Bizarre injuries you've suffered

[highlife]

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In pre-school I was walking around with a Tinkertoy pipe in my mouth that I had made. Some kid hit the pipe and the stem made a hole in the back of my throat. Bled like crazy and I kept choking on my blood. Had to go to the hospital.

I put a smoke bomb in a knot hole on a tree, then tried to cover up the knot hole with my hand to see if the smoke would come out of another knot hole. Burned my hand pretty bad.

On a canoe trip another kid was trying to throw rocks in the river, but watching my uncle to see if he was looking. My uncle had told him not too. So the kid turns around and accidentally flings giant jagged rock into my face from about 2ft. Stiches, hospital.

My friend and I were going to race on our sleds. I thought it would be funny to jump in my sled backwards (head first), on my back and look back at him and laugh. I ran into a concrete light pole with my head going full speed. I got up on my knees but all the wind was knocked out of me and I couldn't breathe. I just remember trying to suck in a tiny breath of air, until I passed out face first in the snow. Supposedly I was out cold for a couple minutes. How I didn't break my neck is a mystery.

A month ago mountain biking in mammoth I wipe out, feel fine, start riding again, and look down at this beauty - WARNING GROSS AND PROBABLY NSFW!!!

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Is that you and your GF/Wife in the first pic? If so, she is way too hot for you dude.

[KDawg]

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A few nights ago I woke up screaming in pain and started punching my wall. I had a charlie horse in my calf and it was easily the most painful one I've ever experienced. 2 Days later I'm still struggling to walk comfortably.

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I've definitely had this one, minus the punching the wall part. Not fun.

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I've had my calf lock up on my when I've slept several times in my life. It really sucks. I've actually found that if it happens, start massaging the calf and slowly point your toes down. you still may be limping for the rest of the day, but it won't be really bad

[dlk9s]

When I was pitching in 7th or 8th grade, I strained a tendon in my shoulder (so said the doctor). This somehow affected my ulnar nerve, making it feel like I hit my funny bone every time I threw the ball. Somehow, I made it through the inning. Freak thing, never happened again once it healed, which did not take long. I was back on the mound within a couple weeks.

[BretWeir]

When I was about 8, a car ran over my foot. It was a little red but no real damage. About 20 years later, I was in a minor fender bender. My wife was driving and hit the brakes hard, causing my head to lurch forward and crack the windshield. I had a little bump, but again no real damage. I think I may be part cyborg.

[dcb777]

I ripped my hand open playing a 1999 version of Golden Tee (an arcade golf game) that we had in our apartment Junior year of college. I was drunk and while slamming the ball forward to tee off I caught my hand on one of the screws sending blood everywhere. I ended up with 8 stitches.

In another bizarre drinking accident, I stepped down out of my bunk bed in my freshman year room, knocked over mmcd's ashtray breaking it on the floor and then somehow fell onto the broken shards of the ashtray. I woke up the next morning with blood all over my bed and no recollection of what had happened. I pieced together the version I listed above, but am not totally sure to this day. I got 12 stitches in my side and was told by the ER staff I almost needed surgery because I waited so long for stitches.

Anyways you can tell from the stories that I am a social drinker..

[aislephive]

A couple years ago I was making soup or something on my stove and left the spoon I was using to stir in the pot. Like a complete dumbass, a minute or two later I come back to check on it and try to pick up the spoon. Within minutes my thumb swells up like a fetus and starts throbbing uncontrollably.

Before that when I was in 9th grade I used a steak knife to cut open a bagel and cut the tip of my ring finger pretty good. Had to get it stitched up and all that jazz, and I have a slight scar where it happened that will be there for life.

[hoyasaxa]

not me, but the other day while drinking heavily my friend and I decided it would be a good idea to break a bottle of shiner bock over my head while I wore a hard hat. After he broke the bottle, I was very surprised that I didnt feel a thing. He, however, was running towards his kitchen, as he had a lovely gash in his wrist that was spurting blood. We went to the emergency room and he got three stitches. The entire time I was laughing hysterically that I wasn't the one hurt in this situation.

[KlumsySmurf]

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A few nights ago I woke up screaming in pain and started punching my wall. I had a charlie horse in my calf and it was easily the most painful one I've ever experienced. 2 Days later I'm still struggling to walk comfortably.

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I've definitely had this one, minus the punching the wall part. Not fun.

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I've had my calf lock up on my when I've slept several times in my life. It really sucks. I've actually found that if it happens, start massaging the calf and slowly point your toes down. you still may be limping for the rest of the day, but it won't be really bad

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I was on dialysis for a year and when they'd take too much fluid off (usually shot for 2-3kg depending on my weight change over 2-3 days) I would get the worst calf cramps of my life that would last for up to 30 minutes. The pain was unbearable and I almost broke down in tears several times. There was a hot young (25, I was 22 at the time)dialysis technician that would come by and massage my legs when this happened so it wasn't all bad.

When I was 6 or so I was lifting large rocks above my head while pretending that I was superman. I lifted one that was a bit too heavy and dropped it straight on my big toe. It bled like crazy and the entire nail came off.

My first year of junior high (7th grade) I was playing a game we called powerdodge. Basically we took the motors out of old powerwheels we had, tied them up to a bike and towed someone down a big hill near my house as fast as possible while throwing objects in front of them to dodge. I was on the powerwheels and failed to dodge a shopping cart thrown in front of me, instead flipping over and skidding on my right knee for several feet. There wasn't any blood just a soft pure white jellowy tissue substance that was exposed. It didn't hurt either until that night when my mom had to remove all the debris from it and sterilize it. For 2 weeks after everytime I bumped my knee the scab would fall off and it would start bleeding. I remember my first Jr High dance I was rockin to Cypress Hill's Insane in the Membrane and the scab fell off from rubbing against my pants leg. By the time I noticed it my lower pants leg was soaked in blood and it was dripping on the floor. I still have an awesome scar on my knee from that.

[GeraldGiraffe]

I have a pretty big scar on my left forearm near the elbow, probably about and inch long and half an inch across that was the result of drunkenly clearing up after a party. I'd filled a big bin bag with glass, and obviously some of it was broken. When I got it to the bin, I couldn't lift it high enough using one arm, so I used my left arm to support the bottom of the bag while I heaved it up to the lip of the bin. As soon as I let go of the bag to drop it into the bin I felt an excruciating pain in my left forearm and so of course, I ripped my arm back as fast as I could - which given that there was a shard of glass embedded in it wasn't the best idea.

Initially, the cut was very wide but not too deep and it didn't bleed too much - I think I went right through the top layer of skin and I could see a lot of weird looking white stuff which I'm assuming is some sort of second layer. It didn't bleed a lot, but it hurt for a long time. I should have had it stitched but didn't bother, which is why I now have a big scar from it.

Last year I went through a phase of riding my bicycle when too drunk to walk - this also resulted in some pretty nasty injuries, though mostly of the enormous bruise variety.

I have one from when I was younger too: when I was about 7 years old, I was riding my sister's bike, which had a vinyl seat. I got up to a pretty high speed, and promptly slipped off the seat backwards, but still holding on to the handlebars. I was dragged for a good 20 yards before I worked out that a decent idea would be to let go. I smacked my face on the road as well, and my last memory before momentarily passing out is seeing the bike continue on in a perfect straight line to the end of the road before smashing into a car.

I was a bit retarded with bikes when I was younger. The first time I ever rode one without stabilisers, I forgot that steering was an essential component of good bike riding, and ploughed into a wall.

The last one is an injury I inflicted on someone. I used to play Rugby, and when I was about 14 my team was playing in the quarter finals of the county cup. We're ahead, and the opposition winger is flying towards us. I come in to make a tackle from about a 45 degree angle, hit him square on, but I have so much momentum behind me that I drag him and myself towards the touchline and end up accidentally kicking a 60 year old man in the face with my studs up.

[CORed]

In a former job, I was a supervisor at a small company that, among other things, bottled cleaning products (bleach, ammonia, and other wonderful stuff.) One evening, after everyone else had gone home, I was tidying up, running a forklift to put everything back in its proper place. The last item I had to move was a pallet containing boxes of empty half-gallon plastic bottles. These were the odd boxes from a bundle that had been broken, so the boxes were just stacked 4 or 5 high with some twine tied around the top layer, so it wasn't real stable. I set the pallet down, started to back out from under it, and the stack started to tip over. Not wanting to spend another 2 or 3 minutes picking up bottles and putting them back in the boxes, I quickly jumped off the lift (a propane lift with automatic transmission) and deftly caught the boxes before they tipped over -- with the lift still in reverse and my foot directly behind the front wheel of the lift. So, the lift ran over my foot, and I had to chase it down with my sore foot before it ran into something and did serious damage. My foot wasn't seriously damaged, just bruised, but it was sore for about three weeks afterwards. Unfortunately there were no surveillance cameras in the place, because I'm sure a video of that incident would have been a hit on you-tube. This was an ancient forklift, so it didn't have the saftey switches that newer ones have to prevent the lift from moving when an operator isn't seated.