The Worst Strategy You've Overheard at a Table

[TxRedMan]

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Just be grateful these people keep showing up with cash.

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[Slim Pickens]

Drunkern 2/4 at Gold Coast (the only kind of 2/4 at Gold Coast)

I raise preflop with A[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]K[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img], bet the two-[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] jack-high flop, bet the blank turn, and bet when I river a king. Middle-aged woman (who didn't completely suck) calls me down the whole way with JT for one pair. I table my hand and she rolls her eyes and lets out an audible disgusted groan.

Her: ...bluffing the whole way and caught it on the river.
Me: I had the flush draw, too.
Her: Yeah, but you had nothing until the river.

Then came the real gem.
"You'll always lose money betting when you don't even have a pair yet."

For those of you who want to scream "Don't teach the fish," I submit that they can't be taught poker. That's why they're fish. Duh.

[GTL]

this is kind of a blanket statement. horrible player who thinks he is awesome because he watches wpt raises. another player reraises. horrible player 4 bets. other player goes all in. horrible player calls. player who 5-bet shoved turns over KK or QQ. horrible player turns over JJ and loses the hand.

then he tells me under his breathe, "That guy down there is terrible. How could he go all in with QQ? I was representing AA. He is terrible."

[DZgroundhog]

1-2NL...Arrogant young guy limp-calls a raise with 52s for $12 leaving himself $18 behind. He flops trips, check-calls all-in and cracks aces. "That's why I saw a raise with that hand; I knew aces would double me up if I hit." Friends nod in approval.

[DrewOnTilt]

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1-2NL...Arrogant young guy limp-calls a raise with 52s for $12 leaving himself $18 behind. He flops trips, check-calls all-in and cracks aces. "That's why I only have
$30 left.

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Of course, we won't tell him that. Don't tap the glass. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[myxomatosized]

lol this is the greatest thread ever.

i used to play a lot with this really good friend of mine, who happens to be a total fish. this one time i had two queens and go all in on a rainbow flop of all unders (he's a total calling station.) he called me with three to a flush and i asked him how he could possibly call me without even a pair. he said "i was hoping two more hearts would come." we proceeded to get into a lofty and heated philosophical discussion about living your life expecting unlikely things to happen.

[rja87]

I live in Florida so we just have the awful $2 limit games, I've heard infinite funny quotes like these....

Had AA on the button, everyone limps of course, I raise so they all immediately hate me, end up losing to 10 5 on the river. Old guy next to me starts explaining that it is bad to raise with aces because I haven't hit anything yet. He's like they always show people winning with aces on TV but it doesn't really happen that often. Then the next hand some guy had 22 and hit a set and won, and he's like SEE thats a good hand to raise with.

[DMC0627]

I have only gone to the b&m once, but this is what I heard at a 4-8 limit table.

broke guy in seat 2 to broke guy in seat 3 - How come ALL the bad players have chips in front of them, and ALL (pointing to himself and 3) the good players are way down? reply from broke guy seat 3 who had bought in twice already - You're right! I am gonna start playing bad too!

[Neuge]

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he has the over-spades in his hand....

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Obviously correct.

I hate Mondays.

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At least this concept of double-counting outs is in your brain. Countless times I see people saying they had 17 outs with their straight flush draws. When I try to explain why you have 15 outs, sometimes it's like I'm trying to explain quantum physics.

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I was playing in a tourney one time, two people got all in on the turn. The guy all in had an oesd for 8 outs. An apparently competent old man said "that's not so bad, you're 2.5:1 to fill that straight." I gave a puzzled look, but didn't say anything. One of the fish asked how he knew that and the old man said "There are 28 cards left and 8 of them will win for him" (obv 20:8 odds). He was of course only counting the cards still physically in the dealer's hand (52-10*2-4=28).

I chuckled, but managed to keep it under my breath. Then the megadonk on my right tried to pay for his beer with tournament chips and I just burst out laughing.

[DrewOnTilt]

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I chuckled, but managed to keep it under my breath. Then the megadonk on my right tried to pay for his beer with tournament chips and I just burst out laughing.

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You win this thread.