Hollywood Hair Hall Of Fame

[Brock Landers]

#1 is very easy. Tom Cruise

[Aloysius]

Brock - You really didn't think through this carefully, did you? I ask you to review the respective hair oeuvres of Cruise vs. Pitt vs. Swayze.

If you still think Cruise is easily #1, then I think we have very different ideas on what makes for a great hair performance. And also I think you are wrong.

Subjectively,
-Al

[Rduke55]

[ QUOTE ]
me too.

Come on Sam, enough keeping us in



[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, now this thread sucks because of the wait.
BOO thread!

[samjjones]

In compiling this list, there was one name that I completely dreaded getting to. After the initial step of drawing up my short list, the next step was to Google tons of hairstyles from the movies these guys had been in. In most cases, this was not a problem. But with our #1 "Hollywood Hair Hall Of Fame" member Brad Pitt, I knew I was going to have to sort through hundreds of pictures to find specific examples of his great hair. This was tough. Pitt's hair looks fantastic in EVERY single picture I could find. More importantly, however, there was no way in hell I was going to do this at work. All I need is for somebody to walk past my desk while I have Brad Pitt pictures all over the place. I have a family to feed.

So while I had to check my masculinity at the door to find these awesome pics, I can now present to you a virtual career retrospective of Brad's hair. As somebody very wise once said, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few", I have waded through and eliminated most of the homoerotic pics from this thread. I am pretty sure that there is nothing GAY about appreciating this man's glorious hair. Although we may want to check on that.


Brad Pitt in "Thelma and Louise"

This was Brad's first big break, and he plays Geena Davis' boy toy. He goes with the long, combed back look, maybe a little gel or mousse, and it looks great. A very solid start to a great career.

Brad Pitt in "Johnny Suede"

WTF! The movie sucked ass, but this is a super do. Brad looks like a hair bullet. A hair bullet that flew straight into our hearts.

Brad Pitt in "Cool World"

Brad was one of the few live-action elements in this Don Bluth flick. Obviously, no cartoon or CGI construct can compete with Brad's hair. Look at the height and the volume. This guy's hair is capable of anything.

Brad Pitt in "A River Runs Through It"

In this Robert Redford drama, Brad spends most of his time fly fishing or getting his ass beat. While on set, Redford gets too close to Brad's hair at a critical moment of filming, and his entire face becomes extremely wrinkled and leathery from the radiation given off by Brad's do. His acting career ruined, Redford founds the Sundance Institute. Independent filmmakers begin worshiping Brad's hair accordingly.


Brad Pitt in "Kalifornia"

This flick is notable for two things. First, Brad plays a crazed serial killer with a super scruffy beard and long, wild hair. Second, he begins banging Juliette Lewis on the side. When he first meets Brad, Juliette's father Geoffrey Lewis brings his good friend Clint Eastwood over to try and intimidate Brad. When he gets there, Clint can only squint at the luminosity of Brad's hair, and cowers away in confusion. This is why Pitt has never worked with Eastwood. Brad then proceeds to have sex with Juliette Lewis right in front of her dad.

Brad Pitt in "True Romance"

Brad goes back to the blonde do, and the results are excellent. At the time of filming, Warner Bros. suspects Brad might be using "real" recreational drugs in his scenes. In an attempt to verify this, they send somebody to snip a lock of his hair. Unfortunately, conventional shears are powerless against Brad's hair, and he lets the locks flow.


Brad Pitt in "The Favor"

Brad cleans it up a bit, but his hair is such a force of nature that it cannot be constrained by a standard business cut. He also has sex with MILFs Elizabeth McGovern and Harley Jane Kozak while on set. At the same time. Because he can.

Brad Pitt in "Interview With the Vampire"

Definitely one of his career highlights. Look how impressively full and wavy his hair is. After this film, Pantene changes its conditioner formula to be a mixture of a sampling of Brad's fecal droppings and a mildly pleasing deodorant. Sales increase 7564%.


While on set, Tom Cruise becomes increasingly smitten by the magnificence of Brad's hair. But as everybody knows, Brad only bangs insanely hot, insanely wild, or insanely hot/wild chicks. His advances spurned, Cruise decides to repress his homosexuality and undertakes a series of fake relationships with women. Somewhere, Anthony Edwards cries a single tear.


Brad Pitt in "Legends of the Fall"

Like a fine wine, Brad's hair also gets better with age. Brad begins getting serious attention from crazed female stalkers. Coincidentally, Henry Thomas' sex life improves dramatically.

Brad Pitt in "Seven"

Brad busts out a fantastic spiky flat top in this. How how incredibly full it is in front. Just perfect. He also begins banging Gwyneth Paltrow and eventually throws her away like yesterday's news. At this point, Brad is already a full-fledged member of the "Hollywood Hair Hall of Fame", but like Hank Aaron after hitting his 500th home run, Brad is just getting started.

Brad Pitt in "Twelve Monkeys"

Working off of his do in the previous effort, Brad adds a crazy eye to complete the effect of a mental patient. Madeline Stowe gets so hot while working with Brad, she finds the nearest available man to have sex with. Luckily for Brian Benben, "Dream On" shares a soundstage next door.

Brad Pitt in "Sleepers"

The picture isn't great, but Brad is laughing in this one after just [censored] up Kevin Bacon. Because that's how HE rolls.

Brad Pitt in "The Devil's Own"

Going with a longer blonde look, watch the hair flow while getting punched from Harrison Ford. Ford looks like he just smelled a fart, because in actuality, the director [censored] his pants when he saw how awesome Brad's hair looked in this scene. Slainte, indeed.

Brad Pitt in "Seven Years in Tibet"

Never saw this movie, but I think Brad plays a Nazi with super powers in it. Or something. Whatever. His hair still looks great, though.

Brad Pitt in "Meet Joe Black"

Brad invokes a little Redford for this one. I guess since he was supposed to be the living embodiment of Death, that is appropriate.

Brad Pitt in "Fight Club"

In another career highlight, Brad sports two phenomenal dos in this one.

Just look at how good the buzzcut is here. Perfect hairline. Just wow.


Brad Pitt in "Snatch"

Again, look at how Brad's hair flows so gracefully. Even soaked in sweat, it still looks super. I don't have any idea what he was saying in this film, but his hair was saying "I love the world so much that I gave ME to it."

Brad Pitt in "The Mexican"

In this "on the run" film, Brad's hair is supposed to look like he doesn't have time to do it. But it still looks great nonetheless. While on set, Brad's hair impregnates Julia Roberts. Not wanting to be tied down by that horsefaced diva, Brad pays a camera guy to sleep with her and claim responsibility.

Brad Pitt in "Ocean's 11"

Here, he goes with a stylish short cut with blonde highlighting. This movie makes a ton of money, and Brad's hair begins demanding its own trailer.

Brad Pitt in "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind"

In this favor for Clooney, Brad goes with the "guy from ABBA" look, and totally hits it out of the park. He then proceeds to bang 30 pounds off of Jennifer Aniston.

Brad Pitt in "Troy"

Cementing his status as gay icon, Brad goes with long blonde flowing locks in this one. The movie kinda sucks, but his hair looks great while running around in battles and other CGI crap.

Brad Pitt in "Ocean's 12"

Once again, Brad shows his versatility by going to the buzzcut, and once again he completely rocks it. It is amazing how this guy goes to completely different looks from film to film.

Brad Pitt in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith"

Pitt keeps the buzzcut, and begins screwing crazy/hot Angelina Jolie. His penis thanks him.


Congratulations Brad Pitt. We stand in awe of your hair. Bravo.

Borderline Gay Hair Montage

[MrWookie]

Epic.

[jctc]

This is easily the best thing I've ever read on 2+2, thanks for the great thread!

[ScottieK]

Samjjones - we salute you. NH

ScottieK

[diebitter]

Okay,. not much point doing a thread of the year in December, I'd say.


VVVVVVNH!

[The Vibesman]

That montage was a bit more than "borderline" gay.

Fantastic work, Sam. Just awesome.

[4_2_it]