![]() |
|
#1
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
If I had a child I would do those things because the child's needs would take priority over mine. But if I can avoid creating the need for those demands on my time in the first place then I'm not being selfish. You can't be selfish with respect to a non-being. I would only be acting selfish if I had the obligations and choose my own entertainment over the obligations.
|
#2
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
You're arguing semantics, Henry. The reason you don't want children is because you are selfish. It's all about you. How your life will be affected, how it will be a burden to you, how bored you will be.
You have been told the positives. You've been told how positively life-changing children are, but you don't believe it. All you can see are the negatives, which of course there are, but we are telling you they are far outweighed by the positives. You simply refuse to see it. Why is that? Because you're selfish. You don't want to see it. That's cool, man. You are who you are. And with your attitude, it's doubtful you'd make even a mediocre parent. You can justify it by semantics if you wish, and if it makes you feel better. But a spade is still a spade, even if you insist it's a shovel. |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
That isn't semantics. Unless I have a duty to breed, I'm not aware of, there is nothing selfish about my decision. The only individual impacted by my choice is myself. Which excludes the possibility of acting selfish.
[ QUOTE ] You have been told the positives. You've been told how positively life-changing children are, but you don't believe it. All you can see are the negatives, which of course there are, but we are telling you they are far outweighed by the positives. You simply refuse to see it. Why is that? Because you're selfish. You don't want to see it. [/ QUOTE ] No it is because those things have no value to me. You fail to understand that preferences are not universal. Is the concept that certain people have different preferences that hard to grasp? Many people devote hours to watching NASCAR. I can't stand NASCAR. If a NASCAR fan tried to convince me of the virtues and benefits of the sport and after considering it I still did not agree would you then maintain that I was simply refusing to see that the benefits of NASCAR outweighed the positives? This is the problem with people who choose to have children. The impact a child has on their life is so big that they have to convince themselves that it is the greatest thing in the world to justify it. Then they can't understand why rational individuals would be able to make any decision other than having a child. |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
[ QUOTE ]
The impact a child has on their life is so big that they have to convince themselves that it is the greatest thing in the world to justify it. [/ QUOTE ] Iīm pretty sure heīs saying they donīt "have to convince themselves". |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
The inability to see that parenthood is a choice with pros and cons and that some people might view the cons as greater than the pros is indicative of irrational behaviour similar to that found in religious fanatics and cults. They have self-deluded themselves to make their situation work.
|
#6
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
[ QUOTE ]
The inability to see that parenthood is a choice with pros and cons and that some people might view the cons as greater than the pros is indicative of irrational behaviour similar to that found in religious fanatics and cults. [/ QUOTE ] Of course they are irrational. The reason they put up with all the work and duties that come along with children is because they really really love them, and love is usually not a rational feeling. The same reason causes them to try and convince you that their children are a greater good for them than the "freedom" they would enjoy without them. Thereīs no reason for you to think most of them are "talking themselves" into that feeling, though. Itīs pretty clear that it is in the nature of parenthood to be in love with ones children. |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
[ QUOTE ]
They have self-deluded themselves to make their situation work. [/ QUOTE ] Isn't it strange then that not one single parent has said they regret having children in this thread? Not one. That means that EVERY SINGLE PARENT is delusional, or you're just talking out of your ass. I choose the latter. |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] They have self-deluded themselves to make their situation work. [/ QUOTE ] Isn't it strange then that not one single parent has said they regret having children in this thread? Not one. That means that EVERY SINGLE PARENT is delusional, or you're just talking out of your ass. I choose the latter. [/ QUOTE ] I'm surprised nobody has mentioned it, but Ann Landers famously found that 70% of parents who responded to her question would not have children if they could make the decision again. The column (from the '70s) is reprinted here on this "childfree" site. Obviously this is somewhat dated, and not scientific, but it does demonstrate that the lack of regret you think is universal is not. It's true that this example is used in at least one textbook as an example of an unreliable self-selected sample, but the same text says a scientific survey found that 91% of parents would have kids again. Quite a difference, but at the same time, 91% is not 100%. That's nearly 1 in 10 parents who have the regrets you are ignoring. I'd be interested in finding similar "regret" stats for people who choose not to have children. BTW, you seem to have changed your tune in this thread. Earlier, you said you don't think those who choose childlessness are defective, but you hope they don't later have regrets. Now, you declare that Henry has willfully refused to "see the light" as you see it, and is therefore selfish. There's a recent politics thread titled "what's wrong with america (7 words or less)". My submission was "Everyone thinks his opinions should be mine." Seems apt in this situation. Childfree couples merely want to have their choice be acknowledged as reasonable and worthy of respect. Some parents want to have their choice acknowledged as correct. |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
[ QUOTE ]
Isn't it strange then that not one single parent has said they regret having children in this thread? Not one. That means that EVERY SINGLE PARENT is delusional, or you're just talking out of your ass. I choose the latter. [/ QUOTE ] Isn't there some middle ground? Certainly some parents could be delusional, convincing themselves that having kids was the best thing that ever happened to them, and some could genuinely feel that way, right? Henry wins this thread. Just because you love your kids doesn't mean everyone else needs to have kids. That's just retarded. |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
[ QUOTE ]
Many people devote hours to watching NASCAR. I can't stand NASCAR. [/ QUOTE ] Oh man, not only are you attempting to alienate all parents in this thread, but now you've taken on every redneck on the planet as well! [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img] [ QUOTE ] The impact a child has on their life is so big that they have to convince themselves that it is the greatest thing in the world to justify it. [/ QUOTE ] Henry, your worldview has been confusing me this entire thread, but this one takes the cake. Everything we parents have been telling you is the exact opposite of this. YOU are the one trying to convince himself. We need no convincing at all, we're experiencing it, and we pretty much unanimously agree. But then, I guess that's what those of us in a cult do, right? |
![]() |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|