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#121
09-26-2007, 09:40 PM
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Re: LOL Val DOESNT have a date
BTW, about this chick...
She's what Americans like to call a cocktease. Stay away if possible. She won't put out and isn't able to handle a serious relationship with anyone. You can probably melt her with a teddy bear though. 
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#123
09-26-2007, 10:03 PM
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Re: LOL Val DOESNT have a date
pro-tip: when you do go to third base which might not be for awhile - remember it is always two steps forward, then one step back. I have always been bad at which base is which.
But the point is that by pulling back you can make them want to go to the next step easier.
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#124
09-26-2007, 10:08 PM
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Re: LOL Val DOESNT have a date
inner thighs inner thighs inner thighs
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#126
09-26-2007, 10:18 PM
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Re: LOL Val DOESNT have a date
no gym for me, Im doing an excerise routine which is done by the canadian air force or something like that. The routine has to be done every day. Sorry but even if its good for me ,etc I just cant go to a gym , im way to insecure to do it.
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#127
09-26-2007, 10:32 PM
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Re: LOL Val DOESNT have a date
[ QUOTE ]
pro-tip: when you do go to third base which might not be for awhile - remember it is always two steps forward, then one step back. I have always been bad at which base is which. But the point is that by pulling back you can make them want to go to the next step easier. [/ QUOTE ] From the early days of the interweb... [ QUOTE ] Do you remember middle school/junior high/high school? If so, do you remember talking about 'the bases' with your friends? "Yeah man, at the dance, X and Y went behind the gym and they got to second base!" Well that was cool and all, but what the hell was second base? Tongue kissing? Up the shirt? Noone was really sure. Also, the bases tended to get progressively more intense as you got older. What's a person to do? Here, we mourn the passing of using baseball ananlogies to describe sexual activity. But let's face it, there are more than four stages in todays day and age of sex play. So, in the interests of both bringing baseball sex metaphors in line with the complications of modern romance and with standardizing the bases, we present the Standardized Guide to the Bases. First, let's examine what the bases could have meant in the old days: First Base - This was almost always kissing, although one guy I knew thought it meant holding hands. Sometimes it was tongue kissing and sometimes not. Second Base - Variously this meant tongue kissing, breast feeling, or outside the clothes genital contact. Third Base - Usually this was a hand down the pants of you or your partner. Home Run - This was ALWAYS sex, although it was rarely reached in the times when you had to refer to it in terms of bases. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Well that system is ok, if you are a young teenager with a repressed sex drive. But what happens when you reach maturity and new factors enter the equation, such as oral sex? And what about the exact definitions? Well we have attempted to answer such puzzling questions and present without further ado: Standardized Guide to the Bases! On Deck - Having plans for a date Strike-Out - Duh!! Walk - Kissing Bunt - Masturbation Single - Tongue kissing Double - Breasts/chest touched, some clothes off, lots of grabbing and feels Triple - Most of the clothes off, genital contact, mutual masturbation Inside the park home run - Oral Sex Home Run - SEX! Ground Rule Double - would have sex, but no condom Error - Condom breaks during sex Banned for life for gambling - sex without condom Hall of Fame - Marriage Balk - Premature ejaculation Pine Tar - KY jelly Relief pitcher - Vibrator Rain Delay - parents/roommate return home unexpectedly\ Box Seats - Waterbed Seventh Inning Stretch - Unusual positions Rookie - Virgin Switch Hitter - Sex with her one night, and her brother the next. Minor Leagues - Under 18 Loaded Bases - manage a trois Grand Slam - Sex three times in twelve hours Foul tip - VD Three up and three down - impotency Now that we have the definitions, lets quickly contrast the old confusion with current clarity: OLD WAY - We, um got to third base, I guess and then we, um got like past third base, but not to home plate. I really like her... NEW WAY - First, there was a triple, then we got and inside the park home run, and started thinking, it's Hall of Fame time! NEW WAY - So there I was with the bases loaded and nobody out, when I balked during the seventh inning stretch and i had to call in a relief pitcher. [/ QUOTE ] God knows why I remembered this, but google found it in nothing flat. Remember when google used to be called lycos?
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#128
09-26-2007, 10:40 PM
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Re: LOL Val DOESNT have a date
[ QUOTE ]
no gym for me, im way to insecure to do it. [/ QUOTE ] Part of the reasoning of going to the gym is to deal with the insecurity issues that you have. I am not telling you to work out because having a ripping bod is the only way to get girls. I am telling you to work out at the gym because it will help you control the insecurities, and help get you into whatever shape you feel comfortable in. I want you out of the vicious circle of, I am to insecure because I am to skinny/fat, but I can't get into shape because I can't go to the gym because I am to insecure, and then you use that as a reason to never talk to girls or make new friends.
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#129
09-26-2007, 10:53 PM
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Re: LOL Val DOESNT have a date
[ QUOTE ]
two steps forward, then one step back [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] inner thighs inner thighs inner thighs [/ QUOTE ] This is all you need to know about foreplay
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