Tuff Fish Las Vegas trip Part I

[Tuff_Fish]

I decided at the last minute to actually go to Las Vegas.

Go to Costco and get a pocket sized camera. Get money and ride to airport with brother in law. I was sitting, drinking my Karl Straus, waiting on my flight when it occurred to me that the plane boarding next to me was headed to Las Vegas too. Brilliant thought occurred to me. I amble over and ask if they have room since I bought a full fare ticket. Early arrival in Las Vegas. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]


Myself and an Asian girl are sitting on the shuttle. We strike up a conversation and I learn that: a) she has a PhD in NeuroScience (or something like that) from Case Western Reserve Univ in Cleveland, and b) She would like to meet a real live famous poker player. Turns out she is staying at the Imperial Palace too, and her friends driving from Los Angeles won’t be in for three more hours. We plan on meeting in an hour and I check out my room. It was decent enough and the price was ok. Decent view.





My plan is to hook up with GA and Goofyballer and get a couple of pictures with Asian girl. We make contact, they are at the PURE. We go over there but there is a 2 ½ hour wait. No way, so we have a couple more drinks, chat a bit. She graduated from a University in China, then came to the states for graduate school.

I can’t hear what GA is saying over the noise when I try to tell him we are downstairs, and they don’t come down. I’m told later that Goofyballer was making it with some girl, so I guess they were busy. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

Her friends arrive so we make it back to IP and I call it a night.

Day 2

Up at 7am. It is 90deg + outside already and people are JOGGING. Denny’s is already crowded, some folks are starting their day, some are ending theirs.

After breakfast I went to the Venetian to play poker. Got seated after a brief wait and proceeded to play for 11 hours. Glad I had my long sleeve corduroy shirt, the Venetian was COLD. Some internet players came and went, I don’t know if any of them knew me but no one let on. A couple of them did do some serious texting after sitting a bit though.

I would get up, get coolered or sucked out on and get down, get up get down… on and on. Had QQ lose to 89o after lady called a pretty hefty preflop raise. She was short stacked to boot. Helped me, hurt her.

I had been drinking all day, water that is. I decided to change my luck and ordered a double screwdriver. It started working fairly soon, won a couple of modest pots.

Finally get up about $100 and am thinking about leaving. I order one more double. (they weren’t short shotting me either.)

Get KK in MP. Older lady UTG tells dealer she meant to make it $5 to go, dealer says no. I tell her I will help her out and make it $5 to go. Guy to my left raises $20, button pushes. I push, original raiser tanks. I tell him I was only trying to isolate the button. Finally he calls.

I show KK, raiser shows QQ, button shows JJ.

I jump up and start with the “NO Queens, NO Jacks” business. JJ almost gets straight by the river, but I survive. Real nice pot.

I tip the dealer handsomely and when the cocktail waitress happens by, I toss her a redbird too.

Now I should leave, right? NOT. But I get KK again about 8 hands later. Got half a short stack, woulda got more but the flop had 10 10. Sorta dulled the action. Now I am up very nicely and getting a bit foggy too.

I cash out and go outside. WOW! I am wearing shorts and my legs had been freezing in the Venetian. Outside at 9:30PM it was 100deg+. My legs just started really tingling. And it was crowded. Folks everywhere. Take Times Square and Mardi Gras and put them in an oven, you have Las Vegas on 4th of July. Some folks didn’t seem to notice the heat. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Las Vegas is noisy everywhere and it is really hard to talk on a cell phone. GA had called but I couldn’t make out what the plan was. My Chinese friend called too, but I have no idea what she said. I think her and her friends were going to some club.

I was still hoping to introduce her to some for real interweb poker stars.

I walked back to the IP via Harrah’s. I will never understand people who sit at slot machines for hours. No interaction with folks, no challenge, no chance. If everybody thought like me, Las Vegas NV would look like Rachel NV. However, a bunch of people at one of the craps tables at Harrah’s seem to be having a rollicking good time. They had 6 people handling the table.

I tarried a bit then headed to bed. I was beat.

Day 3

Got up a little later. Headed over to the Rio. Met some 2+2ers and CardRunners guys.

I didn't know how to use my brand new camera, so I blew a lot of pictures. Please forgive the blurriness.










Taylor and Andrew showed up and we got pics.







I met lots of lovely young ladies. Too bad I am 100 years old, fat, ugly, and married.














I came back to the IP and decided to kill some time playing $1-2. Poker room at the IP is pretty frayed around the edges, a lot like the IP. We had a real donk game going, lots of bluffs, big call downs, lots of called raises. Some of the players knew what kind of game it was and played accordingly, some didn’t.

Noting significant happens with me until I call a community pot with 33. Flop is 883. Loose, bluffy, but kind of knowledgeable player raises the flop small. I call. Turn brings the flush which is 7h. I call his small bet hoping he hit the flush and is screwing with me. River brings another 7 for a 77883 board. The tricky, sometimes bluffer, bets pot+.

I make 2 fundamental mistakes of the sort that separates the real good players from the rest of the pack. Unfortunately, I am still a member in good standing of the pack.

Lesson 1: If someone bets big and COULD reasonably have a better hand…. DON’T RAISE OR PUSH. All that is going to happen is that you will lose your stack.

Lesson 2: The more subtle one. If your well designed trap play gets counterfeited, GIVE IT UP. Don’t bet or even call unless it is an affordable call. Just accept that you have been screwed by the poker gods. Save your money, and if he shows you a big bluff, tip your hat and say “nice play sir”.

I push, he calls and shows an 8. GG Tuff. This results in a genuine Tuff Fish moment. I wasn’t really foul but I stood up and loudly exclaimed “gawddammit you catch a lot of cards.”

As I prepared to stomp out, one of the other players said “well, don’t be mad”. I was calming down already though, so all I said to the winner was that I had been hoping he had the flush.

I walked back to my room muttering Tuff Fish invectives, #@%$#@! Stupid play, @!!#@%@! When will you ever learn, ufck me to tears, etc, etc, every step of the way. Was loud enough that a couple of old ladies heard me even over the din. I probably looked like one of the deranged homeless guys you see now and again downtown.

Stopped by the booze store on the way to my room. Got a small Smirnoff and OJ, and a sandwich. Headed up to get ready for the party.

Tuff Fish and the Las Vegas hooker:

I took a cab to the Rio, driver said it was 105deg still at 9:45 at night. I was sitting in the Ultra Lounge, drinking a beer and watching for any of the CardRunners guys to appear. Decent looking blond walks past and sort of glanced at me. I glanced back and didn’t think much of it. Then she reappears and casually strolls up and takes the seat beside me. I sort of have an inkling, but I give her the benefit of the doubt. Then she starts talking to me. Now, did I mention I am old, fat and ugly. No good looking blond is just going to start chatting me up out of nowhere. So, I try to play the hayseed.

She starts asking “are you here alone? “Yes”. “Enjoying yourself”? “Sure, very interesting place this Las Vegas”. “Have you had any luck with the ladies”? “Hey, I won with 2 queens yesterday”.

Then I asked if I could take her picture since the guys back home would never believe I talked to such a good looking girl.

“You can see a lot more of me upstairs”. “Nah, I am married”. “Your wife will never know”. “She is like Dr Spock, she touches my forehead and knows everything”.

This was the actual inane conversation we had. But no pics. She wasn’t having any of it. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]
I went outside and met up with the guys.

Nice limo ride to the Sapphire.






I knew it was a “gentleman’s club”, but I thought the group would have sort of like a banquet room or something, maybe somebody was going to give a short speech. Gasp! They had strippers in the room! [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

It was real noisy, but I met a bunch of great people.






I was, and still am, confused as to who is who except for a few. I met some by screen name, some by real name, some by both. It was great. Met tufat23. And yes indeed, he bought me a lap dance.

The girl comes over and asks me to move my chair back. I thought she just wanted to pass by. Then she started doing whatever it is they do when they do a lap dance. I nearly fainted. I haven’t been that close to that young a girl with that few clothes on for 30+ years.

And I am not sure I could take another lap dance when you can’t, “ummm, you know” at the end of it all. And there will be no “ummm, you know”, it is a question of life insurance and butcher knives.

Much fun. A couple of other girls came and sat in my lap. But there wasn’t gonna be any “ummm, you know”.

Left with tufat23 and Ed from the small stakes forum, and somebody else I think. We were waiting at the Rio in the aforementioned Ultra Lounge for GA and the crew to meet us.

There was a couple from Iowa at the bar, and another woman, perhaps the sister or sister in law. We conversed a bit. I was just standing there and the wife jumps up and says “lets dance”. She grabs me and gets REAL CLOSE. Holy Mackerel! [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] Now bear in mind the husband is sitting right there. She sort of grinds a bit, I am flatfooted and flabbergasted. The sister says sorta sharply, “xxxxx, SIT DOWN”. And she does. The husband stayed cool and it was obvious the wife was fairly tipsy. That was the end of THAT adventure. No “ummm, you know”, but Tuff sure knows he ain’t dead yet. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] Dang, I can see how one might end up hoping what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

GA, Goofyballer, and some others show up, and we go over to the Gold Coast where they shoot craps. I am dying by now, so I take my leave and cab it back to IP.

All in all an excellent evening. Thank you Cardrunners and Bluff magazine. A+++, would do it again.

End of Part I