Anyone want to buy my $200 credit with TJ Cloutier?

[blackjack777]

This thread is the most interesting thing I have ever experienced on the net.

Someone called the paper I work for, then requested 10 copies of my most recent columns, not 10 of each, but the last 10.

Anyways, they said they discovered me on 2 plus 2.

To whoever that was, thanks, my editor was happy.

[apefish]

Um... you did see the furor over the Tuffdaughter thread and what they did with that info right?

I hope Mark Twain, William Randolph Hearst, and Malcolm Forbes don't end up gangediting you in a torrid tale that has you in leather chaps reciting Chaucer. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[Mickey Brausch]

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How is American football the most similar to chess?

[/ QUOTE ] Moves and counter-moves. Strategy of space. Discrete plays. Etc.



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I just don't understand how you can make this argument only for football and not other sports. Out of the brief criteria you mentioned I think every sport (especially baseball comes to my mind) has it.

[/ QUOTE ]Baseball is close but not as close as American football.

Try to "write" down in discrete-like notation the two sides' "moves" during a game of soccer. You can't because the game is totally fluid and continuous (a different kind of beauty). The discreteness of "moves" in American football, along with the kind of strategy involved are defining criteria. And I'm not using the the comparison to chess to claim footbal coaches are smarter comparatively to coaches of other sports, no. But the football game itself is a lot like the denouement of a chess game, often with clearly defined analysis trees, even.


Mickey Brausch

[Shadowrun]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
How is American football the most similar to chess?

[/ QUOTE ] Moves and counter-moves. Strategy of space. Discrete plays. Etc.



[/ QUOTE ]

I just don't understand how you can make this argument only for football and not other sports. Out of the brief criteria you mentioned I think every sport (especially baseball comes to my mind) has it.

[/ QUOTE ]Baseball is close but not as close as American football.

Try to "write" down in discrete-like notation the two sides' "moves" during a game of soccer. You can't because the game is totally fluid and continuous (a different kind of beauty). The discreteness of "moves" in American football, along with the kind of strategy involved are defining criteria. And I'm not using the the comparison to chess to claim footbal coaches are smarter comparatively to coaches of other sports, no. But the football game itself is a lot like the denouement of a chess game, often with clearly defined analysis trees, even.


Mickey Brausch

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Moves in Baseball

Steal
Double Steal
Sac-Bunt
Sac-Fly
Hit-And-Run
Pitch Out
Defensive Substitutions
Offensive Substitutions
Defensive Shifts
Pitching Counts


(Just off the top of my head, no website)

Moves in Football

Defensive Substitutions
Offensive Substitutions
Blitz Defense
Zone Defense
Deciding when to kick (field goal)
Deciding when to punt
Pass/Run Ratio
Calling Plays (coach or QB)
Hot Routes

(Just off the top of my head, no website)



Obviously, the amount of things I listed in reality has no bearing (outside if they are considered “moves” or not) because I’m sure I could list more. Also, not all moves are created equal (but I personally can’t judge the value between deciding to have a Fade Route to Plexico and telling Soriano to steal).

I just want to hear more specific examples (if possible) of why Chess~Football.
I don’t think I’ll change my viewpoint, but I am curios to see the way you deduced Chess~Football.

[otnemem]

Out of all sports, boxing most clearly resembles chess. Baseball's not even close.

[Bump-en-Stein]

[ QUOTE ]
This thread is the most interesting thing I have ever experienced on the net.

Someone called the paper I work for, then requested 10 copies of my most recent columns, not 10 of each, but the last 10.

Anyways, they said they discovered me on 2 plus 2.

To whoever that was, thanks, my editor was happy.

[/ QUOTE ]

It was me. You are welcome. I had run out of toilet paper.


Your writing is terrible. Also, it is unbelievable that you cover sports and do not know that the NBA carries over certain types of fouls ... just like soccer. Better yet, you used the NBA as an example to make your point; however, the NBA's rule is very similar to FIFA'S.

Get your act together quick.

[MicroBob]

What about him thinking you are allowed to get an unlimited number of yellow-cards per game???

[Dementia]

[ QUOTE ]
This thread is the most interesting thing I have ever experienced on the net.

Someone called the paper I work for, then requested 10 copies of my most recent columns, not 10 of each, but the last 10.

Anyways, they said they discovered me on 2 plus 2.

To whoever that was, thanks, my editor was happy.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL your writing isn't very good but that is just pathetic.

[Steph Djordjevic]

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Not a lot of action on the Cloutier debt... I thought someone would like at least to read about themselves and how they purchased a bad debt fairly inexpensively.


Do I hear 6 dollar?

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I think you should do a story about me. Also, let me know if your paper has any openings, check out a few of my prize winning stories:


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“Why do I suck on Fridays?“





My worst day ever was on a Friday, and it had to do with the biggest football game of my life.




My team, the Ampipe Bulldogs, traveled to play the Walnut Heights Knights, a team my coach, Vern Nickerson had never beaten. This was our year...not. We were winning at the end in a huge downpour. Instead of having Rifleman kneel on the ball, Coach Nick orders him to hand off to the tailback.




Stupid, stupid, stupid. We fumbled and lost the game. I got in a huge argument with Coach about the play and was not allowed on the team bus.




I got drunk later that night, and went with some guys and dumped trash on his lawn. He caught me, and got in big trouble.




As it stands now, because of my unlucky Friday, I have to make all the right moves to get a college football scholarship.

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“Girl Trouble”




I do pretty well with the ladies, myself. But I'm always looking for another angle. Right now, I am going through some tough times with my girlfriend. She does not understand how football players can get full college scholarships, while someone truly talented at being in the marching band, usually cannot. Even if a band member gets a scholarship, its usually pretty crappy and you even have to buy your own sheet music.




My girlfriend is mad because if I make all the right moves, I will get a scholarship. She, on the other hand, is in the marching band and complains over and over and over again about how it so hard to get a marching band "skolly" and how unfair the whole thing is.




If it were up to me, I would give her a full scholarship for playing the skin flute and/or the peach piccolo. She is not too good on the trouser oboe, very good on piano, but she sucks on the organ. Also, she looks like “Bailey” from “Party of Five.”




Anyway. Football players are men, and men are inherently more deserving of scholarships. First off all, if you give too many scholarships to women, the math and science classes will die out due to under-enrollment and the college might as well be for arts, crafts, and gothic literature.




When is the last time you paid money to watch a marching band. When is the last time you paid money to watch a concert of chamber music (instead of going to watch football). Football is big business and it makes the whole college allot of money and basically if you did not have football, you would not have college.




True story. Harvard was struggling as an academic institution as well was Yale. They thought of co-opting to cut down on expenses, but that would have been too weird. Instead, they invented football, and Yale decided to bring a bull dog to the game. One smart guy decided to bring sausages and grilling meat and a smarter guy brought beer and ale. A professor pulled a jar of mustard out of his pocket and things started to rock. Basically, this saved both Harvard and Yale.




What did the goddamn marching band ever do for academics?

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“Facing Reality”





I don't know how it fell apart.




1. My girlfriend took off ... she got a music scholarship for the trouser oboe.




2. My best friend took off ... he met up with his dad and brother who were part of an organized crime ring that stole tractors. It was very dangerous; as it turned out they were At Close Range with a mad killer the whole time. The last I saw of him, he was eating himself out of his house.




3. Coach Nickerson sold out and became an actor PLAYING a football coach on TV, which explains why I didn't get the call to play football at Cal Poly. The last I heard, he had a terrible experience buying a house in California.




Even though I am 5'4" I do have mad hops, and am famous for having a "nose" for the ball. If only that would have played out correctly, I would not have to be making all he right moves to get a football scholarship.




Instead, I would only have to be making the right move more often than not so that I don't blow my football scholarship.




Now, I am just coming to grips that I will not be getting an 18-year-old, 6" growth spurt. At the same time, I have made a majority of the required right moves to get that scholarship. 1. I brought my grades up, even though I spent half the semester in the steel mill; 2. I do have mad hops; 3. I have a "nose" for the ball; 4. I look a lot like Tom Cruise (pre-Cocktail days) 5. I have the desire to leave this dreary, dying steel town in my rear view mirror (assuming I get a car first). 6. My girlfriend is a dead ringer for Leah Thompson; and if not, is damn near a dead ringer for Bailey from Party of Five.




Still, my life is looking up. I just started training for football and am even eating better. For breakfast, I tried the new, all-fiber cereal called All the Right Moves.

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“Happy Future”




I'll tell you what this country needs ... "All the Right Moves Two, Electric Boogaloo."




Having failed to land a college scholarship as a 5'4" cornerback, Steph has to make "all the right moves" in a local break dancing competition ... first prize? Well, a pair of parachute pants, but its a step in the right direction.




The money does not flow in until Steph and his new girlfriend in a dreary Penn. steel town invent a new dance ... Flashdance. Together they take the dancing world by storm, and EACH get college scholarships.

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[nath]

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