Another Girlfriend Trouble Thread

[steve_blaze]

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If he's in Washington I wouldn't worry too much. Unless she's going to Washington, and has an excuse to see him. And feels suffocated by your jealousy and melodrama.

So yeah, I would worry.

NT

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This is the correct answer.

[Felix_Nietzsche]

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The girl is going to cheat on you. It's not even close. Hire a PI or something to follow her around in WA, take pictures, confront her, then send it in to a TV show or something

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At the minimum she is feeding her ego at the expense of this other guy. For many women (and guys!), it is a heady experience to have stable of guys(harem of girls) interested in them. At worst she is having an affair on you. You have not given enough info for me to make an educated guess but it is DEFINATELY NOT a healthy sign for you relationship.

The problem is she has been talking to this guy behind your back and obvious several times to where her parents know that this guy calls. This is a problem. You need to nip this in the bud FAST. With regards to women, I'm a prick (aka former nice guy who has had his heart stomped into jelly one too many times) so my play is rather harsh. So I prefer to follow the Julius Caesar method for handling women that are behaving too secretive*.

Get her 1 on 1 in a quiet environment (coffee shops are my fav). Get settled. And in a very FIRM and serious way look her in the eye and tell her;
"We need to talk. I like being with you...BUT....we have a problem and I don't see a way out(long pause). You have been talking to XXX behind my back and I don't like you talking to XXX. A women that is in a monogous relationship does not act the way YOU DO. I'm having MAJOR TRUST issues with you right now and I have decided I'm NOT GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE feeling paranoid that you are seeing this guy behind my back. I'm not going to live my life that way wondering. It is not fair to me and I have to do what is going to make me happy and I'm NOT happy with you seeing people behind my back whether it is innocent or not.... And right now what would make ME happy is if we started seeing new people (then SHUT UP)...." <If you tell her this say it VERY SLOW and deliberately. Like your trying to draw it out. If she interupts, say STOP, I'm not finished and keep talking.>

Now this is where you need to get a tell on her. After you finish, SHUT UP and let her talk. Her reaction will let you know where you stand with her. If she starts groveling then you may be able to salvage things. If she is sad and accepts it then your relationship was in the process of dying a slow death so better for both of you to kill it now. Besides doing this will increase your chance of ex-sex EXPONENTIONALLY... What [censored] up most guys heads is not knowing where they stand when women send them mixed messages. The bold-balls-to-the-wall-str8-at-them talk leaves them no place to BS you. ***If*** she gets pissed and starts bitching at you, look her in the eye and say (again), "Your not acting like a woman in a monogomous relationship and I deserve more than your giving me." Repeat the is statement multiple times if she continues to give you grief. I doubt this will happen because she won't see the premtive break-up coming and will probably be in shock (unless she is screwing this guy and then she will be relieved)... End the coffee date QUICKLY!!! Don't linger!!!

This may sound harsh but you will find out where you stand FAST. You just need to have a pair-of-balls and follow through if she accepts the breakup. This kind of plays are HUGE confidence boosters for guys. The WRONG WAY to handle this is to give an ultimatem. 'If you don't stop talking to xxx then I'm going to break up with you' = WEAK !!!!

This advice is probably like casting pearls to swine but for a 40 year old with a gut, I do pretty well. If you are like 95% of other guys you will balk at this advice and have to learn your lessons the hard way...

PS
*Julius Caesar's wife was accused of not being faithful to him. Caesar, who have evidence she was innocent, divorced his wife saying, "A Caesar's wife should be above suspician". Caesar was a little hypocritical because he was infamous for screwing every good looking women he saw even if they were slaves... [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

PPS
That show Cheaters rocks!!!

[kyleb]

Wow.

Great advice. Definitely bookmarking this.

[Five-Star]

How did this thread get bumped? I mean seriously, someone please explain it to me

[Pudge714]

People who lose this thread,
Anyone who referenced Friends

People who win this thread,
Private Joker, Skunkworks, OP for taking criticsm and not flipping out.

Although depending on what happened in Washington OP might lose this thread.

[tboss888]

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How did this thread get bumped? I mean seriously, someone please explain it to me

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Thats easy, I was searching for something else, came across this thread, read through it and was curious as to whether the girl banged the ex in washington. Its like reruns, "if you haven't seen it, its new to you!"

[Bluffoon]

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So for future reference, asking a girlfriend to not talk/hang out with past people she slept with is not ok?

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That's not the way you handle it.

If your girlfriend is behaving in ways that are making you uncomfortable and jealous then you tell them how you feel about it. If they continue then they don't give a [censored] about your feelings and you dump them.

Rinse and repeat.

If you look back and see that you have dumped a string of girlfriends over this type of issue you go to therapy for a while and then you try again.

Ugh old thread. well its still good advice.