Apathy or unquenched desire?

[Ben86]

jesus there are some smart people in this forum. awesome read.

I'm somewhere in between. I hate losing in general. But admittedly things that used to excite me just don't anymore. I don't really flinch anymore unless its a big final table or something. All I try to do now is just focus purely on decisions. Was the decision right? If yes im happy, if not im upset - no matter the result.

As for my horse, he'd sure as hell better want it.

Ben

[EC10]

also to chime in a bit, i have to say that i have a really strong desire to do well in a huge tourney again. i'm primarily a cash game player but being chip leader/top 5 in chips in the million from 50 on down to the final table was by far the most excited i've ever been and the most fun i've ever had playing poker. having a lot of chips in a tournament is always a ton of fun. but at the same time when i bust out of a tourney im just like "lol donkaments, standard" so yes, somewhere in between is the best is what i'm trying to say. /ramble

[mastr]

apathy is way way better then the other extreme. I think it also lets you play super aggro and not worry about busting out in extremely silly spots or looking stupid like 4bet shoving 25s if you think its right because you don't care how others will perceive it afterwards and if you let the results eat at you, its just bad news bears...

[shaundeeb]

sigh I was not going to post in this because I didn't want to lower the overall intellect in the posts in this thread but I feel I need to defend nath here with an argument me and him have had with many others in threads in the past.

I spent many hours today trying to explain this stuff to a student today about the one part of tourneys I've experienced and couldn't prove because the math is too intensive. This is a lot of gigablock theory/optimal stack ideas theory included, I know many of you disagree with the block theory but it's correct in many complex ways.

Basically the jist of it is this example.

Say I have have a 15bb stack at the middle stages of a tourney and the stacks to my direct left are effectively this 20bbs,10,15,20,25,30,35,40,45 , and say the player to my left is an aggro solid player who will give me fits is too my left the other players are no where as good as as him or me we are def first and 2nd in skill at the table.

Given these stack sizes if I knew I could get it in vs the guy on my left 100% of the time as a 45% dog I would take it each time without any dead money or anything. So 45% of the time I have 30bbs and 55% I bust,

I will not argue that in an ICM model my chip value would have doubled directly due to that hand we all know that.

But i will tell you my hypothetical chip accumulating per orbit amount will skyrocket from where it was in the previous example. And I will earn back the 2.5bbs or whatever edge I gave up in that 45%flip by having a much more profitable situation every time it's folded to me in any spot. In a few orbits as long as table doesn't break I will be putting myself in more and more profitable situations with my chips where I can play more hands for a larger edge. When I would of been handcuffed to playing tight without the double. Thus increasing the chances of me winning because each orbit I am gaining way more chips then I would if I didn't take that 45% flip.

[d2themfi]

man my eyes hurt too much atm to read all of this thread but after reading the first 15 posts, I gotta say this has rung true in so many ways for me. when I first started I def didnt give a [censored] about the money and losing didnt affect me at all. Then I had some success hit a few decent scores and then somehow got disillusioned with tournaments as "they're all luck". I have also started to become super tilty/emotional lately as I have been on a 60k hand rollercoaster ride trying to learn to beat midstakes cash. This stuff really bother me when I think about it too, cause Im the type of guy that really doesnt care about anything, and let most things just roll of my back. At first poker was not about money at all when I had none of it and now that I have it, its like I lost all confidence in myself to hold onto it when Im downswinging/breaking even. Idk, Im def gonna read through the res of this thread in a bit, just thought I'd add my 2 cents

[d2themfi]

heh, just read the rest of the thread and it kinda derailed a bit

[Clayton]

i am glad this thread has fostered some great discussion, thank you to those that chimed in with meaningful stuff and those that derailed, mehhhhhh

shane's elaboration on why he will never be the best absolutely describes my approach right now to a tee. that is, in essence, why i am now shrouded in apathy. the word i was apparantly looking for was "romantic".

and ty for the sports analagies bobneptune, today was 15 hours of live college football with great success and anything sports related is welcome to open ears