wife is a cheater...best way to get into her email acct - Page 11

uberoval · #**101** 08-23-2007, 11:39 PM

"UB,

Sorry you had to go through this crap too. I do have a couple of questions: Was your wife considered a "good girl" i.e. not into drinking and partying? How long did her affair go on before you found out? Did she confess or did you catch her? Read this: my wife was 100% like this."

I did not see this coming in the slightest. Sure we had problems just like most couples do but the clincher was that when she found out she was pregant(for sure mine B/T/W)
she thought she was going to be tied down forever to me, LDO. She confessed the day after she left for her "trip" that she did not go with "the girls". Funny thing was that we double dated with her boss and his wife just the weekend before. She continued with her affair for a few months after that weekend then we decided to stay together until my son was born so when we would divorce it would be easier on both of us when it came to taking care of the kids. She continued the affair off and on but it didn't matter to me to much because i knew what was going to happen in the short run.

slim · #**102** 08-24-2007, 12:02 AM

[ QUOTE ]
"UB,

Sorry you had to go through this crap too. I do have a couple of questions: Was your wife considered a "good girl" i.e. not into drinking and partying? How long did her affair go on before you found out? Did she confess or did you catch her? Read this: my wife was 100% like this."

I did not see this coming in the slightest. Sure we had problems just like most couples do but the clincher was that when she found out she was pregant(for sure mine B/T/W)
she thought she was going to be tied down forever to me, LDO. She confessed the day after she left for her "trip" that she did not go with "the girls". Funny thing was that we double dated with her boss and his wife just the weekend before. She continued with her affair for a few months after that weekend then we decided to stay together until my son was born so when we would divorce it would be easier on both of us when it came to taking care of the kids. She continued the affair off and on but it didn't matter to me to much because i knew what was going to happen in the short run.

[/ QUOTE ]

The prick who was my wife's boss was at our wedding 8 yrs ago [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

kyleb · #**103** 08-24-2007, 01:15 AM

This is why you need iron-clad prenups with both lawyers present.

Sorry, slim.

Man Our Units · #**104** 08-24-2007, 02:37 AM

1. Dont sign papers.
2. Brainwash twins against her.
3. ???
4. Profit.

JoeFTL · #**105** 08-24-2007, 02:41 AM

Have sex with the man she cheated on you with and see how she likes it.

N 82 50 24 · #**106** 08-24-2007, 04:09 AM

I went through something kinda similar pretty recently with a girlfriend that I lived with. Lots of similarities -- difference being that we weren't married and hadn't spend years together.

That being said, reading a lot of this is making me pretty skeptical about being able to find someone that I can trust. I'd never been cheated on before and, after having it happen in a very ugly manner, I can't imagine going through it again. I'm going to be really really careful with any girl that I get serious with from here on out.

And there's zero shot I get married without a pre-nup. I have way too much to lose to ever make this potential headache worth it.

Sorry to hear about you guys going through this stuff, I know how tough it is w/ a girlfriend and I can't even imagine it with a wife and kids involved.

ilya · #**107** 08-24-2007, 04:15 AM

[ QUOTE ]
slim,

I am sorry to hear of your misfortune. I know that a revelation like this from someone who you have trusted is devastating. You want to hurt her. You don't care who you hurt, you just want to lash out in retribution for the pain that you feel. You want to know every detail, who is he, what does he do, why does she need him when she has you, what do they talk about, everything.

Stop it. Just stop it right now. Forget about her email. If she leaves her computer unattended with the email logged in don't read it. If she prints them out and hands them to you don't read them. You'll just be torturing yourself, and this is the time when you need to be at your best, not your worst.

It's her. You are not deficient in some meaningful way. You are not flawed. She chose to lie to you because of her. Now make sure that you do not waste time lying to yourself.

[/ QUOTE ]

OTOH it's possible that it IS his fault

microbet · #**108** 08-24-2007, 04:38 AM

Disgusting. She started cheating when you had twin 1 year olds.

If you kick that dude's ass and I'm on the jury in the assault case there'll be some jury nullification going on.

People may think the woman is all to blame, but anyone who sleeps with the married mother of small children deserves at least a hell of an ass whooping.

And Ilya, if there's something so wrong with him she should have gotten a divorce, not cheated for 2 years.

Fedorfan · #**109** 08-24-2007, 04:47 AM

slim,

I have a very cynical view of marriage because i already kind of see marriage and relationships like you described, and yet I'm 26 and never been engaged or married myself.

Would you say that given how society views women in general today, combined with the whole equality and double standards in the typical male/female relationship, as basically setting up women to be unhappy? and imo when women are unhappy men are unhappy as a result. It seems that what women are told to want in terms of equality and how they should be treated as "strong independent" women is at odds with how they should be treated so as to be actually happy in a relationship. You mentioned earlier the whole theory of how you can trace the rise in female infidelity and also i would assume increase in divorce rates to the change in society where now most women have real careers after marriage.

I personally don't see why guys would want to marry a career women, one who works late often, always trying to get ahead or travels a lot. In my personal first hand observations of other marriages that worked or didn't, seem loving or mundane; it seems that the ones where the couples seem to have lasted decades and still seem actually happy and in love, the women have non demanding careers or stay at home... but that's just my perspective so far of course.

Bond18 · #**110** 08-24-2007, 05:40 AM

Fedorfan,

I completely agree. If there is one thing that would really disqualify a woman for serious relationship consideration, it would be her having a very demanding/time consuming career. Some would call our types blatant chauvinists, and those people are simply short sighted morons. Is it chauvinist to want to be able to spend more time with your GF/wife at home? Or to not have to worry about her being tired/stressed from work?

I think not.