Things non 2+2'ers/Ballers/Poker Players Say That Tilt You

[TurdFerguson]

GF: So how did you do playing online tonight?

Me: Well, I won/lost $________.

GF: You know it doesn't matter anyway, because it's just fake internet money.

Me: WTF are you talking about?

GF: You can't get it offline into your bank account.

Me: Well, actually, yes, I can. You see...

GF: No, I read an article about it somewhere a while back, blah blah vagina oprah woman crap blah

Me: *feels little piece of my brain die inside my skull*

[Mr. Ratface]

"The sites are rigged to create big hands against big hands so all the money gets all in and thus they profit from big rake"

obv they don't realize there is a rake max and that the sites profit more when you slowly but surely win and lose small pot after small pot until they rake all your money.


Then the other day I was at the dentist waiting and some moron there gets a phone call. I was just about to put my I Pod on until I heard the word all in....
"so the 4th diamond hit and your queens lost? That's though, happened to me the other day I had queens and wanted to play them slow so I just called. A king came on the flop but I had queens I couldn't fold. He had kq and outflopped me. It's been happenign to me a lot lately."

[FishSticks]

Ever been around loose acquantainces when Poker after Dark or WPT or whatever comes on TV and they feel like they want to offer their opinion on every single hand, and none of it makes sense? Yah.

[catcher193]

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"If I gave you $50, could you run it up to $2k for me?!?!"

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winner. this life tilts me.

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this is just too sick, I bet 10+ people I meet regularly have asked me this.

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Same...I HATE it...got into a HUGE arguement while drinking...basically my buddy wanted me to turn $1K into $50K...and I could keep $10K of it, I was trying to explain to him since I have $1K...why not turn it into $50K and keep the $50K for myself.

The discussion concluded with him calling me "selfish."

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That's great lol. One guy wanted to give me $20 and turn it into like $2000 for him, but was super worried about me losing it and wanted to put a bunch of conditions on me playing, and basically said that if I lost it he'd think i was a total degen and wouldn't be friendly towards me anymore.

Just for a laugh I said that he could buy $20 worth of my bankroll, and when I doubled my roll (profit wise) he could have $40 back. He looked shocked and was like "WTF U R TRYING TO STEAL FROM ME!! WAT KIND OF DEAL IS THAT U DIRTY THIEFZZZ OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!!!"

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ahahah yup the conditions are the best.

[so sick bro]

I had to listen to a gem of a conversation tonight at a card club about how the random number generators for poker sites work somehow based off measuring your cpu heat.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PLUS E VEE'S AND UR...SAMPLE SIZES SOMETHIN JUST AINT RIGHT ABOUT THE MATH ONLINE...U GOT ACES UR GONNA LOSE LIKE 4 OUT OF 5 TIMES

dealing with people who don't know anything at all about poker isn't as bad imo as dealing with live megadonks. people who don't know anything about poker will run out of [censored] to say about it much quicker - live donks will go on for hours trying to make retarded arguments about how rigged internet poker is even when you intentionally don't disagree so they'll just shut up

[2cards2come]

"How much do you play per hand?"
"You have an ace. Isn't that good?"
"I put you on AK."

fucin "put you on ak" just makes me so effing mad.

[74o_Clownsuit]

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"How much do you play per hand?"
"You have an ace. Isn't that good?"
"I put you on AK."

fucin "put you on ak" just makes me so effing mad.

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So [censored] QFT it's sad...

[holyfield5]

ya everyone i talk to thinks its illegal also

[LostMyCaseMoney]

I never really got too much regarding turn X amount into Y amount for me or w/e but this weak is I've got it like 10 times which is about 5 times as much as I've heard that in the last two years.

Honestly I've had a lot of haters lately from people I've invited over to my house to party or people who have invited people and what not. I don't really get it. I'm pretty humble about it cause I make infinitely more then most the people I hang with hope to one day make. I don't like talking about what I do but people obviously know what I do and want to talk about it and I don't lie about it. I'll say what I'm up or what I'm down and if I'm down I'll make it sound like a loss hurts more then it does. People like to talk poker which I don't care for since while I could go on there's only like two people I know who understand pot odds.

People coming over to ear and drink for free and then say [censored] to me which sometimes basically just become personal attacks kind of pisses me off.

[Kilillan]

I never tell anyone I meet anymore about what I do.

If they really pry I tell them I play poker, but I don't tell them how much I play for or how much I win/lose.

By far the most annoying is "if I give you xxxx$, can you win money for me?"