Looking for a tilt coach!! APPLY WITHIN! WHOOOO!

[ipokeder]

hey guyzzzzzzzzzzz

Most of you don't know me but I'm a 3/6-5/10 player on Stars. I'm looking for a tilt coach because I think I probably have a pretty bad tilt problem and I don't have the self-awareness to control it myself and since I'm already spewing away massive amounts of money, I might as well spend a little to see if that solves the problem.

Now, I want a TILT coach. NOT a poker coach. I don't care about your opinions about how I play hands or do my thing, I just want you to be able to teach/train me and advise me on how best not to tilt and to keep my wits about me at all times, and possibly sometimes even sweat my tables to make sure that I'm not tilting [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]. I have no idea if this will work at all but I might as well try because I'm a [censored] tiltmonkey spewtard.

So, what exactly am I looking for in a tilt coach? Well, I don't really know. Probably an at least passing knowledge of poker so that the game dynamics are not completely alien to you, and SOME level of experience/knowledge in behavior psychology or meditation or yoga or someshit like that, I don't know. You have to be extremely extremely level-headed and never tilt and make me feel bad that I'm not like you. Also, have a sexy voice.

I'm not looking to pay much since most of you who are willing to pick this up will probably be worthless bums, so probably somewhere from $15-25/hr depending on how much less worthless than dogshit you make yourself appear to be. To apply, post some form of a resume with any relevant information or persuasive details.

THANXOXOXO
ipokeder

edit: Or, if the details of your application are too private or pathetic to be divulged over the interweb, you can PM me.