BEAT: HAVING A POKERSTARS GIRLFRIEND

[Hrkac]

so last night i was waiting for my ambien to kick in before i went to sleep so i was hit and running micro tables. i took one sucker for $1.15 (brag). then i was searching for my next victim, and found a guy sitting out at a .02/.04 table. there was a ton of chat in the box so i checked it out, and he was having some really lameass conversation with this girl. it's a really long boring chatlog so i'll just give you the highlights:

IT BEGINS

justalady42 [observer]: hi
GREMLIN_SB: hiya honey
justalady42 [observer]: why are you ignoring me all night?
GREMLIN_SB: I'm not babe, I had lots of tables
GREMLIN_SB: and my stomach is sore
justalady42 [observer]: you were when at ONLY ONE table.......
justalady42 [observer]: and sowwwwy for tummy
justalady42 [observer]: you need to go get some sleep
GREMLIN_SB: in maybe 20 minutes
GREMLIN_SB: I need some time with you first
justalady42 [observer]: then don't ignore me grrrrrrrrrrr
GREMLIN_SB: I'm sorry darlin

apparently the dude has said he "wants" her but hasn't even seen a picture or anything, lol

justalady42 [observer]: you dont know that
GREMLIN_SB: I do
justalady42 [observer]: but it was nice to hear anyway
justalady42 [observer]: no you dont
justalady42 [observer]: want is based on attraction, for MEN...... and you've not seen me
GREMLIN_SB: well I'm pretty darn sure
GREMLIN_SB: for e iit's based on personality
GREMLIN_SB: for me*
justalady42 [observer]: LOL all men say that..... none mean it
GREMLIN_SB: well, it's up to me to prove it
justalady42 [observer]: I am in a unique position.........
GREMLIN_SB: I know sweetie
justalady42 [observer]: a very unique position........

At this point i almost said "SPREAD EAGLE?" and ruined the bit, but someone else sat down and they moved tables. So I followed.

justalady42 [observer]: I wont let you see me, not like this
GREMLIN_SB: Brenda....
justalady42 [observer]: yes.........
GREMLIN_SB: shhhhhhhhh
justalady42 [observer]: I am serious
GREMLIN_SB: you have touched my heart.... I need to touch your hand
GREMLIN_SB: so we'll ALWAYS know
justalady42 [observer]: I wont see you like this...... but we are getting ahead of ourselves.....
justalady42 [observer]: as of now, your still taken
GREMLIN_SB: by Thanksgiving or sooner I won't be

lol adulteraments

GREMLIN_SB: I Love You
GREMLIN_SB: yes read
justalady42 [observer]: awwwwwww
justalady42 [observer]: stop that
justalady42 [observer]: I love you too Steve
justalady42 [observer]: but stop that
GREMLIN_SB: and ANYTHING I can do, wil be done if you only ASK
GREMLIN_SB: I mean that so totally
justalady42 [observer]: then accept me
justalady42 [observer]: as I am
GREMLIN_SB: I do
justalady42 [observer]: no you don't, you've not seen

note the giant hints she is dropping that she is fugly. but somehow they fight through that, and the sexual tension (along with the unbearable mushiness between these lepers) is through the roof.

justalady42 [observer]: ~~ lick lick~~ LOL
GREMLIN_SB: KISSSES on your neck
justalady42 [observer]: heyyyyy stop that, no fair
GREMLIN_SB: with my arm around your shoulders
justalady42 [observer]: lol
justalady42 [observer]: heyyyyy
GREMLIN_SB: and with my heart
justalady42 [observer]: awwwwwwwww
GREMLIN_SB: beating like a drum
justalady42 [observer]: dream sweet my love.....
GREMLIN_SB: a rythym that time will never stop
justalady42 [observer]: awwwwwww
GREMLIN_SB: Brenda
justalady42 [observer]: your a charmer
justalady42 [observer]: steve
GREMLIN_SB: I don't cry very often, I used a lfe of tears in 96
justalady42 [observer]: I cant even imagine
GREMLIN_SB: but I get close now thinking
justalady42 [observer]: dont cry for me
GREMLIN_SB: you are precious in my heart and soul
GREMLIN_SB: I cry for US
justalady42 [observer]: as you are in mine
GREMLIN_SB: forever
justalady42 [observer]: awwwwwww

ugh jesus christ

ustalady42 [observer]: hugs and kisses
GREMLIN_SB: for you
GREMLIN_SB: ANYHING
justalady42 [observer]: awwwww
GREMLIN_SB: hugs and kisses
justalady42 [observer]: ni nite my heart.....
GREMLIN_SB: smoochies and licks
justalady42 [observer]: lol
justalady42 [observer]: more more more
GREMLIN_SB: and a pat on the rear too [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
justalady42 [observer]: lol
justalady42 [observer]: heyyyyy

DO THEY HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO HAVE CYBERSEX AT A EMPTY PS .02/.04 TABLE??????????

justalady42 [observer]: cant go patting the butt on your way to sleep
justalady42 [observer]: no fair
justalady42 [observer]: lol
GREMLIN_SB: well then I'll stay awake and follow ALL the way through
justalady42 [observer]: lol
justalady42 [observer]: with ps watching?
justalady42 [observer]: nottttttttt
justalady42 [observer]: lol
GREMLIN_SB: well I'll take that flight for 100 please Alex
justalady42 [observer]: lol
GREMLIN_SB: FIXxxxxx MSN
justalady42 [observer]: yeppppppppppp
justalady42 [observer]: BINGO
GREMLIN_SB: and then we'll rock and rolllllllllllllllll
justalady42 [observer]: ok am going, so you will sleep
GREMLIN_SB: can't sleep
GREMLIN_SB: too hard
justalady42 [observer]: lol
justalady42 [observer]: too hard?????? or too hard to sleep?
GREMLIN_SB: by the ay did you need the tissues?
GREMLIN_SB: former
justalady42 [observer]: wow
justalady42 [observer]: stop that
justalady42 [observer]: this is not private
GREMLIN_SB: jeans are damn tight
GREMLIN_SB: okies

he is "up" for it clearly but gets shot down!

so next time you are having some problems with the ladies, remember that at least you aren't trying to get your poontang off of internet poker sites.