Beat: Fat roommate and his fat girlfriend put me on tilt

[evazan]

I need help controlling this rare form of tilt that arises whenever I am playing poker while my fat roommate and his fat girlfriend are in the room. I walked into my room today and the gf was sleeping on his bed and I began playing. The effect doesn't kick in until their together.

So I'm up some BB's playing solid when roommate walks into the room and lays on top of girl. When I say lay on top of her I don't mean like a normal person would lay on top of their girlfriend. He just goes on top of her, puts his legs spread eagle, and doesn't support any of his weight. I don't know how she doesn't suffocate. He then remains in this position for about 15 minutes and neither of them move or say anything.



At this point I feel the tilt starting to come. I am trying to concentrate but every once in a while a strange noise emanates from their general direction and I can only speculate as to what its origins are.

Now about half the money I've made this session is gone and I'm starting to lose even more. This is when they do something which they often do. My dorm room is a suite with a bathroom connecting the two rooms. They both get up and walk into the bathroom together. Now if they were just going in there to sex up it would be disturbing enough but what they do do is even worse. They are in there for about 1 minute then the toilet flushes and they walk out. I don't know if one of them needs to hold the others butt cheeks open while the other one wipes because i don't know how fat people wipe their butts but regardless, I am now on super tilt. I have lost three buyins in under an hour by the time fat girl has to leave. Now that I am alone again either miraculously or expectedly I proceed to win back everything I lost in the next hour. I am making incredible reads and great lay downs. Unfurtunetly after I broke even I had an episode of post traumatic fat syndrome and lost a couple hands but If you add bonus and rakeback I ended the horrible experience back at about where I was before roommate came.

Here is a graph detailing this session: