What film/TV show contains the single funniest joke?

[Chairman Wood]

[ QUOTE ]
Rushmore, when Bill Murray blocks the kid playing bball is pretty high up there.

[/ QUOTE ]
I was going to write this if somebody hadn't already. I've never laughed harder.

[GooseHinson]

Speaking of futurama, another gem is when Fry is fishing and pulls up a boot, sends it back and casts out again. Then he gets another hook, and says "This one has to be good, it feels at least...12x heavier!" and it's a crate that says "Boots, 6 pairs". I lol'd.


Dumb and Dumber, after having put hot peppers in scumbag's burger:

"How's your burger?"
"Why don't you eat up and we'll tell you?"

Many other top moments in this movie as I'm sure you all know.
Also, from Old School:

"Dear Mitch, if you're holding this letter you already know. The house has been boarded up. The doors. The windows. Everything. We're at the Comfort Inn. Room 112. I love you. Frank"

[Stagemusic]

[ QUOTE ]
okay, I've got one.

In Me, Myself & Irene...

Jim Carrey wakes up as his "good" self, not knowing his "bad" self has had sex with Irene.

Hegoes the bathroom and proceeds to shoot piss all over the bathroom until he jumps in the shower and covers himself with the curtain. "Irene, why am I peeing like I just had sex?!"

I could not stop laughing for ten minutes. I was crying and hyperventilating and sobbing and just could not stop. Too funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

The dildo scene right afterward was even funnier. I laughed till I cried with him splashing his azz with water.

[miajag]

The scene in The Royal Tenenbaums where Royal calls Henry Sherman "Coltrane" and then immediately denies it always makes me laugh to the point of tears.

[cdutilb]

(Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus.)
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian : Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...
Brian : Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...
Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vit Poland.
Brian : You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.
Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Brian : A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.
Tour guide: I vill hear no more insinuations about the German people. Nothing bad happened. Sie werden sich hinsetzen. Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland. You will sit down. You will shut up. You will not insult Germany. (Throws his hand up in a Hitler salute.)
Brian : Uh, is that a beer hall?
Tour guide: (Snapping out of it) Oh yes, Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.

[RiverTheNuts]

Prince playing basketball

[Peter666]

Great show. The funniest thing that I remember from it is the very first episode where Black Adder alters history by accidentally cutting off the King's head while the King is taking a piss, and then tries to put the head back on. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Peter666]

Something else which made me cry laughing was the claymation from Mad TV where they did spoofs of Rudolf the Rednose Reindeer as directed by Martin Scorcese and Paddington the Bear.

In the first one, I cried when an elf gets his head put in a vice.

And in Paddington the Bear, Paddington (the bear with the raincoat) is actually a well endowed flasher and the police take him away in a cop car. They accidentally close the door on his penis which made me hyperventilate.

Two things for me:

1.George Carlin's comedy sketch on God....."God has a little trouble managing money...

2. Bob Barker beating up Happy Gilmour...just hearing Bob Barker say bitch was great...

3. Eddy Murphy ...."watch dog barking..do he bite...kill my landlord, kill my landlord."

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
"Shake it, madam! Capital knockers!"
-sideshow bob

[/ QUOTE ]

'Capital Knockers' has now entered my lexicon forever, and I will be using it, probably to the annoyance of my wife, forevermore.