*OFFICIAL* Sexytime Containment Thread

[Chump Change]

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Agenda for this week: match.com date tomorrow, date with rapistgirl on Weds, call punkchick about thurs or fri, hook up with vegan if time permits.

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This thread will reach epic proportions with a cast of thousands of characters. It will be the War And Peace of the internet.

[Georgia Avenue]

it's been pretty hectic this week...so many broads, so little time.

tuesday I hung out with this vegan chick I used to date...went out to eat, had sex , went to sleep. I feel not so good about this...she's like, Hay we should hang out this weekend and Im like um yeah maybe friday...I'm gonna call and cancel that with her because I dont want her to start being interested in more than sex. Too late for that obv tho. Sigh.

She's only 23 and clearly doesnt get that I am not going to be her bf ever. Why o why must I be so irresistable lol j/k. Besides she won't say "f--k me" when I tell her to. What kind of bs is that?

Anyway, last night I had a date with the chick who raped me last month (search for the thread losers I dont have time to hold your hand or w/e).

She showed up a little late looking smoking, wearing a thin black dress...I'm just wearing a fake lacoste shirt so I'm a bum oops. It's hard to define what this is...it's not a date because we've already had sex...but she seems to want it to be, since we're at a restaurant (bar pilar). I'm getting sick and am worn out from all the sexs the night before so I'm not being very witty. We talk, I can tell she's interested but resisting my little hand touching and stuff. The stupid bar table we're at is huge--can't really get close enough to get intimate. She looks great, her hair is all bouncy and her big brown eyes are sparkling at me in the candlelight...she's gorgeous imo.

About eating: on undefined dates like this at a bar/restaurant i usually eat a little something before I go in case she's not hungry so I dont get bombed and incoherent. This is a way for chicks to gauge how keen you are, so the best policy is to be like, Oh i ate already a bit but I can ALWAYS eat again I'm always hungry. Even an overweight guy should say this, no chick likes a guy who talks about fitness/losing weight or being fat. Most women have a subconscious desire to feed men, or to watch them eat, so you should always give them the option. But you dont want to be chowing down NOMNOMNOM instead of talking. Tapas is the best you can get 2 or 3 things to share and bond like that...

So she's playing the same game "I ate something earlier but..." so I get the cheese and meat plate and order for her. Procioutto, salami, manchego, tillamook and some sheep's milk thing. We pick at it and talk, she's clearly slowpulling her beer. Keeps mentioning that she's tired and has to work...better change something fast or I'm getting a peck and a goodbye. Meanwhile she's being cagey about a lot of stuff, her ethnicity, her job (she works for some kinda secret government organization...no this isnt a joke), her age...mainly her age. This makes me think she's like 35 or so...she keeps joking about how I was born in the 80s...(I wasnt). She may be even older, but hell she looks like she's 22 to me.

After we're done I propose we go down the street to the bar we met at twice before. Like to continue the tradition hahah. Gold ! She smiles and agrees.BUT I try to kiss her on the street and she pulls away like "Uhuh no kissing!" I laugh it off and say, "oh I'm not that sick, I just have allergies imo...maybe thats why i got appendicitus the last time we hung out!" She laughs, cool, passed that test.

In we go and she asks what I want. I spot a couch in a secluded corner...I remember her drinking liqour the last time we hooked up so I order a g&t. She comes back with 2, awesome. We sit close and chat about nothing...put my arm around her and whisper her something about some mohawk dude standing nearby. She starts telling me a story and I look her right in the eyes, smiling, and move in. Soon we're making out with abandon. I get another drink for us both and ease off a bit when I come back. She puts her hand on my thigh, whoops she "accidentally" touched my boner. OK more makeout times. Soon I say, 'let's get out of here' and stand up.

We cab to her place which is huge and nicely decorated. "That's the bedroom, but you won't be seeing that..." she says, I ignore it. She slides into the kitchen, "want a beer before you go?" OK... I take the beer and put it on the counter. She turns around and I put my hands around her waist and pull her up onto the counter. She's moaning as I pull her dress up and pull off her underwear, then slide my pants down to my ankles and slowly enter her. Im leaning against the stove as she puts her feet up on it with her ass still resting on the sink, leaning back and swinging her perfect ass into me like BAMBAMBAM omg awesome. Her arm flails out and spills the beer all over the floor, my pants and wallet and shoes. Obv I dont care so I pick her up and carry her to the bedroom and lay her on her back and put her legs up over my shoulders. Bingobangobongo for a bit and finish in her hand.

Then we do it a lot more. She is pretty insatiable and aggressive, but clearly likes it rough and when I say fokked up stuff to her. Basically the perfect partner...if I can get her to let me lick her eyeball I will probably put her at the top of the playlist.

Around 12:30 I say time to go so that I can pretend I'm leaving and let her seduce me back into another round. Then at 12:50 (lolz) I'm like ok for real this time and walk out with the remnants of the beer and a handful of store-bought brownies.

Today I'm totally wiped out. I've got a first matchcom date tonight and it's either gonna go really well or really terribly because I dont give a s--t about it and I'm feeling like hell. Hopefully my exaustion will come off as playing it cool and I'll spout some sleepy nonsense that at least is amusing.

Mo cunny mo problems in my o.

--GA

[goofyballer]

And you couldn't teach me this? diagf.

[Limesparks]

i think were probably about the same age GA but u make me feel like an old old man

[Georgia Avenue]

I could totally teach you this imo.

First step: make out with a dude.

Metaphorically.

[Georgia Avenue]

Read from bottom up, my convo with this punkrock chick who is the sister of a guy I know. The problem is this thing tomorrow is totally a burlesque show, so it'd be tough to do as a date. Does her last message sound like she'd come alone or bring friends? How to respond?

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----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: chick
RE: close call
Body: I have at least three wigs if you need to borrow one.

I looked at the web page for the bar and it seems at though a good time is guaranteed. You should let me know if you do decide to go and I will see if I can't worm my way up there.



----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: me
Date: Oct 4, 2007 12:15 PM


Miss XXXX does sound like your burlesque name.

Speaking of which here's the link to the sideshow freak bar I was telling you about.
www.website.com
I may be going tomorrow if there's something cool going on since it's like right next to my house. Or I may be sitting a home trying on wigs. I'm spontaneous like that.

--ga


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: chick
Date: Oct 1, 2007 1:11 PM


MS. XXXX would never dream of selling drugs on the internet. I stand outside of adult bookstores when I am pushing my wares.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: me
Date: Oct 1, 2007 11:23 AM

Hi Ms XXXX

I nearly denied your friendrequest because that wig makes you look like a spammer. Be honest, are you trying to sell me illegal medication? I am not a cop.

--ga

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[Smell The Glove]

Saying that you're spontaneous is so unballa.

[Baloosh]

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Most women have a subconscious desire to feed men, or to watch them eat,

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Lol. On what do you base this opinion?

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But you dont want to be chowing down NOMNOMNOM instead of talking.

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Laffo.

Great TR. Looks like you've got quite a bit of experience in this whole game.

[4_2_it]

GA,

I think she will meet you at the bar. I'd say it's 60/40 against her bringing a friend. Just in case, maybe put Cappy on standby [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[Georgia Avenue]

Supposed to be a joke...yeah it sounds corny to me now. Bah. What's my response tho? "Yeah I'm probably going I'll be there at some point?"

I was thinking, don't respond at all online. Wait until like 7pm tomorrow and text her with... "hay wanna go to that thing? me and some peeps are heading there at 10"...

No thats too specific. Text her at 10 with "I'm at that bar you should stop by"?

She doesnt really know anyone in this city so she'd probably come if I invited her...I just need to set up the right situation.

Hmmmm...

edit: Baloosh, i dunno i thought that was standard womanish behavior, no idea where I got that impression. Just a stereotype I've seen reinforced often. They want a man who can eat 4 steaks a day and not gain weight.