What's the funniest 1-liner you've heard after a hand?

[cynic757]

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Yesterday I was playing NL50, and some dude lost an all-in to a suckout by an Ax that he had dominated. After he lost his stack, he exclaimed, "OMG! THAT IS AWFUL! WHAT A HORRIBLE PLAY!!"

Five seconds later:

"nh though"


That had me rolling

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haha, if this was FT it very well could of been me.

I do that all the time.

[Dr_Doctr]

Not sure if this one is up yet -

'Honey, honey, I was supposed to go broke on that hand. But they forgot one thing..., I CAN DODGE BULLETS BABY!!!'

[Black Aces 518]

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At Hollywood Park about a year ago there was this big, fat donkey who was playing every hand and catching cards like mad. He had about 1200 on the 100 buy-in table. So this one guy raises AKo preflop and open shoves a low flop and the donkey snap calls with queen high, no draw. Of course he sucks out and after the hand he lecutures the table, "That's playin' the player, not the cards."

To this day that fat guy is my default image for the donkeys.

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I've got a pretty bad temper, and some of these would have resulted in a major major outburst, such as this one and the "best hand won" by KK when he went running flush to beat AA. Hooooly Christ, insta-permalife tilt.

[HonestRyan]

Ok this one needs a lil back story. Im down in a 10-20 game in LV and one super overweight redheaded hick that I have played w/ before from AR in the game. And the other key player is a man who looks like he was burnt up really bad, whole face was burnt, only had use of one arm, was in a wheelchair, looked like he could only use 2 fingers, basically looks like an old man who was in a terribly disfiguring accident then set on fire 10 years ago.

Redneck gets drawn out on once, and starts cussing. he gets drawn out on a second time and stands up and says "GD-it!! You are the luckiest mother F#####r on this F"N Planet!!!!". so loud everyone turned around. I did everything in my power not to bust out laughing. the poor guy could barely push his chips in the pot. lol. funniest thing i have ever heard in a live poker game

[duecesful]

Live 2/5 game. I make a hero call w/mid pair. bettor muck sand says nice call. i respond
" Calling stations make lots of good calls"

[UtzChips]

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After a big bet on the river this dude called and tabled like 7 high (other guy had winner obv) and said "damn, I thought you were bluffing"

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now that's funny! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Lazare]

Padhraig Parkinson was playing a tournament in Dublin when a guy at his table says 'I've made five final tables so far this year'

Padhraig says 'are you a carpenter?'

[XxGeneralxX]

At a home game one of our friends fathers (50+ yr old black man) who is a very cool guy and loves to gamble is drawing to 3 outs. He needs a jack and a jack only. After he misses on the turn he screams " JACK ME OFF!!!!!! ". everyone erupts in laighter and BOOM the jack drops on the river. Then he gives a Tiger Woods fist pump and rakes in the chips.

[TexRef]

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We had this dude at our table that kept calling out all the odds and percentages: "No way you lost that! You were 67% to win on the flop!" "You had to call there, you were getting 3.5-1 odds." "Runner-runner flush cards? That's only 4% chance! Odds only 4 out of 100 that that would happen!" On and on, whether in the hand or not. Finally some lady says, "What are the odds you'll shut up?"

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Winner!!!

[RikaKazak]

[ QUOTE ]
Padhraig Parkinson was playing a tournament in Dublin when a guy at his table says 'I've made five final tables so far this year'

Padhraig says 'are you a carpenter?'

[/ QUOTE ]

LOLOLOL WINNAR!!11