this girl is being ridiculous, right?

[rutang]

you think it'd be "good to get to know her better and hopefully get to like her better" but she's clearly trying to pick a fight with you from the get go. Don't play her game. she wants to drive a wedge between you and your GF. show you're a better "man" than her, but there is no reason to try and befriend her. It seems like everyone thinks the play is to not be around the entire time.

This does leave the "friend" lots of alone time with your GF, some of which will be used to attack you, but you handling this properly will be a bigger help than staying around for her to bait you into arguments.

[guids]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
He's functionally a live in boyfriend in this case, it would seem. That he pays rent and has a bed somewhere else shouldn't really matter if he's sleeping in her bed all the time.

[/ QUOTE ]

This strikes me as an interesting comment, because from my standpoint, it's not the same thing at all.

Staying over all the time is a completely different stage of a relationship than splitting bills and signing a lease together. Some couples stay over all the time after they've been dating a month. The one time I've lived with someone full-time, it was a significantly more serious relationship.

Am I just out of the ordinary on this?

[/ QUOTE ]



I agree, its usually the women who think functionally live in, is the same as actually living together. IE "well, we are basically living together anywaaaaays....I might as well just move all the way in!" Its usually about this time the dude freaks out and cheats on her.

[Dids]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
He's functionally a live in boyfriend in this case, it would seem. That he pays rent and has a bed somewhere else shouldn't really matter if he's sleeping in her bed all the time.

[/ QUOTE ]

This strikes me as an interesting comment, because from my standpoint, it's not the same thing at all.

Staying over all the time is a completely different stage of a relationship than splitting bills and signing a lease together. Some couples stay over all the time after they've been dating a month. The one time I've lived with someone full-time, it was a significantly more serious relationship.

Am I just out of the ordinary on this?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't disagree with you, but that's not really the issue here. There's a big difference between living together and always sleeping over, but in terms of the friend's request, she's displacing him from where it seems he sleeps every night, and she should at least understand that.

[Zurvan]

If his gf wanted him to be around all weekend, she would have told her friend to bite it, and she was sleeping on the couch. She's using her friend & this sleeping on the couch thing as a way to tell him to go away for a while.

[Aloysius]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
He's functionally a live in boyfriend in this case, it would seem. That he pays rent and has a bed somewhere else shouldn't really matter if he's sleeping in her bed all the time.

[/ QUOTE ]

This strikes me as an interesting comment, because from my standpoint, it's not the same thing at all.

Staying over all the time is a completely different stage of a relationship than splitting bills and signing a lease together. Some couples stay over all the time after they've been dating a month. The one time I've lived with someone full-time, it was a significantly more serious relationship.

Am I just out of the ordinary on this?

[/ QUOTE ]

Nope see my post earlier in the thread. I think it's because I've been in both situations also (gf who I just stayed over all the time / gf where we split the bills and we actually lived together) that I see a material difference.

That being said lol @ psychoanalyzing OP, his girlfriend, and the friend. How is this a big deal overthinking it is so not worth it. It's a couple days. Maybe this is her way of telling OP "I want some alone time with my friend" - really doubt it's a sign she's some crazy passive-aggressive weak-willed person. Or that OP is p-whipped.

Whatever happens I don't think it means much wrt the relationship. Also sounds like OP is a nice guy and while the request is silly, he just wants to make his gf happy and is venting a bit.

-Al

[DrewDevil]

Listen, I understand that simply saying nothing and sleeping on the couch is the smoothest way to handle things and avoids conflict, but I don't agree that this is an insignificant matter, and I'm not a person who just lets people do assholish things and get away with it.

At the very least, I would let GF know that her friend is being a bitch, or at least a spoiled princess.

[Aloysius]

DD - I think this situation falls under the header "learn to pick your spots". I mean who cares it's a couple days? If the gf is actually a bitch (and the friend is also) there are clearly more optimal ways to handle her going-forward. Creating a lot of drama and ruining the weekend is not really the best line.

-Al

[kazana]

[ QUOTE ]
This is absolutely it though. Of course the guy shouldn't be intruding, and should have offered to stay at his own place anyways...but the fact that she demands it is out of line and makes him look weak now. And we all know she did it on purpose. THAT'S why its so bad

[/ QUOTE ]
So what's the big deal? Let her have the bed, you weren't planning on using it anyway. Even if she wanted to use it against you it doesn't matter.

Suddenly getting stubborn over a bed you weren't planning on using, just because her friend might be trying to make you look bad, is like you trying to start a fight with a dog in the park over who's going to sniff that pile of crap in the corner first.

[tagtastic]

The solution here is pretty obvious.

Take the couch (or go back to your place and sleep) with no complaints. Then a couple weeks/months in the future, invite a female friend of yours over for the weekend and request your gf sleep on the couch because this friend wants the bed with you.

[4_2_it]

[ QUOTE ]
The solution here is pretty obvious.

Take the couch (or go back to your place and sleep) with no complaints. Then a couple weeks/months in the future, invite a female friend of yours over for the weekend and request your gf sleep on the couch because this friend wants the bed with you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not suggesting a 3-some in this scenario might be ban worthy. Can Sam or Daryn give us a ruling?