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Ridonkulous Explanations
What are some of the ridiculous explanations you've heard at the poker table after an odd play? It doesn't matter whether the donk won or lost the pot after his move.
Fortunately, I was on the good side of this play last night. After raising the donk on the flop and value betting the turn, the donk led into me by pushing with his remaining $150 in an attempt to take down the $150 pot with just Jack high. I called with two-pair, and he showed his missed gutshot straight draw. I would have lauded his creativity if he had said, "I missed my draw and the only way I could win the pot was to bluff at it." However, he offered this gem instead: "What could I do? I was pot committed." |
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Re: Ridonkulous Explanations
nuse
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Re: Ridonkulous Explanations
this guy sat down at my poker table the other day and started to talk about all these noob plays that he saw over the past year play 10nl online man i wish i had a tape recorder so i could have listened to them again and again
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Re: Ridonkulous Explanations
Sickest thing i've ever seen...
Regular 1-2NL (200max) live game... Gets raised to 50 preflop... 3 ways... Flop A 5 2... First guy pushes allin for his last 90~... The other two get it all in on the flop as well, both show AK... First guy doesnt show, turn comes 4, river comes 3, he shows 86o... Claims 'I had a feeling'... And people say online poker is rigged... This guy can see through the deck |
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Re: Ridonkulous Explanations
Honestly some of these are pure gold!!
--------------------------------------------------- bennyboom: 3-betting 88 preflop? what a joke Scotsman71: POCKET PAIRS ARE FAVOURITES AGAINST YOUR OVERCARDS I SAW IT ON WPT bennyboom: I HAD AA YOU DOLT Scotsman71: YA U HAD TWO OVERCARDS bennyboom: you're on my list ---------- Just sat down and before getting dealt a hand witnessed this gem. Converter kind of messed up since I wasn't dealt I guess, but pre-flop Lurker(SB) raised to 30 cents and poker(BB) called. Results below: pokerprncess has K J (flush, king high). LurkerDrop has 9 9 (three of a kind, nines) Outcome: pokerprncess wins $9.25. ParkCitySki said, "nh" pokerprncess said, "50/50" LurkerDrop said, "lol 50/50" LurkerDrop said, "are you out of your mind" pokerprncess said, "" LurkerDrop said, "dimwits these days" pokerprncess said, "33/67" pokerprncess said, "hahahah" LurkerDrop said, "wow" ParkCitySki said, "karma loss" ParkCitySki said, "now be nice" LurkerDrop said, "was 75/25 vs you princess" pokerprncess said, "no...." pokerprncess said, "wtf" LurkerDrop said, "yes" LurkerDrop said, "top set?" pokerprncess said, "FLUSH DRAW" LurkerDrop said, "so what" pokerprncess said, "33%" LurkerDrop said, "fh/quad draw is same % as you" pokerprncess said, "stupid" pokerprncess said, "you're an idiot" LurkerDrop said, "plug it into pokerhand" LurkerDrop said, "and you'll see" LurkerDrop said, "dimwit" pokerprncess said, "you don't know anything about probabilty" pokerprncess said, "calc 3, *****" LurkerDrop said, "you're so retarded it's amazing" pokerprncess said, "im actually attending a university right now" pokerprncess said, "so piss off" LurkerDrop said, "you're failing it too it seems" pokerprncess said, "B" pokerprncess said, "i dont attend it anyways" pokerprncess said, "lurker, dont be mad that you suck at poker, okay?" LurkerDrop said, "i suck at poker?" pokerprncess said, "yes you do" LurkerDrop said, "hm, im folding a top set" LurkerDrop said, "yes i think thats a good play there" -------------- changbang> i always see whos the first to get KK or AA on a table changbang> and give him a high five changbang> HERES YOUR HIGH FIVE ZZCHESS zzchess> yea ive been due some luck changbang> AND SOME HIGH FIVES ------------- I had pocket 2's in the BB and some guy in MP calls it and so does the SB. Flop comes A22, MP guy instantly goes all in. I call. He has pocket ace's. Then says "yeah keep playing that trash buddy I'll break you eventually." ------------- I got a kick out of this, playing $100NL with Clonie Gowen jda2003 (Observer): is clonie gowen your name??? jda2003 (Observer): who are you?? Clonie Gowen: is jda your name??? Clonie Gowen: who are you?? MrTimCaum: I THINK IT IS A LEGITIMATE QUESTION lquidmusic (Observer): I don't think it's a legitimate question...if they have their own avatar, and their name is in red, that's their real name Clonie Gowen: should be pretty obvious, the table is even named after me MrTimCaum: THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS THAT IT IS A LEGITIMATE QUESTION Dealer: MrTimCaum has 5 seconds left to act MrTimCaum: I'M LEAVING! Clonie Gowen: then you answer it tim lquidmusic (Observer): wow, outburst of the evening Dealer: MrTimCaum stands up bruinptatc: geez Clonie Gowen: lol Clonie Gowen: that was funny ---------- I had KK in the SB, and I re-raised the BB 4 handed, folded to mein a SnG. He typed in " Oh youre gonna bully me huh [censored] " and re-raised me all in. I called immediately, and he showed AJ. I hit his ace, and then said " Yeah, what the gently caress now. Know your role. Dont try donig that poo poo with Kings, you know its a race if I have an ace " ---------- I love people who act like tough guys, especially when they make physical threats online. That whole log reminded me of a guy I was at a table with on Party. Someone rivered a set to beat him, and that set him off: nineballwiz: up your a.ss with a broom f.aggot nineballwiz: no good river whore behindmasks: the check raise on the end wasn't a clue for you? nineballwiz: die slow ChubbyFunk27: I think I have nightmares about rivers behindmasks: why don't you keep betting without regard to what the other players are doing to get your revenge? nineballwiz: stfu weak nut fish nineballwiz: bittchmade ChubbyFunk27: ok, you're an idiot, stop talking nineballwiz: just with this was a live game i would bust kman and masks face open behindmasks: hehe Kman70_4Fun: F Off A-Hole behindmasks: hardly a substitute for knowing how to play well nineballwiz: u too f.agballs would chase a parked car ChubbyFunk27: ok, once again nineball, no more talking nineballwiz: two Kman70_4Fun: I rule in my house Kman70_4Fun: Your words are SH__!!! nineballwiz: u aint shet nineballwiz: but a f.uckin **** What really cracked me up though was his totally awesome parting shot: nineballwiz: u f.ags need to get alot better before u can play with the master nineballwiz has left the table. Kman70_4Fun: good riddens Ulillillia: hahahahahahahaha --------- Hand 1 NJDfan1711: wow, so lucky kdevil: totally! NJDfan1711: you were.... kdevil: I know! NJDfan1711: k Hand 2 NJDfan1711: hahaha NJDfan1711: what an awful player kdevil: I know right! NJDfan1711: I hope you get hit by a bus tomorrow --------- as lame as an ICQ log but I was cracking up cause this guy would post stuff like this after every hand. #2576050269: GREATMAN222 wins $25.50 from the main pot with a flush, ace high with king kicker. GREATMAN222: rake payr you thought your 6 high flush could beat greatness Kaedric: truly GREATMAN222 is a force to be reckoned with! GREATMAN222: lol Kaedric: it is no coincidence that you won with pocket kings sir! Kaedric: it's a metaphor for your greatness GREATMAN222: i know im great GREATMAN222: thanks sir you are great as well not as great as me but you are alright Kaedric: coming from GREATMAN222 that means a lot GREATMAN222: thanks i dont know what to say Kaedric: let your greatness speak for itself sir MASTA__PLAYA: suck MASTA__PLAYA: mydiick Oh GREATMAN222, shine on you crazy diamond. --------- This was after the first hand in a tourney, where i trapped a guy. I thought it was pretty funny, and yes i know quoting rounders is lame, but for some reason I couldn't stop laughing and even said it to my blah.txt rickers1823 (Observer): it hurts rickers1823 (Observer): he trappped me rickers1823 (Observer): wit hhis CHECK CHECK CHECK rickers1823 (Observer): HE BEAT ME rickers1823 (Observer): straight up rickers1823 (Observer): PAy him rickers1823 (Observer): PAY THAT MAN HIS MONEY --------- This was hilarious. MullinaxWins bets [$6]. BLIND69NER raises [$12]. MullinaxWins calls [$6]. BLIND69NER shows [ Ad, Qh ] two pairs, aces and queens. MullinaxWins doesn't show [ 4s, Jh ] a pair of jacks. BLIND69NER wins $46 from the main pot with two pairs, aces and queens. qj Radiocorgi: no you didn't BLIND69NER: lol MullinaxWins: lol i mean aa wussupkid: you had Jack 4 Radiocorgi: more like j4 wussupkid: lmao MullinaxWins: how the hell did u know that u son of a **** ge0ffym0lly: we are all cheating wussupkid: secrets secrets Radiocorgi: I have a Phd in hacking the planet wussupkid: stick around,,,you'll figure it out wussupkid: he tought me,,,I attended his class wussupkid: lol MullinaxWins: well i hope not because every one of your names is about to be put down on party poker list kg8985: PLEASE!!!! Don't do that!!!LMAO ge0ffym0lly: lol MullinaxWins: i mucked those cards ge0ffym0lly: i saw them preflop MullinaxWins: how the hell did u know what i has wussupkid: what the Jack 4?? Radiocorgi: hey moron you can check if it went to showdown by hitting the last hand option wussupkid: no you didn't MullinaxWins: bull sh it ge0ffym0lly: shhh! don't tell him wussupkid: you didn't muck,,you called wussupkid: thank you geoffy Radiocorgi: don't worry he's still a donk wussupkid: make em learn the hard way Radiocorgi: oh ya he's a master eBluffer lma MullinaxWins: u are full of it ** Dealing Flop ** [ 3s, Jh, 3c ] kg8985 checks. NJSeabass bets [$3]. wussupkid: do you want me to tell you what you have right now???? wussupkid: I will if you want??? MullinaxWins: yeah wussupkid folds. MullinaxWins raises [$6]. BigNewbie folds. kg8985 folds. NJSeabass calls [$3]. ** Dealing Turn ** [ Th ] wussupkid: why do you think I folded Radiocorgi: 23o because you're a donk NJSeabass checks. MullinaxWins bets [$6]. NJSeabass raises [$12]. MullinaxWins raises [$12]. NJSeabass calls [$6]. ** Dealing River ** [ 4h ] NJSeabass checks. MullinaxWins bets [$6]. NJSeabass calls [$6]. MullinaxWins shows [ As, Js ] two pairs, jacks and threes. NJSeabass shows [ Tc, Jc ] two pairs, jacks and tens. NJSeabass wins $88 from the main pot with two pairs, jacks and tens. oops Radiocorgi: lol igorello folds. MullinaxWins folds. Radiocorgi raises [$6]. BigNewbie calls [$6]. JayBird44444 folds. ge0ffym0lly folds. wussupkid: don't you know you shouldn't raise with AJ hornilius25 has joined the table. kg8985 has been reconnected and has 18 seconds to act. im on the phone with party poker right now kg8985 folds. lol have fun since they barely speak english BigNewbie: dude,,,you are rally cracking me up!!! wussupkid: I better run before he gets me in trouble Radiocorgi: 'HELLO PARTY POKER? I'VE BEEN HACKED. GO TO ORANGE ALERT' wussupkid: hey ge0ffy,,,you laughing at this kid ge0ffym0lly: better sit out u can't win when we know ur hole cards MullinaxWins: they understood exactly what i said and they are watching the table --------- NASHDADDY: time to go blast a dookie in the toilet -------- Survivor7391: whitepuke is going downnn whiteuk: nah i'm going out actually whiteuk: got some post to pick up whiteuk: sorry #2628818058: Remo149 wins $6.50 Survivor7391: chicken XXXX Survivor7391: puke bas turd whiteuk: why thankyou What can I say? I took him down and he got stressed out. --------- ba11er6969: moron ba11er6969: typical XXXXing moron ba11er6969: asswot ba11er6969: asswit Jonny718: you called ba11er6969: go XXXX a dog rotujda: you did nothing to get him off the hand <-- me rotujda: and called down with 3rd pair ba11er6969: bunch of XXXXing morons Jonny718: and your rude so go XXXX yourself ba11er6969: i hope you choke on camel semen ------- A table coach gets his just desserts: Earlier on, this ajb guy had been berating some of the other players at the table and acting like a [censored]. They were going back and forth with him when this hand came up. ***** Hand History for Game 2776822073 ***** $1/$2 Texas Hold'em - Monday, September 26, 03:28:26 EDT 2005 Table Table 30084 (6 max) (Real Money) Seat 5 is the button Total number of players : 5 Seat 3: urmomlovesit ( $78.13 ) Seat 5: rjrocking ( $83.19 ) Seat 6: SmileyLSU ( $52.25 ) Seat 2: LittleBones_ ( $43.75 ) Seat 1: ajb1278 ( $35.85 ) SmileyLSU posts small blind [$0.50]. >You have options at Table 34445 (6 max) Table!. ajb1278 posts big blind [$1]. ** Dealing down cards ** ajb1278: you dumb asses call with anything LittleBones_ raises [$2]. SmileyLSU: and you bet with anything ajb1278: AK ajb1278: best hand SmileyLSU: I watched you chase that K8 a minute ago urmomlovesit raises [$3]. rjrocking folds. SmileyLSU folds. ajb1278 calls [$2]. LittleBones_ calls [$1]. ** Dealing Flop ** [ Th, Ts, 2s ] ajb1278 checks. LittleBones_ checks. urmomlovesit: why are you talking urmomlovesit checks. ** Dealing Turn ** [ 3c ] ajb1278 checks. LittleBones_ bets [$2]. urmomlovesit calls [$2]. ajb1278 raises [$4]. LittleBones_ folds. urmomlovesit calls [$2]. ** Dealing River ** [ 5d ] ajb1278 bets [$2]. ajb1278: pot odds dumb rear end urmomlovesit: u think ur gonna win? SmileyLSU: same for us MORON urmomlovesit: i know u dont have a ten urmomlovesit: u know why? ajb1278: yeah ok urmomlovesit raises [$4]. ajb1278 raises [$4]. urmomlovesit: LOL urmomlovesit: u know why urmomlovesit: cause i have the other two urmomlovesit raises [$4]. ajb1278 calls [$2]. urmomlovesit shows [ Tc, Td ] four of a kind, tens. ajb1278 doesn't show [ 3d, 3h ] a full house, Threes full of tens. urmomlovesit wins $34.50 from the main pot with four of a kind, tens. The table pretty much went apeshit at that point. -------- Hit and runners! - Scotsman posted: rhinoceraces: because when we get in a hand I'll nail you later for it all Scotsman: YA? HOW YA GONNA NAIL ME WHEN I CAN DO THIS Dealer: Scotsman sits out Scotsman: I am leaving now THANKS FOR THE MONEY RHINO I LOVE DONATORS LIKE U rhinoceraces: if these people played live with me that might watch their f.ucking mouths rhinoceraces: because i'll hit a bytch like that Scotsman: I AM GONNA BUY CIGARETTES WITH YOUR MONEY RHINO AND FEED THEM TO BABIES. --------- a3q46bq3ysrt: you guys are so XXXXing busted Nitrain67 raises [$7]. a3q46bq3ysrt is all-In [$16.14] thedude1206 folds. Nitrain67 calls [$10.14]. Nitrain67 shows [ 4d, 4s ] a full house, Fours full of aces. a3q46bq3ysrt shows [ Ac, As ] four of a kind, aces. a3q46bq3ysrt wins $39.93 from the main pot with four of a kind, aces. fordman_69: lets kick it up a notch!!!! a3q46bq3ysrt: XXXX you fordman let's tone it down a little ---------- Fortune SNG this morning: [Dealing Flop] Jd 8c 9s 4CardsDraw checks: HotScot is all-in [570] 3 folds 4CardsDraw: u keep pulling this [censored] 4CardsDraw: well this time i caught u 4CardsDraw: gg hotscot, time to get busted 4CardsDraw calls [570] 4CardsDraw shows Js 2s (One pair, Jacks) HotScot shows: Tc 7d (A straight, Jack High) Oops. |
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Re: Ridonkulous Explanations
KC547 said, "oneday everybody will learn on pokerstars that pokit aces is the absolute worst hand to play on this joker poker site"
KC547 said, "its the truth they are no good on here" KC547 said, "i throw pokit aces away when i get them on this site" Cjones7410 said, "your a good player" Cjones7410 said, "lol" KC547 said, "well if you don t throw them away you will be knocked out" CSaja said, "what is pokit" Cjones7410 said, "i have won with them already once in this tourny" KC547 said, "they win about 2 out of every 1000 times there out" KC547 said, "you won cause you didn t get a call bro" ----- JaniseW shows [6c, 7c, 5c, 3c, 6d, 8s, 9s] a straight, five to nine JaniseW wins $31 from the main pot with a straight, five to nine. winechuck: nice catch u dumb b_itch winechuck: what a river keep playin those hands I will bust u JaniseW: Due to your outburst, I will NOT play those hands anymore. Thanks for teaching me it was a bad play. winechuck: shutup I consider it an accomplishment when I get someone to resort to telling me to "shut up". ------ I raise UTG with AsJs, UTG+1 and UTG+2 call AKx flop with two hearts, I bet, both call x turn, I bet, UTG+2 calls K river, I check, UTG+2 bets 1/3 pot, I call and beat 7h5h Dealer: Hand 138021488: MrTimCaum wins($69.25) with Two Pair, Aces and Kings Martland: a j? Martland: wow MrTimCaum: 75s? Martland: i represented AK MrTimCaum: you sure as hell didn't do a good job of it Martland: f uck this MrTimCaum: lol he immediately left the table ------ Final Pot: t5220 Results below: UTG has Js Jc (flush, ace high). MP2 has Qd Qh (one pair, queens). Outcome: MP2 wins t2690. UTG wins t2530. ShinGouki: ALWAYS SAME CIRCUS !!! ShinGouki: l KNEW 2 CLUBS CAME AFTER FLOP ShinGouki: JJ ?? Tn-Nestegg: u still whinning asspartaus: lose the same yesterday ShinGouki: it is ALWAYS THE SAME CIRCUS l SAY ShinGouki: BEST HAND DOESN T WIN LIKE % SHOWS ! Tn-Nestegg: bekieve me we all have asspartaus: never trust % Tn-Nestegg: TILT ShinGouki: 81.3% QQ VS JJ asspartaus: so u get the last 18.7 ShinGouki: 87% after flop Tn-Nestegg: 94 after turn, zero after river ShinGouki: 94 after turn ?!! ShinGouki: no 75 ShinGouki: so random Edit: This is the best circus in town. ShinGouki said, "but you can't win on this fuclking site" asspartaus said, "haha" ShinGouki said, "worse hand wins so often" ShinGouki said, "l think l start going all in 72 off soon" ------ Dealer: Donkey13 shows [Jh Jd] Dealer: Toreador shows [8d 8h] XavierSheen: Pass Sugar Dealer: Donkey13 shows a straight, Queen high Dealer: Toreador shows three of a kind, Eights Dealer: Donkey13 wins the pot (7,680) with a straight, Queen high Toreador (Observer): go all in with 72 off,sure winner at this table XavierSheen: how do you call with 8-8??????? HOW ? XavierSheen: that is horrible. thank god you won donkey Donkey13: thanks for the support...i didnt feel all that lucky XavierSheen: i'm so sick of these quick reraises with sh.t. You made a big raise under the gun, got to respect it Donkey13: if only more people thought like u, i wouldnt take as many bad beats XavierSheen: i appreciate that Donkey13: good players are alwaz appreciated and i certainly dont mind losing to people such as yourself nearly as much XavierSheen: likewise. thanks a lot 53M37: get a room you two XavierSheen: did anyone just see that last hand? ------ martinkil: had to go for a while martinkil: my dog committed suicide BOB127: srry to hear that martinkil: yeah BOB127: jump off pourch with a chain martinkil: barking at a bird then jumped off the roof martinkil: funeral tomorrow martinkil: if i can scrape him up Dealer: ohthen shows [9s 9h] Dealer: Rollup shows [3h 9c] Dealer: ohthen shows a full house, Nines full of Threes Dealer: ohthen wins the side pot (1,956) with a full house, Nines full of Threes Dealer: Rollup shows a full house, Threes full of Nines Dealer: ohthen wins the main pot (3,905) with a full house, Nines full of Threes Tournament Director: The blinds are now 100/200 Dealer: Hand #299354377 olie_t: good job oh Rollup (Observer): i ca'nt believe they just had me lose to a high house...i &$#ing hate htis site I Bet You Fold: u had 93 dude I Bet You Fold: easy buddy ------ PokerStars 5+.50 SNG: I had KJs in the small blind, four-handed at the 100/200/25 ante level, and was the chipleader with about 5600 chips, much of it stolen through happy fun aggressive play. It's folded to me, I raise to 600, and the big blind goes all in for 545 more and I obviously call. He has pocket Jacks. Like the jerk that I am, I spiked the King on the turn, but I felt bad for the guy until he started typing in the chat box. mpjhockey27: unbelievable mpjhockey27: what a dueshe GOODTYMS3: YOU HAD TO CALL THAT kkith: lol [I win another pot, stealing the blinds] MissingDonut: it's funny because he can't spell douche GOODTYMS3: VERY NICE CALL kkith: what is a dueshe? MissingDonut: something to do with clog dancing kkith: lol _________________ AHCHCCHAHACHAHCHAHC god dammit I'm going all in |
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Re: Ridonkulous Explanations
[ QUOTE ]
bennyboom: 3-betting 88 preflop? what a joke Scotsman71: POCKET PAIRS ARE FAVOURITES AGAINST YOUR OVERCARDS I SAW IT ON WPT bennyboom: I HAD AA YOU DOLT Scotsman71: YA U HAD TWO OVERCARDS bennyboom: you're on my list [/ QUOTE ] Actually this is gold. It might be a level, it might not be a level, but nomatter what it is BBV MATERIAL! |
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Re: Ridonkulous Explanations
lol i know who you are
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Re: Ridonkulous Explanations
And then it notice this is in NVG [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] |
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Re: Ridonkulous Explanations
My favourite explanation is "I was bored"
Fair enough usually, but in this particular case we were playing the 4th hand of the tournament. Thinking back, that was probably the mean attention span in that particular tournament. |
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