Another relationship advice thread

[ConfusedIdiot]

I only used a gimmick because my screen name also happens to be the city i live in which was dumb when i did that in the first place...

[ConfusedIdiot]

Well four months in i went from sober and involved to smoking pot every day with my friends for months straight. Im guessing this didnt help matters either...Im not blaming pot i love pot, but my point is that for some reason i jumped ship a long time ago and i dont know if it was fear that things were so good, or just because things were not what i wanted...

[supermangina]

Follow your smaller brain...he knows best

[diddyeinstein]

I was in a similar type situation. Dated a girl, was kind of hesitant to plan for the future, put it on autopilot and took her majorly for granted. Eventually we separated, and then I realized that I had [censored] up, really really badly.

Got back together, I don't take her for granted, and things are wonderful. I have not regretted the decision once. Still a bit scared of getting married, but I can't imagine my life without her.

So I guess the question you have to ask yourself is why you want her back. If it's because you see the error of your ways, then definitely talk to her and maybe go to counseling together. You would just have to let her know that you are definitely committed to making it work. If it's just because you are lonely, or don't want to bang fatties, or life was more convenient with her, or whatever ... then I think you know the answer.

[MicroBob]

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Well four months in i went from sober and involved to smoking pot every day with my friends for months straight. Im guessing this didnt help matters either..

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Ya think?
Golly...guy who smokes pot everyday starts to blow off some other things and/or people in his life. That never happens!!

Relationships do actually need a little bit of work to continue to be successful. If you just sit there and let it die then yeah, it really will die.

I think you have developed some really patterns with your ex and it's best to move forward now. Going back to her will eventually just lead to the same old patterns I suspect.

But maybe you have really been super-duper ignorant and somehow this counselor guy is really getting through to you and changing you THAT much and you really can change a ton.

But it's my observation that people/couples who have problems for a long time can't just will them away by saying they really feel different about things now. They fall back into the same unhealthy patterns fairly quickly.

[adsman]

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These threads by rule suck, but this OP is one of the worst of it's kind.

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I agree. I think threads like this should only be allowed to be made with real accounts.

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I have raised this exact point on a number of occasions. We should get a petition going or something.

[Moorsie]

LOL your ex is going to laugh out loud when she finds out you blew her off for a fattie. In all seriousness, dump the ex, dump the chubbo / jesus freak, and just take some time to yourself and hookup with lots of random girls. In 6 months when your head is clear, then you can think about another relationship and if chubbo is still in your head, give her a call.

P.s. She will probably gain the weight back so hopefully weight is not important. Not trying to be mean...most people (male / female) gain the weight back within a year.

[ZOMG_RIGGED!]

How have people not learn that the answer to relationship questions is always "Have secks with her mom." Always.

[Alobar]

Im not reading OP, and I bet my advice will still be solid

break up with her, she isnt the one. The fact you are asking all these questions is proof enough. You are young, everyones first relationship goes on for way to long, its because you get comfortable and are scared of change and being alone. Its normal. The feelings will pass. Just stay strong and dont be stupid and get back together. Go out, have fun, and chase new tail, but dont be stupid and jump right back into another relationship, (which is what most people do because they are codependent) learn how to be single and learn who you are. This is an exciting period in your life, you can either look back on this time with fond memories of all the fun you had living life and learning about who you are or look back with wisdom of an older person and realize you wasted a few good years being a scared little pussy when you could have been out living. Take my advice and it will be the former instead of the latter.

[Josem]

there is a truly excellent thread on this (op by irieguy, i think) from about 2 years ago that you might be able to find by searching.