Pregnant GF

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Glad you asked. Here goes: you have definitely decided what you want to do. In fact, you decided before you were even faced with the actual event. You came here with your post for support of that decision and possibly some advice about how to convince your GF that you are right.

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I'm not exactly defending OP here, but a lot of what you said is BS. OP never indicated he came to OOT for support or approval.
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IMHO at this point, this is 95% your GF's decision as she is the one who will have to live with the consequences of the decision, whatever it is. (But, as you said, that is subject for a different thread.) I think her family realizes this even if she does not.

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He has to live with the consequences just as much as the girl.
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You need to begin assuming some responsibilites whether your GF's pregnancy is terminated or not. I hope you're up to the task. Good luck.

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Agree.

[Tito]

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I am white, my GF is Filipino, and her child is half black.

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I'm not sure if this is a brag or a beat, but it's definitely variance. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

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I LOL'd. Yeah, definitely variance.

[VoraciousReader]

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<font color="red">If you don't know this when you start having sex, you're not mature enough, and you don't understand your partner well enough. Pregnancy is an incredibly emotional thing for women, AND THEY CANNOT BE LOGICAL ABOUT IT.</font>

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Most generally useful paragraph in the thread, I think.

Expecting a woman to feel the same way once they get pregnant as they did before they got pregnant is silly. Imagine that you said in one of those hypothetical games, "yes, it's best for everyone if I kill a baby to wipe out world hunger" (never imagining you would ACTUALLY have to make that decision)...and then someone hands you a baby and a machete. Things look a little different when you're in the situation.

That also doesn't factor in every hormone that women have evolved over millennia waking up and SCREAMING to have the baby. Nor does it take into account the sense of awe that comes from knowing a tiny living being is growing inside you.

[Tito]

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If you decide to have this baby and continue to support your GF in whatever she chooses, even if that means your life takes a drastic turn, then I commend you and hold a DEEP amount of respect for you. You are truly a man.
But if you don't, and you cut and run, you are worthless and you're a pussy and I hope your balls fall off. And I guarantee you the day will come when you wish you had made the right decision. You are blessed to have the ability to bring a new life into this world, and one that carries your name. Embrace it, care for it, and show it all the love you have in you. You won't regret it. Best to you and your GF.

EDIT: Response to OP, not kyleb

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What about leaving the gf but supporting the child.

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If you want to leave the gf and support the child then I don't see a problem. But I'm not sure why you would want to leave her other than you're pissed off she may keep the baby, which I don't think is nearly enough to justify leaving her. In her defense, it's so easy to say something, but infinitely harder to do it when the situation presents itself. Put her and the baby's needs first and you'll be rewarded in more ways than you can imagine. I have a feeling life won't be as bad as you think it will.

[mattsey9]

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after reading more of OP's replies...i'm changing my mind.

the girl and your child will probably be better off without you.

go on with your life. move to another town and proceed with gambling, hitting the bars, nailing random chicks at your leisure.

don't spend any time thinking about your child's mother getting up 3 times a night to feed the baby; giving up her college education; probably moving back in with her parents; raising a child alone; etc.

don't worry about whatever dude she ends up with raising your child.

what i do hope though, is that in any future serious relationships you have, the new girlfriend finds out just what a classless, selfish, irresponsible douche bag you are and high-tails it for the hills immediately.

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wow...uh...what?

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What did he say that was wrong? That's the scenario you're leaving behind. Life isn't all about you.

[Woolygimp]

It's funny, I've got a 16 year old sister, and half of her friends are pregnant. It's sickening.
One got pregnant at 12 and had it, and another just came forward saying she was pregnant this week. All in all, I think there are about five or six of them total all pregnant. The guys they are having their kids with will probably all be out of their lives in years, or maybe even months and they don't realize how bad they've [censored] up.

My neice had her kid when she was 16, and that was about two or three years ago... and the dad basically cut and run (he was selling drugs). He's actually a partial friend, but just last month he was hospitalized for taking 30 xanax at once.

These guys are some serious douches, so I say you do the right thing and stick with your woman and raise the damn child.

[jackdaniels]

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<font color="red">If you don't know this when you start having sex, you're not mature enough, and you don't understand your partner well enough. Pregnancy is an incredibly emotional thing for women, AND THEY CANNOT BE LOGICAL ABOUT IT.</font>

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Most generally useful paragraph in the thread, I think.

Expecting a woman to feel the same way once they get pregnant as they did before they got pregnant is silly. Imagine that you said in one of those hypothetical games, "yes, it's best for everyone if I kill a baby to wipe out world hunger" (never imagining you would ACTUALLY have to make that decision)...and then someone hands you a baby and a machete. Things look a little different when you're in the situation.

That also doesn't factor in every hormone that women have evolved over millennia waking up and SCREAMING to have the baby. Nor does it take into account the sense of awe that comes from knowing a tiny living being is growing inside you.

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I accept that this is the reality. Women cannot be logical about this decision and will make up their minds on the spot once they learn they are pregnant.

What I don't accept is the notion that this is somehow the mans responsibility. I would like to know how many women would continue to be swayed in a gush of emotion and decide to have the child if they knew that:

1. The father will NOT support them financially or emotionally.
2. The goverment would not support them financially.
3. They would have no help from their parents/siblings.

I'm guessing they'd be whistling a different tune and would quickly find the "logic" of abortion appealing.

[KungFuManchu]

This is an excellent situation where life experience comes into play. Im 27 now, and if I was with a girl and she got pregnant, even finacially strapped Id be happy actually (this depends on our relationship). But you are 22. If I was 22 Id probably be freaking out because there was a lot I didnt know about myself.

Although you do seem a lot more selfish than I do, or was at that age, and Im pretty selfish, but to each his own. So my advice, stop freaking out. Seriously, there is no point anymore. You are in the situation, now is the time to get prepared.

1. find out, is she having the baby. Talk this over and get some sort of resolve on where things are heading.

2. If she is, you can always move to a different town if you hate yours so much. Tell her you can not stand this place and you are going to move, you cant stay here forever. How long were you going to stay anyway, until she finished college? If so, tell her we are out of here once school is up. (btw dont let her drop out, or drop out for long, this will be imo the tougest part, but once shes done with school then move)

3. Move up stakes. More money.

4. You can still enjoy a ton of [censored] while you have kids. Sure things are harder, but you are looking at it, like OMG I have a kid, THE WAY IS SHUT.

5. If you leave her just because of the kid, you are still going to be paying for it, taking care of it. I think if you were going to marry her, and loved her, leaving her because of the kid is a pretty [censored] thing.

6. btw, have you told her any of this, because you should be honest with her here. She needs to know what you are feeling and what you are freaking out about.

7. dreams and ambitions, a kid is not going to stop you here. what dreams and ambitions is the kid going to put up the stop sign on? It may be more complicated, but a kid is not the end of the world. Like a relationship there will be comprimises.

Ive never been in the situation and I know a crapton of guys freakout on this and its normal. But dont treat this like a disease on your future, you need to communicate, figure out whats going on, question what it is that you want for yourself...and be honest with your woman. If you honesty see no way of seeing through whatever future you want for youself, if there is no way that can work with a kid in it, tell her. Go from there.

[KungFuManchu]

And it was mentioned. But she may feel "[censored] KIDS!" before hand, but a girl gets pregnant, almost always it opens their eyes in a completely different way, especially if they have any sort of maternal instincts.

[Ser William]

No way OP is ever leaving that loser hick town. He is 22 and still stuck there trying to play poker to make a living. LOL. No offense, but his life can't get much worse than the path it was heading down anyways, so maybe this will give him the kickstart he needs.

Oh man, this forum can be so depressing sometimes.