Jokes so bad they are funny

[als33]

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an architect?



One molests children, the other designs buildings.

[pahala]

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with. And you can carry your groceries in the other.

[pahala]

A panda bear walks into Pizza Hut, orders a pizza and sits down. Once he's finished eating he looks at the bill and starts to walk out. The manager tries to stop him, saying "Hey, you didn't pay your bill!". The panda pulls out a gun and shoots the manager and two other people. The workers are terrified and ask the panda wtf is he doing. Panda gives them a dictionary and turns the page to "Panda bear".

It says "Small black and white bear, native to Asia. Eats shoots and leaves."

[Fishmonger]

A monastery is having financial troubles so they decide to start operating a fish and chip shop, which becomes quite popular. One day a guy comes looking for some food but isn't sure if they are open s he knocks on the door. One of the holy men opens the door.

"Are you the fish friar?"

"No, I'm the chip monk."

[JohnAndersen]

Q: Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party?

A: He heard they have a tight seal!






get it, like the animal???

[fitnessfreak]

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What do you call a midget fortuneteller who escaped from prison?

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A small medium at large

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this is actually pretty clever.

[lyncks2002]

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Two crocodiles were flying above the Pacific. Suddenly the one in the middle says: WTF we've been flying for a week and it's still Friday!!!


a fly gets accidentally into a horse's ass. when it wanted to get out, the horse left.

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Yeah, I did not get either of these two at all. Like, I actually don't understand what's going on.

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yeah they are way funnier when you listen to them being told be a comedian.
the one first one has funny things in it: crocodiles flying, then there are two of them and still there's a one in middle and also he says he has been flying for 1 week and it's still friday which is obv.
the other one is just so stupid that should make you laugh, like a fly gets into the horse's ass but it cant get out cause the horse aint there, again the huge stupidity is funny [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]



and a joke:
the chief cannibal's wife dies and he wants to cremate her cause you know, she was the chief's wife.
in the first night of mourning, the other cannibals:
"Chief, please a leg, we are hungry"
"No, bastards"
second night:
"chief, please an arm, we are really hungry"
"no, bastards"
the third day they cremate her and the other cannibals go to the chief:
WTF DO YOU WANT NOW, SHE IS DEAD!!!
"well, can we make at least a nice coffee out of her?"



WHAT IS THE BEST POSSIBLE DISPLAY OF TRUST?
To let a cannibal woman give you a [censored]


and a really sick one:
how are the cannibal babies borned?
they eat the woman around them

[Kilillan]

A man walks into a bar and says "OUCH"

[cisco_kid]

How do you get a clown off a swing?





























Hit it in the face with an axe.

[sputum]

"My wife phoned me just before the show, and she said, "I've got water in the carburettor." I said, "where's the car?" she said, "in the river."

I bought some HP sauce the other day.
It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.