Less Hugs, More Bans (NC Thread)

[OziBattler]

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Ozi, answer the questions or prepare for me to ban you.

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welcome back Snitchy!

Matt, its a test...but its not a test for me cos I know the answers and i dont want to spoil the fun. why dont you have a go since I know youll do great...not

btw ban if you dont take the test.

[00Snitch]

hi2u aussie!

its a slow day so...

Results in white below...

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LANGUAGE
1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arse"?
When something, normally mechanical/electrical, stops working.
"me commadore just died in the arse"


2. What is a mole?

Derogetory term for a female. syn.- ugly, unpleasant to be around.
"shazza's a mole"
"that ol mole"


3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
No.
- pretend to be sick to get a day off work
- get angry, go crazy
- wow.... don't know what one :-(


4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."

Last Christmas, the relatives came over in the afternoon. We had a BBQ, a few drinks and some sausages. &lt;whats a "BEx?"&gt; After a nap, we opened the gifts, ate some chocolates, biscuits and sweets. Then we had a few cans of beer mum got angry becase dad and steave had an agrument and got in a fight.



CUSTOMS
1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
depends where they are driving from ldo. its only a half hour drive from brissie

2. Complete the following sentences: a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother … b) You're going home in the back of a …
c) Fair suck of the …

a) knockin'!
b) paddy wagon/ambulence. depends which sporting event you're at
c) sav


3. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
I've had a gutful of poker and can't be fagged playing any more

4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
both. who hasn't. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

5. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Keith and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
My uncle


FOOD
1. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?

well, actually, i fail this one. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]


2. What are the ingredients in a rissole?

Whatever the hell you want. but a minimum of:
- beef mince. no poofy pork.
- onion
- an egg and optionally flour if it's not thick enough
- if you want to make it "gourmet" you can chuck some carrot in, but your mates will think you're a big sheila


3. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.

i got a hard-on when i saw jennifer love hewitt do it on rove. you figure it out.


4. Do you have an Aunty Myrna who is famous for her tuna mornay and other dishes involving a can of cream of celery soup?

her name's shazza, but yes. [nb: that is the honest truth. i do infact have an aunty called shazza who makes that stuff all the time. i win]


5. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been nicked from a bath full of ice?

most weekends


6. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?

this is a tough one. when i host a barbie, i buy heaps of meat and its a free-for-all. if im a guess, i only eat my own unless told by the host to "get some of this inta ya". but since the question is qualified by a "bring-your-own-meat" i would have to say "yes".


7. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

beetroot ldo!



CULTURE
1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?

i'm currently just missing the mower as i live in a small unit


2. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?

if you suck


3. Who would you like to crack on to?

that hot sheila from neighbours


4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?

this is another tough one. kev if you are from ipswich. john if you follow the rugby, kylie if you're from sydney and a fudge packer, warnie if you're bill lawrey


5. Is there someone you are only mates with because
they own a trailer or have a pool?

he's got a ute and a pool. i win.


6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?
I'D LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH DUNCAN! CAUSE DUNCAN'S ME MATE!

The people to be granted citizenship are the ones who call it a crock and cheat.</font>

[kerowo]

Jebus, that's too long, I wouldn't read that much to be allowed to stay in Denver.

Denver, America's other white meat.

[Todpullen]

I just forwarded that Aussie quiz to my wife (she is from Aus) and I can hear her laughing so it must be good. She is offering to explain them to me [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Interestingly I could only answer a couple but I *did* know what 'to chuck a U-ey' meant.

[Xhad]

[ QUOTE ]
I read every post and I still don't know what this thread is about. The lolcats thread link however made me smile out aloud a couple of times.

[/ QUOTE ]

Cliffs notes: Nielso hates all government and thinks 9/11 was a conspiracy, and no amount of evidence will convince him otherwise. After several cycles of "Nielso, address X argument instead of posting more stupid links" followed by Nielso posting a stupid link, kerowo gave up and degenerated into lolcatting. This caused Nielso to cry to the mods.

[Xhad]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Re: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...=1#Post12356318

Am I to understand that linking any preflop chart of any kind is against the forums rules now? Or am I misreading the thread when I think at least some of those links were to charts made by forums members rather than those in any book?

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xhad, in that thread it wasnt the charts that were the problem. The mod edits by Wookie and I cover it but fyi the first one contained a huge pdf that had some articles copied in their entirely in it that I wasnt comfortable leaving there since I wasnt sure of the source and as I said he didnt need them there. FWIW the actual chart part of the pdf in linked to in SSSH FAQ under "How should I play pre-flop (pf)?" so i dont know why OP didnt link to that one.

[/ QUOTE ]

OK, thanks.

[kerowo]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I read every post and I still don't know what this thread is about. The lolcats thread link however made me smile out aloud a couple of times.

[/ QUOTE ]

Cliffs notes: Nielso hates all government and thinks 9/11 was a conspiracy, and no amount of evidence will convince him otherwise. After several cycles of "Nielso, address X argument instead of posting more stupid links" followed by Nielso posting a stupid link, kerowo gave up and degenerated into lolcatting. This caused Nielso to cry to the mods.

[/ QUOTE ]

The sad thing is that people still continue to argue for and against him in that thread. Every couple of weaks it gets bumped again and I get to put another lolcat into the thread.

[Dr. Matt]

To be an Aussie you'll need to be able to pass this test.


LANGUAGE
1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arse"?

No I do not.

2. What is a mole?

6.022x10^23 units

3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?

Ozi chucks-a-dickie.

4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."

Last Christmas, the relatives started a bon-fire for festive beers and some yummy doritoes. After getting smashed and getting a nap, we opened the presents and ate all the chocolate, and lollipops. Then we drank some coffee and Mum [censored]-blocked dad AND Steve, but finally gave in and gave Barney a blow.


CUSTOMS
1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
Knowing how well Ozi holds his booze? About 2 slabs would be my guess.

2. Complete the following sentences: a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother … b) You're going home in the back of a …

a) knockin’ b) kangaroo

c) Fair suck of the …

lollies

3. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
I ate too much and I can’t get a smoke.

4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?

I gave a ton of wedgies.



CULTURE
1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots? - No
2. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"? - I hope not.
3. Who would you like to crack on to? - a hot lady.
4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie? - Williamson, DUR
5. Is there someone you are only mates with because
they own a trailer or have a pool? - yep.
6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan? – f no.

[OziBattler]

nice try sir. you're no aussie (not that you want to be anyway) but if you ever visit downunder ill shout ya tinnie at the local before getting into a barfight and leaving in the back of a divvie van. you made me lol. ban averted.

[ QUOTE ]
4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie? - Williamson, DUR

[/ QUOTE ]
wrong. Kevin Bloody Wilson FTW...lyrics from one of his songs goes "do you [censored] on first dates? does your dad own a brewery, can I feel ya [censored] or will you show em to me? youve got a nice head and you look pretty honest, my face Ill be leaving in a quart of an hour, I'd like u to be on it" (I probably got the exact words wrong but you get the picture)

edit: you can find a nice listing of his songs here . Have a read you wont be disappointed. Check out the awesome "You Cant Say [censored] In Canada". Enjoy!

thats 100% true blue dinky die aussie

doritos and [censored]-block .. lolol.

dude, everyone has a beer with Duncan cos Duncans me mate. seriously.

I leave you with "Up there cazaly"....try figuring that one out without googling

[00Snitch]

nice try matt!

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6.022x10^23 units


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lolololol NERD!

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6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan? – f no.


[/ QUOTE ]

That is automatic failure. Please leave our country.

ohhhh, chuck a U-ey. Now i get it. i'm so ashamed. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]