Friend that's a girl expects me to pay for drinks, awkwardness ensues.

[J.A.K.]

[ QUOTE ]
I said that your behavior is completely non-standard, and it's silly to be shocked when people interpret weird stuff like that differently than you intend. Your friends reacted in the most normal way possible, which was to go wtf?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not following the above. I don't think it's weird to treat some friend's to lunch. And you say it's silly to be shocked but then say it's normal for my friends to be like "wtf"...they were saying wtf about the girl's reaction.

Also, I didn't mean that YOU thought I had ulterior motives, I just thought you were lending legitimacy to an inappropriate reaction.

[Blarg]

Picking up the tab is not a common courtesy. Opening the door or saying gesundheit when someone sneezes is a common courtesy.

In fact it is neither common NOR a courtesy to either pay people's bills nor for them to expect you to pay them.

[J.A.K.]

[ QUOTE ]
Picking up the tab is not a common courtesy. Opening the door or saying gesundheit when someone sneezes is a common courtesy.

In fact it is neither common NOR a courtesy to either pay people's bills nor for them to expect you to pay them.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I guess we should also shut down all common courtesies and cave to the malcontents.

[/ QUOTE ]

RIF. But here ya go-

Main Entry: 1cour·te·sy
Pronunciation: 'k&r-t&-sE, Brit also 'kor-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -sies
Etymology: Middle English corteisie, from Anglo-French curteisie, from curteis
1 a : courteous behavior b : a courteous act or expression
2 a : general allowance despite facts : INDULGENCE <hills called mountains by courtesy only> b : consideration, cooperation, and generosity in providing something (as a gift or privilege);

No one doubts your skills at sophistry...but you're really overreaching here.

Oh and "common" is relative. My friends and I treat each other a ton for drinks/lunch. My mother often speaks of her friends treating her to lunch. My sister speaks of co-workers treating her to lunch...so w/e.

[Hollywade]

[ QUOTE ]
Isn't this weird that she'd just assume I'm paying for the drinks SHE INVITED ME TO?


[/ QUOTE ]

I hate the fact that some girls assume this is how it is going to work.

[Michaelson]

[ QUOTE ]

How paranoid or misguided do you have to be to interpret my picking up a lunch tab as ulterior when none of my actions to date have indicated anything to the contrary?

I guess we should also shut down all common courtesies and cave to the malcontents. When you start finding wrong in kindness and then blame the benevolence itself for being naive-which according to some means not taking into account every single convoluted scenario possible before acting-then you among all men will be most miserable.


[/ QUOTE ]

So hold on. You asked a girl to lunch and offered to pay. She interpreted that as you making an advance. And not only did this surprise you, but it actually offended you and somehow has come to personify the ills feminism or some [censored]?

Wow. Could you be any more oblivious?

[J.A.K.]

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Picking up the tab is not a common courtesy. Opening the door or saying gesundheit when someone sneezes is a common courtesy.

In fact it is neither common NOR a courtesy to either pay people's bills nor for them to expect you to pay them.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I guess we should also shut down all common courtesies and cave to the malcontents.

[/ QUOTE ]

RIF. But here ya go-

Main Entry: 1cour·te·sy
Pronunciation: 'k&r-t&-sE, Brit also 'kor-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -sies
Etymology: Middle English corteisie, from Anglo-French curteisie, from curteis
1 a : courteous behavior b : a courteous act or expression
2 a : general allowance despite facts : INDULGENCE <hills called mountains by courtesy only> b : consideration, cooperation, and generosity in providing something (as a gift or privilege);

No one doubts your skills at sophistry...but you're really overreaching here.

Oh and "common" is relative. My friends and I treat each other a ton for drinks/lunch. My mother often speaks of her friends treating her to lunch. My sister speaks of co-workers treating her to lunch...so w/e.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, if trying to make things clear to you counts as sophistry, I'm done here. You're a really defensive guy unnecessarily, and it looks like communication is impossible.

[J.A.K.]

Blarg,

When you say things like "it's not courteous to buy a friend lunch" it's abstract at best. When you say it's "heavy handed and controlling" of me because I am surprised that a simple act of generosity was met with scolding- it really requires mental contortion.

No doubt you are a deep thinker and definitely smarter than I am. And it may be I'm simply not getting what you are saying, but in all honesty, in my particular case, the girl's reaction was inappropriate and where you want to patronize and legitimize her thinking...I don't.

[LonesomeFugitive]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Why go out with her in the first place if you are not physically attracted to her?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm amazed it took 20 posts for this question to come up.

[/ QUOTE ]

because sometimes men and women hang out just to have a good time? i mean i have several female friends that i drink with regularly.

[/ QUOTE ]
They do?????? This is inconcievable! I had no idea there were guys out there that hanged out with girls. I guess I must be old fashioned to me hanging out is doing stuff with your buddies not with chicks.