DR. DOM #3: Why you shouldn't get married until you're 30

[Blarg]

Yeah, can't help but think that if you're cheating and admit you would cheat again, it's the wrong time for marriage. Fella sounds not thrilled with something you really need to be thrilled about to go through with and keep up with for the rest of your life.

[Peter Harris]

Hey SackUp,
You missed my point. I didn't give her the mental disorder [the mental disorder is incidental]. I've only cheated once, at the nadir of the relationship. She doesn't know, doesn't need to know and likely will never know about these or future infidelities.

Caring about and monogamous committment to a person do not, in my mind, need to be concurrent. I can do a damn good job caring about/for her whilst getting the occasional sidewoman.

I agree moving to another region is a good way to precipitate breakup, but you miss my other point. In many ways she is excellent to be with, and I don't really want to seperate. I just want to have my cake and eat it too [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

The problem with the 'move to another place' is that i have no concrete plans post-graduation. Neither does she. In a perfect world, she'll move from Edinburgh to Houston with her parents [her dad has a job lined up there] whilst i bum around the family house for a few months.

However, if seperate cities isn't guaranteed, what other option is there?

Thanks for the opinion, I'm just wondering if there's a way i can keep the chick and work out my maturity issues at the same time [ha ha ha and in 10 years i'll be thinking that's another oxymoron]

Regards,
Pete

[RiverFenix]

I didnt read the whole first post or the rest of the thread, but I wanted to say that Dom usually has good advice but dont take seriously dating/marriage advice from someone who is middle age and single.

[Peter Harris]

Hey jaxUp,

Yeah, i guess it sucks, it's just that if I didn't want to sleep with a few more chicks, she'd be a pretty much perfect partner [let's set the mental illness aside there]. I am naively hoping there's a way I can keep her onside whilst we work through our own [censored].

Guess all i need is a big NO from Dr. Dom.

Thanks,
Pete

[Clarkmeister]

[ QUOTE ]
I didnt read the whole first post or the rest of the thread, but I wanted to say that Dom usually has good advice but dont take seriously dating/marriage advice from someone who is middle age and single.

[/ QUOTE ]

Do you prefer someone who is young and married?

[Sephus]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I didnt read the whole first post or the rest of the thread, but I wanted to say that Dom usually has good advice but dont take seriously dating/marriage advice from someone who is middle age and single.

[/ QUOTE ]

Do you prefer someone who is young and married?

[/ QUOTE ]

does it matter? clearly he thinks old and married is where to look.

[jaxUp]

[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, i guess it sucks, it's just that if I didn't want to sleep with a few more chicks, she'd be a pretty much perfect partner [let's set the mental illness aside there]. I am naively hoping there's a way I can keep her onside whilst we work through our own [censored].


[/ QUOTE ]

Peter,

I think that the biggest problem that young people in relationships face (to echo blarg) is the fear of not finding somebody else who's as good as their current partner. I know that she's unique and you guys probably get along well together. However, to think that you won't find that in another person is pretty wrong IMO.

The notion that people have a "one true love" kind of pisses me off. It gets romanticized in movies and it has convinced many people that this is true. The fact is, there's enough people that you cross paths with, that you can find somebody to have a similar (if not much better) relationship with in the future.

What it all comes down to, is what you want now. If right now you wanted to be only with this girl, then obviously you would. But if you want to get out and meet/bang other girls then I think that is more important, at least at this time in your life. And if you are going to do that, then it's not fair to stay together.

In short, our immediate needs and desires need not be quelled by long term fear of loss. If things were good enough right now, such needs and desires would not exist.

[Clarkmeister]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


ooooooooooh, you got me!

[/ QUOTE ]

i'm not the one who has to bring gay crap into every thread like you do. does it give you a smug feeling inside to throw it around?

[/ QUOTE ]

"Every thread"? Seeing as I can't think of a single other example, and you are posting under yet another handle, I think it's more than fair to ask that you cite these many threads. Otherwise, stfu or just go create another alias. I'm a little curious as to why you are so defensive here, btw.

[/ QUOTE ]

Another alias? I must have missed the others. Wanna throw the readers a bone, Clark?

[/ QUOTE ]

It's Jakesta, etc.

[soko]

Dom speaks using my brain.

I have always agreed with the ideas presented in the original post.

[Peter Harris]

so what I'm looking for is the least painless way to sever the relationship, right?

I suck at that. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]