Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)

[Triumph36]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Often times when someone has an affair,even non-sexual, they magnify all the negatives and minimize the positives of their partner and vice versa with the affair partner.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is called bias. People do it a million times a day every day about everything. I know where this is all coming from obviously, but, lol.

[/ QUOTE ]

or justifying.....but it's hard to know u are doing it when you are in the situation

[/ QUOTE ]

this is called attraction, not justification.

[VoraciousReader]

[ QUOTE ]
VR,

You're really speaking to me here. Butter-related conflict has been the irresistible force that has torn my relationships in two, time and time again. Not just with women, but with friends, family, and even in the workplace. [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] Land O' Lakes [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] unsalted [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] microwave for :08 to spread WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[/ QUOTE ]

It may console you to know that you are not alone. According to a survey by the National Dairy Council, butter related strife is the number 11 reason relationships end. The only other dairy product to crack the top 20 was ice cream, coming in at 18, although there was a strong showing among male respondents for yogurt. Specifically that "fat free fake sugar crap girls eat".

What can you do to make your relationship safe? The NDC recommends that you STOP buying margarine, DROP the topic, and ROLL around on the floor licking real sweet butter off of each other's nipples. (The Surgeon General drew criticism from dairy farmers by issuing a recommendation that people in good relationships switch to heart healthy and super-flavorful extra virgin olive oil. Legions of Rachael Ray fans are preparing demonstrations in support of the AG.)

[DrewDevil]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
VR,

You're really speaking to me here. Butter-related conflict has been the irresistible force that has torn my relationships in two, time and time again. Not just with women, but with friends, family, and even in the workplace. [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] Land O' Lakes [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] unsalted [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] microwave for :08 to spread WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[/ QUOTE ]

It may console you to know that you are not alone. According to a survey by the National Dairy Council, butter related strife is the number 11 reason relationships end. The only other dairy product to crack the top 20 was ice cream, coming in at 18, although there was a strong showing among male respondents for yogurt. Specifically that "fat free fake sugar crap girls eat".

What can you do to make your relationship safe? The NDC recommends that you STOP buying margarine, DROP the topic, and ROLL around on the floor licking real sweet butter off of each other's nipples. (The Surgeon General drew criticism from dairy farmers by issuing a recommendation that people in good relationships switch to heart healthy and super-flavorful extra virgin olive oil. Legions of Rachael Ray fans are preparing demonstrations in support of the AG.)

[/ QUOTE ]

I am horrified and aroused at the same time.

[Hey_Porter]

[ QUOTE ]
I also think that people are being a bit hard on OP on the "why did you propose thing". There comes a point at which marriage starts to seem like the thing to do. That's a tipping point for a lot of relationships.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is understandable, however, the OP is kind of laughable. "Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)", and then describes how he had "major doubts about the relationship" from the beginning and NEVER felt a spark? Yea, if you get yourself into an engagement with that kind of history, like the OP you might also want to consider breaking off the engagement. Nothing too deep or interesting there. There's a point where marriage seems like the thing to do, but if you have/had the same feelings as the OP about the relationship, that's the time to break up, not propose. Most people get this.

OP wasn't fair to his fiance, not because he broke off the engagement (at that point it was obviously the right decision), but because, by his own admission, he knew from the beginning she wasn't "the one." Proposing while still knowing this was selfish, and unfair to the girl.

[otnemem]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I also think that people are being a bit hard on OP on the "why did you propose thing". There comes a point at which marriage starts to seem like the thing to do. That's a tipping point for a lot of relationships.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is understandable, however, the OP is kind of laughable. "Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)", and then describes how he had "major doubts about the relationship" from the beginning and NEVER felt a spark? Yea, if you get yourself into an engagement with that kind of history, like the OP you might also want to consider breaking off the engagement. Nothing too deep or interesting there. There's a point where marriage seems like the thing to do, but if you have/had the same feelings as the OP about the relationship, that's the time to break up, not propose. Most people get this.

OP wasn't fair to his fiance, not because he broke off the engagement (at that point it was obviously the right decision), but because, by his own admission, he knew from the beginning she wasn't "the one." Proposing while still knowing this was selfish, and unfair to the girl.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is all true, but I think more people find themselves in this situation than you give credit, and it's not always easy to leave the relationship, even if it seems like the most obvious choice on earth.

[Hey_Porter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I also think that people are being a bit hard on OP on the "why did you propose thing". There comes a point at which marriage starts to seem like the thing to do. That's a tipping point for a lot of relationships.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is understandable, however, the OP is kind of laughable. "Ask me about breaking my engagement (and why maybe you should too)", and then describes how he had "major doubts about the relationship" from the beginning and NEVER felt a spark? Yea, if you get yourself into an engagement with that kind of history, like the OP you might also want to consider breaking off the engagement. Nothing too deep or interesting there. There's a point where marriage seems like the thing to do, but if you have/had the same feelings as the OP about the relationship, that's the time to break up, not propose. Most people get this.

OP wasn't fair to his fiance, not because he broke off the engagement (at that point it was obviously the right decision), but because, by his own admission, he knew from the beginning she wasn't "the one." Proposing while still knowing this was selfish, and unfair to the girl.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is all true, but I think more people find themselves in this situation than you give credit, and it's not always easy to leave the relationship, even if it seems like the most obvious choice on earth.

[/ QUOTE ]

That could be true, as I often find myself underestimating the selfishness and lack of common sense that exists among the human race.

[jtr]

Otnemem, no offence meant, but in the context of this thread, your avatar takes on a disturbing new layer of meaning.

[otnemem]

[ QUOTE ]
That could be true, as I often find myself underestimating the selfishness and lack of common sense that exists among the human race.

[/ QUOTE ]
A lot of my decisions were selfish and lacking in common sense, but at the time I thought I had rational justifications for staying in the relationship. Like I said in the OP, I felt like maybe the spark/passion wasn't important, since I found someone who I have so much in common with and who I enjoy spending time with. It wasn't like I despised her and just kept the relationship going so I wouldn't be lonely. The decision to end things was really [censored] difficult, because I identified so many good things in our relationship. It wasn't until after breaking up with her that I realized how right the decision was.

The other thing I did was continue to convince myself that the passionate connection was something that would develop later. Obviously, that's [censored].

I guess my point is that you're sort of being an [censored], ignoring every aspect of the situation that doesn't label me a selfish piece of [censored].

[Anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
VR,

You're really speaking to me here. Butter-related conflict has been the irresistible force that has torn my relationships in two, time and time again. Not just with women, but with friends, family, and even in the workplace. [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] Land O' Lakes [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] unsalted [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] microwave for :08 to spread WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[/ QUOTE ]

It may console you to know that you are not alone. According to a survey by the National Dairy Council, butter related strife is the number 11 reason relationships end. The only other dairy product to crack the top 20 was ice cream, coming in at 18, although there was a strong showing among male respondents for yogurt. Specifically that "fat free fake sugar crap girls eat".

What can you do to make your relationship safe? The NDC recommends that you STOP buying margarine, DROP the topic, and ROLL around on the floor licking real sweet butter off of each other's nipples. (The Surgeon General drew criticism from dairy farmers by issuing a recommendation that people in good relationships switch to heart healthy and super-flavorful extra virgin olive oil. Legions of Rachael Ray fans are preparing demonstrations in support of the AG.)

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

I would like to again point out, as I believe I already have a time or two, that I have fallen hopelessly for you.

Be... still! My... foolish... heart.

[Aloysius]

VR - some unsolicited advice regarding the above post:



-Al