ask me about IV drug use

[Rushmore]

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mostly shot heroin (5 years or so) but also shot coke on numerous occasions and a combo of both 100's of times. i have also done pretty much every other drug. you can ask about detoxs, halfway houses, overdoses, costs of habits etc.

i am bored and have to stay home to watch the pups who just got fixed. i also think this has been done is some fashion before, but i always wondered if the people responding were exaggerating a little or just making crap up. i am the real deal holyfield, so if u want to know ask.

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OK, I never told anyone here this, but...

I was strung out for a total of about eight years (including maintenance methadone for a little over a year).

I am really tired right now, and have no intention of going on for too long here, other than to say that heroin addiction is pretty much the most insidiously agonizing thing that can happen to a rational person.

I'll elaborate tomorrow (if anyone's interested), but to make at least SOME comment:

In retrospect, the single worst thing about the adiction is the knowledge that you're about to be sick ALL THE TIME. Granted, when you have reliable sources, and you're not dead broke, you can always get hold of a fix, so you know you can avoid the sickness, but...

Rational people know they need to quit if they want to live. So, assuming the above is true, and you CAN fix (let's not discuss methadone for the time being), the real problem is that you come to realize that you're lying to yourself when you tell yourself how you're GOING to kick "anyday now." This infers that you're going to get strong all of a sudden and realize the value of your life and just NOT fix, even though you COULD easily do so, and, as such, you've decided to accept the sickness in the interest of getting well.

THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN. The sickness is horrible, and it's made infinitely worse because you know it's so easily cured.

I had a $150/day habit for years and years. I was on and off methadone for the final three years, sustaining a "dual habit" and just hustling my ass off to keep myself from the sick.

I'm clean for seven years or so now, and yeah, that's cool and great and all. Turns out life is worth living, etc etc.

I'm going to sleep right now, but I'll stick my head in here tomorrow and add a bunch more. I've got a lot to add to this thread.

Last word for now: If you're strung out on heroin, there's only ONE good option:

Get a bunch of klonodine, a bunch of Vitamin Water or Gatorade, make sure you don't have anything to do for two weeks or so, get a BUNCH of great movies on Netflix, and lock the freakin door.

Unplug the phone. It's just two weeks. The world's not going to end if you disappear for a couple of weeks.

DO NOT USE ANY OPIATES WHILE KICKING. It will only extend your kick, seriously.

[PokeyReese]

Apparently you live in MA, there was an issue all over the papers a year or two ago about setting up a program that gives out free, clean needles to addicts for free. Do you think that'd be a good idea? or would it only increase the problem?
The religious zealots ended any chance that program would take off.

on another note, I bought some Coke in Montreal this past weekend (for a ridicious amount of money I only paid because I was very, very drunk) and tryed for the first time. I'm sure it was [censored] coke, but I really didn't like it all that much. and I have no desire to do it again.

[ShakeZula06]

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funniest story on LSD was there was like 6 off us tripping and one of my friends is like "wow that house is crooked" so we are all standing there STARING at some random house. so eventually this cop car comes and is like WTF are u [censored] doing. now when ur tripping u cant help but smile so this enrages him and he throws us around etc....anyways dude comes out of the crooked house saying we have been staring in his windows for over an hour and a half...LOLOLOLOL


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good stuff

['Chair]

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how did you find Jesus?


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i was working for james cameron at the time.

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zing...(maybe its just early and I find too much too funny when waking up)


Rushmore - do/did you have a problem with "nodding"? If you 'had', did it go away when you were off the 'done'? Did you ever have any issues of mixing 'done' with benzos (was that the reference here "dual-habit")?

Sublime - what kind of family did you grow up w/? Parents married? Upper, Mid, Low class?

[GTL]

how often do u think about using again? do you have the urge to get high on a daily basis? do you ever start thinking about who you could call to hook you up? how hard is it on a daily basis to stay clean? are you constantly afraid of relapse? what is the major thing that keeps you clean? is it a positive emotion like hope, or is it more fear based?

[Rushmore]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
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how did you find Jesus?


[/ QUOTE ]

i was working for james cameron at the time.

[/ QUOTE ]

zing...(maybe its just early and I find too much too funny when waking up)


Rushmore - do/did you have a problem with "nodding"? If you 'had', did it go away when you were off the 'done'? Did you ever have any issues of mixing 'done' with benzos (was that the reference here "dual-habit")?

Sublime - what kind of family did you grow up w/? Parents married? Upper, Mid, Low class?

[/ QUOTE ]

As for nodding, well, sure--many nods were copped. For me, most nodding was the product of dope use, not methadone. Methadone really never did anything much for me other than take the sick away.

As for "dual addiction," the intake counselors usd to use this term to mean "heroin+_______," but to me it always meant that I was on methadone and still shooting dope too.

And yes, I certainly mixed the hell out of methadone and (insert opioid/narcotic here). Unlike many junkies, however, when I was using, I had no use whatsoever for speed or coke. I was exclusively riding the downtown bus.

I am a little regretful, now, of having posted in this thread. But I figure you can't unring a bell, so, there you have it, I guess.

For anyone interested: kicking methadone was much tougher than kicking heroin. If you have a dope habit, you're much better off biting the bullet and kicking cold.

Have fun, kids!! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[rutang]

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I was exclusively riding the downtown bus.


For anyone interested: kicking methadone was much tougher than kicking heroin. If you have a dope habit, you're much better off biting the bullet and kicking cold.



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is "riding the downtown bus" a euphamism for heroin use? i've never heard it before.

can you elaborate more on mathadone use? was it at all like getting high, or was it just taking away the sickness? why was it hard to kick methadone?

[sublime]

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Sublime - what kind of family did you grow up w/? Parents married? Upper, Mid, Low class?

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low class. dad was murdered while mom was preggo with me, she remarried a loser...i mean we werent low low class, but there were times the fridge was empty.

[Rushmore]

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I was exclusively riding the downtown bus.


For anyone interested: kicking methadone was much tougher than kicking heroin. If you have a dope habit, you're much better off biting the bullet and kicking cold.



[/ QUOTE ]

is "riding the downtown bus" a euphamism for heroin use? i've never heard it before.

can you elaborate more on mathadone use? was it at all like getting high, or was it just taking away the sickness? why was it hard to kick methadone?

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Well, on the streets of the Mission and the Tenderloin in San Francisco in the 80's and 90's, "uptown" and "downtown" denoted whether you were looking for opiates or speed/coke.

As for methadone, they say that the reason it is so insidious to kick is the same reason that it is effective: it "pools."

Apparently, methadone sort of finds little pooling places in your system so that it maintains you for longer than it might otherwise.

The downside is that this fact (along with others, of course) makes the kick really rough.

And believe me, I know a LOT of junkies, and not one of them has ever HEARD of anyone with an actual dope habit who ever kicked on a 28-day detox. It's funny, because it's common knowledge that it's a sham, but they continue to act like it's possible.

Anyway, I stupidly tried several times, only to end up on maintenance methadone, 100 mg/day, which is a LOT of methadone, believe me.

If you tried to kick a 100 mg/day methadone habit cold, you could easily die.

So do what all good junkies do--ween yourself to twenty mg or less (which is virtually impossible to begin with), then dive off the deep end and kick that "little 20 mg habit" cold.

To this day, I am missing teeth that BURST to powder I was clenching my teeth so hard. The only relief I got from that was all of the vomiting, sneezing, and sleepless insanity.

Good times.

[sublime]

thankfully i never went the methadone route..i mean i took wafers on the street, but that was a rare occurrence.