jokes you've made IRL that flopped

[MelchyBeau]

[ QUOTE ]
last night we're drinking and playing kings. someone draws a 10 for categories and my buddy ryan picks mls teams. since nobody cares about soccer, the round is over in like 3 people when one of my friends says "the wildfire." friend says that the wildfire are a team, but he forgets what city. everyone starts trying to figure out what city it would be...

ryan- la?
friend 1- chicago?
me with a huge smile on my face- san diego?

silence. felt like an ass.

(btw it was the chicago fire)

[/ QUOTE ]

I laughed and I live in SD

[Vacant]

[ QUOTE ]
last night we're drinking and playing kings. someone draws a 10 for categories and my buddy ryan picks mls teams. since nobody cares about soccer, the round is over in like 3 people when one of my friends says "the wildfire." friend says that the wildfire are a team, but he forgets what city. everyone starts trying to figure out what city it would be...

ryan- la?
friend 1- chicago?
me with a huge smile on my face- san diego?

silence. felt like an ass.

(btw it was the chicago fire)

[/ QUOTE ]

rofl.Thats gold!



i dont get people being offended by jokes like that.

[JaredL]

[ QUOTE ]
last night we're drinking and playing kings. someone draws a 10 for categories and my buddy ryan picks mls teams. since nobody cares about soccer, the round is over in like 3 people when one of my friends says "the wildfire." friend says that the wildfire are a team, but he forgets what city. everyone starts trying to figure out what city it would be...

ryan- la?
friend 1- chicago?
me with a huge smile on my face- san diego?

silence. felt like an ass.

(btw it was the chicago fire)

[/ QUOTE ]

Granted it was in the 1800s but the Fire are named after a fire in Chicago that was significantly worse than the fires going in California now.

[prohornblower]

Sonic drive-ins inexplicably advertise Bags of Ice for $1.99 or whatever. Everytime I go there I find this funny.

One time I placed my order and was like "..and can I get 2 bags of ice, one with mustard, the other with mayo..." "......You need a bag of ice, sir?" ".........no...nevermind...no, that'll be it. Thanks."

He got the last laugh though, as when I got home I noticed he had placed an ice cube in my taters. Soggy Taters. PWN3D.

[The Man]

To be honest, I have no idea if this even fits but I will say it anyway. And for the record, It would be pretty funny if it flopped, because then I made a joke on 2+2 that flopped in a thread about jokes that flopped. Ok

Im pretty dorky, and pretty nice and during high school my teachers never really thought of me as a 'hooligan.' even though those were who I hung out with. When I was in european history we were doing a report about concentration camps in the library, and we had computers there. Without telling anyone I made a word file all in bold italics and caps NERVE GAS IS FOR KIDS I printed it out, and didn't tell anyone in my group about it. About 5 minutes later my teacher comes right over to our group (because it was pretty obv it was one of us) and she started yelling at us, but since I am nice I didn't get blamed. A friend of mine got in trouble and was dealt with only because he couldn't stop laughing at the paper the teacher was holding.

[Haydn]

One time, Vivaldi heckled me at one of my concerts and everyone laughed. So the next day at his concert, I detuned that bitch's violin. No one thought it was funny. I just sat there in my balcony laughing.

[nath]

[ QUOTE ]
One time, Vivaldi heckled me at one of my concerts and everyone laughed. So the next day at his concert, I detuned that bitch's violin. No one thought it was funny. I just sat there in my balcony laughing.

[/ QUOTE ]
rofl wtf

[jonnyd]

[ QUOTE ]
One time, Vivaldi heckled me at one of my concerts and everyone laughed. So the next day at his concert, I detuned that bitch's violin. No one thought it was funny. I just sat there in my balcony laughing.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol A+ gimmick

[sards]

This is more of a prank than a joke but I'll tell it anyway. Cliff's notes at bottom.

When I was in high school, I was sort of a computer nerd. One day I was at school after hours hanging out with a couple of friends - I think we were there for a basketball game and got there early or something - and we decided to wander around the school while nobody was around. We got to the school library and one of my friends told me that I should "put a virus" on the library computers. This sounded like a great idea so I fired up QBasic and wrote a quick program that printed text that stated that the computer was infested by demons that were brought upon the library by the Satanic influence of Mrs. Ward, the school librarian. (Keep in mind that this was a private Christian school so it was topical...) The program then went into an infinite loop, making really obnoxious sounds on the PC speaker. It only took me about 2 minutes. I then added a line to the AUTOEXEC.BAT file to cause the "virus" to run when the computer started up. We then went back to the basketball game or whatever.

The next day at school, there was a big commotion in the library. My classmates and I stepped out of class to see what was happenning. I saw Mrs. Ward in tears, wildly mumbling to herself while the principal tried to console her. Turns out she was mentally unstable and what I thought was a light-hearted prank pushed her over the edge. She took a leave of absence from the school and didn't come back until the following school year. I felt really terrible about it, but nobody ever found out that I did it.

Also, it was amusing to me that it took the school "computer expert" several hours to figure out how to get rid of the "virus." All you had to do was press Ctrl-C to exit the program and then edit the AUTOEXEC.BAT file. Whatever.

Cliff's notes: I wrote a computer program that caused the school librarian to have a mental breakdown.

[DavidC]

[ QUOTE ]
This is more of a prank than a joke but I'll tell it anyway. Cliff's notes at bottom.

When I was in high school, I was sort of a computer nerd. One day I was at school after hours hanging out with a couple of friends - I think we were there for a basketball game and got there early or something - and we decided to wander around the school while nobody was around. We got to the school library and one of my friends told me that I should "put a virus" on the library computers. This sounded like a great idea so I fired up QBasic and wrote a quick program that printed text that stated that the computer was infested by demons that were brought upon the library by the Satanic influence of Mrs. Ward, the school librarian. (Keep in mind that this was a private Christian school so it was topical...) The program then went into an infinite loop, making really obnoxious sounds on the PC speaker. It only took me about 2 minutes. I then added a line to the AUTOEXEC.BAT file to cause the "virus" to run when the computer started up. We then went back to the basketball game or whatever.

The next day at school, there was a big commotion in the library. My classmates and I stepped out of class to see what was happenning. I saw Mrs. Ward in tears, wildly mumbling to herself while the principal tried to console her. Turns out she was mentally unstable and what I thought was a light-hearted prank pushed her over the edge. She took a leave of absence from the school and didn't come back until the following school year. I felt really terrible about it, but nobody ever found out that I did it.

Also, it was amusing to me that it took the school "computer expert" several hours to figure out how to get rid of the "virus." All you had to do was press Ctrl-C to exit the program and then edit the AUTOEXEC.BAT file. Whatever.

Cliff's notes: I wrote a computer program that caused the school librarian to have a mental breakdown.

[/ QUOTE ]

You sir, use your powers for the forces of Awesome.