after he comes back from a swim and sits himself down, I'm gonna jump out to the side and go BOO on some old lady or something. A*sshole.

Regards,

Blarg's Balls

[/ QUOTE ]

Which side is the spokesman for your balls?

[TxRedMan]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
How do you know that the stinky crotches that you've smelled weren't the result of no soaping at all, rather than soaping without a loofah? And the main advantage of a loofah is that it removes dead skin cells when you scrub with it, but guys can't really scrub their balls.

[/ QUOTE ]

It goes like this: you have a long term boyfriend. You start to spend the night with each other a lot, and you start to shower together. You notice he has no loofah/washcloth. So you offer to wash his back, and he's like "ohhh, this feels good." So you encourage him to use your loofah anytime he likes. After a while he sheepishly admits that he likes using your loofah because it makes him feel really clean. So, you offer to buy him his own. He goes out on a limb and buys some manly body wash. BAM the odor (which, don't get me wrong, was never that bad), is 95% better. I have seen this series of events with at least 5 boyfriends.

[/ QUOTE ]


This thread should have been called 'Ask FFK about improving male body odor'.

Fwiw, ball-stink is a combination of two factors: the sweat from your balls being locked up in a stuffy pair of pants all day, and ass sweat that makes its way south.

It doesn't matter if you loofa or wash cloth or use your hands, after (x) amount of hours your balls will stink. I don't understand people who think that scrubbing your body with a bar of soap isn't good enough, i.e., it leaves germs on the soap? Soap kills germs, otherwise why would we be using it?

Personally, when washing my balls, it's a three step process. It's the first thing I do in the shower, and I leave them basking in soapy suds for a minute while I wash my face. Then I rinse, and repeat. With a hard green soap, like irish spring, that really gets the grit off. Then I use some sort of fragranced body soap. I don't fancy using a loofa. Don't think I ever will. But if my GF asked me to, I probably would.


Oh, and btw, FFK, have you ever had a guy mention odor to you? i.e., you stink? That's a very difficult and awkward conversation to have with a girl, but if she wants head, she needs to smell like something nice and fresh. After a day of working out and sweating outside all day, my balls can stink, but it's nothing like what I've encountered when face to face with vaginal-stink.

If I'm 50% sure I'm going to have sex on a particular night, I make sure my junk isn't danky. I think this should be a pre-requisite for all newly found sexual relationships. Once you know someone, live with them, whatever, you can let things slide a little bit, but at first there's really no excuse for showing up with stink bait in your trousers.

[tuq]

Tx,

Like a bad song I can't get out of my mind, the detailed mental image of you washing your balls is going to stick with me way longer than I want it to, which is to say at all.