jokes you've made IRL that flopped - Page 14

kyro · #**131** 10-26-2007, 12:46 PM

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Once in an English class we were talking about movie adaptations of books. We went through the standard "book is better" discussion, then to cases where they were equal, then to the other end of the spectrum: the teacher asked for great movies based on awful books. I immediately blurted out "The Passion of the Christ."

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This is amazing. A+.

kyro · #**132** 10-26-2007, 12:47 PM

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I was fairly young, around 18. I'm at a party with a bunch of mates and we're sitting around the living room. Everyones talking, there's music on. My mate next to me starts chatting up this cute girl. He's really working on her and it's making me want to vomit but she's lapping it up. Then the conversation goes something like this:

Her: I really like you. You know, you're really turning me on. (or something to this effect.)

Him: I can tell.

Her: How can you tell?

Him: What's that running down your leg?

Me: Blood?

Nobody was amused.

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This isn't even remotely funny. More of this.

traz · #**133** 10-26-2007, 12:51 PM

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Somehow the topic of ceiling mirrors came up and I said they would be awesome. My sister-friend said "yea of course you'd like it, then the guy could look up and see everything." To which I responded "ohhh so now I know you ride on top of Taylor when you have sex"...the ex girlfriend did not like that at all and there was a long long awkward silence. Oops!

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The correct joke here is that the mirror would have written on it ... "Objects may be larger than they appear"

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This was not the audience for such intellectual jokes

adsman · #**134** 10-26-2007, 12:52 PM

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I was fairly young, around 18. I'm at a party with a bunch of mates and we're sitting around the living room. Everyones talking, there's music on. My mate next to me starts chatting up this cute girl. He's really working on her and it's making me want to vomit but she's lapping it up. Then the conversation goes something like this:

Her: I really like you. You know, you're really turning me on. (or something to this effect.)

Him: I can tell.

Her: How can you tell?

Him: What's that running down your leg?

Me: Blood?

Nobody was amused.

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This isn't even remotely funny. More of this.

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I was rolling on the floor laughing after I said it. I can't believe I had friends back then.

THAY3R · #**135** 10-26-2007, 12:53 PM

3rd grade, it's the first time I'm ever in Florida and I'm visiting this private school to shadow a kid for a day.(Note : I eventually go to this school)

2 kids in the class are taking an unusually long time in the bathroom, a girl in the class asks something like "What's taking them so long?"

I reply "Maybe they're mating?"

<silence>

Brag : 15 years later and some people in that class still remember that joke and now think it was hilarious [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Kimbell175113 · #**136** 10-26-2007, 12:55 PM

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I was fairly young, around 18. I'm at a party with a bunch of mates and we're sitting around the living room. Everyones talking, there's music on. My mate next to me starts chatting up this cute girl. He's really working on her and it's making me want to vomit but she's lapping it up. Then the conversation goes something like this:

Her: I really like you. You know, you're really turning me on. (or something to this effect.)

Him: I can tell.

Her: How can you tell?

Him: What's that running down your leg?

Me: Blood?

Nobody was amused.

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This isn't even remotely funny. More of this.

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I was rolling on the floor laughing after I said it. I can't believe I had friends back then.

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Well, it's funny, but not because it's a good joke. I agree that more of this kind of story is needed in the thread.

meleader2 · #**137** 10-26-2007, 12:58 PM

i was in the mall with the g/f and heard a mom calling out loud for her little kid, so without thinking i say in a high pitched kidvoice "over here mom!"

the woman looks at me and i start laughing saying "just joking" and she fumes to me "NOT FUNNY!" finds the kid and beats it in public screaming "DON'T EVER WALK AWAY AGAIN"

the whole time i'm [censored] thinking y the [censored] r u shopping if u can't keep tabs on a goddam 6 y/o girl...the cashier asked what was wrong and the woman points to me and said "that [censored] thought it was funny. OH YA REAL FUNNY"

i don't regret it to this day. even the g/f gave me flack for it.

Triumph36 · #**138** 10-26-2007, 01:11 PM

this is one of the adsman variety:

I was at a Yankees game, sitting close to the Orioles' dugout. Jeremy Guthrie was pitching; he was 28 but had only been in the league 2 years because of Mormon service in his early 20s. He got knocked around and when he walked off the mound, I shouted 'go back on a mission!'

Nothing. And they were right.

Kimbell175113 · #**139** 10-26-2007, 01:13 PM

I would have laughed at every one of these IRL, though some for different reasons than others.

Autocratic · #**140** 10-26-2007, 01:18 PM

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For a lifelong class clown like myself, I am not sure I can even grasp how many of my jokes have bombed.

I do stand up, and some of it is intentionally very corny and I like to tell it at drunken parties. Usually the following joke gets a few laughs, but in a class of mine the other day where upon hearing I am a jokester it was requested I make a joke, it got nothing:

"When I was a kid I went out to Missouri, visiting my great grandparents. When I was there I saw a caterpillar museum, and it was awesome. I came back the next year but it had flown away.

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FYJ

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something along these lines is way better

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Wow, no.