Writing Competition: Discussion Thread

[Zutroy]

The Final- An insanely well written story with a very unique and fitting style. I really enjoyed the different segments, though I didn't really "get" it at first. However, after
reading a few of the above posts and reflecting a bit, I feel a bit stupid for not piecing it together sooner. Thoroughly depressing and overall very well done. Also, I really love the following sentence:
"The pencils clawed maniacally at their flimsy adversaries, inflicting leaded scars at the will of the frenzied young scholars."


The Hitchhiker- I enjoyed the rambling, stream of consciousness style and found the story to be pretty interesting overall, particularly the ending. I understand you threw this together and all, but the story could have used a bit of focus. The main character went off on a few tangents, which is usually a good thing for that style, but I felt that they didn't add as much to the overall understanding of the character as they could have. On the other hand, I really enjoyed this part:
"I guess I thought it would hurt at this point, but strangely, there wasn’t any pain…just that pressure, almost like a chiropractor trying to crack my chest, but failing to do so."


Also, you are quite correct about the ending, good sir. I toyed with the idea of placing the priest behind the altar and the cat at his side but didn't for a few reasons: I liked the image of the cat seated proudly on the altar and was somewhat hesitant to edit my work in any significant way before getting a few outside opinions. I had hoped it was clear that both the angel and the cat served at the pleasure of the priest but, in retrospect, I don't think I worded the ending properly.

As for the cat itself, I would like to hear from a few more people before revealing my interpretation, as the cat is meant to be an important symbol and I was worried I did not convey it properly (or that the cat was a flawed premise to begin with). However, food for thought: is this cat normal and how does Jerold react to the cat? What does he do afterward and where does he eventually end up? Assume I didn't [censored] up the ending and the reader is left with the impression that the cat serves the priest.