Disadvantages of dating a doctor or med student...

[keikiwai]

I think planning is the key to making it work. So you have to be open about the amount of time you're going to spend with each other, and whether there's any way you can help her with her time (like buying her a nice dinner or making her a nice dinner while she studies once every so often).

If you plan the time, and then make sure the time you spend together is quality, and not just her venting, then it could work if both of your are the independent types and don't mind the time away from each other.

One thing about doctors is that they are generally tough as nails, so if she decides she wants to make it work, I'm sure she can. But the decision has to be mutual, and it's gonna be relatively tough, and take some honest planning together imo.

[ItalianFX]

[ QUOTE ]
I think planning is the key to making it work. So you have to be open about the amount of time you're going to spend with each other, and whether there's any way you can help her with her time (like buying her a nice dinner or making her a nice dinner while she studies once every so often).

If you plan the time, and then make sure the time you spend together is quality, and not just her venting, then it could work if both of your are the independent types and don't mind the time away from each other.

One thing about doctors is that they are generally tough as nails, so if she decides she wants to make it work, I'm sure she can. But the decision has to be mutual, and it's gonna be relatively tough, and take some honest planning together imo.

[/ QUOTE ]

She gets stressed when we plan on when we can see each other too. So we let things work themselves out, and then it's a problem because we never see each other. I'd go down on Monday after class, stay over, and drive back Tuesday morning because I don't start class until 12:30. When I would go there I'd always make her dinner while she studied. I'd sit in the living room while she studied in her room. But she wanted to be near me when I was there and she felt like she had to accompany me as a guest and she felt bad if she didn't, so she never got any quality studying in.

For me, I don't mind the time away. I know in my heart she is there, I hold that bond everywhere I go. She can't seem to do that. She wants to see me more, so I say I'll look into getting a job in that area so that we are closer, but her response is, "even if you're here, I still don't know if I'll be able to see you that much." She just likes to know that I'd be there when she wanted me to.

When I was in Kosovo I applied to her school to transfer. I was denied because they weren't taking anymore transfer students. She wanted me to try to transfer so that we'd be closer. After she broke up with me I asked her if she would have broken up with me if I transferred, and she said she would have. That sucked because she wanted me to transfer to be closer, yet if I would have, it would have been a mistake because I get 100% free tuition through the military where I go now.

So there are no plans with her. She openly admits that she didn't put me first.

[luckybacon]

i dunno one thing ive always been taught and think it holds truth, is if a girl is really jealous always thinks ur cheating etc, she might be cheating

[ItalianFX]

[ QUOTE ]
i dunno one thing ive always been taught and think it holds truth, is if a girl is really jealous always thinks ur cheating etc, she might be cheating

[/ QUOTE ]

This girl isn't like that and I know she isn't. I trust her without a doubt. She's not some party player who is always looking for a flirt. She's very goal oriented, knows what she wants, and goes and gets it. The problem is, when she has to start dodging things and making decisions, she gets flustered and stressed.

[luckybacon]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i dunno one thing ive always been taught and think it holds truth, is if a girl is really jealous always thinks ur cheating etc, she might be cheating

[/ QUOTE ]

This girl isn't like that and I know she isn't. I trust her without a doubt. She's not some party player who is always looking for a flirt. She's very goal oriented, knows what she wants, and goes and gets it. The problem is, when she has to start dodging things and making decisions, she gets flustered and stressed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Alright thats great then. I just kinda skimmed the thread and saw that. Just kind of the benchmark I use alot and its usually right. Of course there are completely instances where it doesnt hold true in your case. Sorry didnt mean to derail the thread. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[burningyen]

I am currently dating a 1st-year med student. Yes, it takes planning, work and patience, but it just doesn't sound like your girl is that into you.

[ItalianFX]

[ QUOTE ]
I am currently dating a 1st-year med student. Yes, it takes planning, work and patience, but it just doesn't sound like your girl is that into you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've talked to her everyday since we broke up. I think she wants to keep me around, but doesn't want the obligation to have to call me or worry about talking to me. I've always told her I don't mind if she doesn't call because I know what she is working towards. She agrees, but it's never good enough because she'll sit there and think about calling me and when she doesn't call she feels like I'll get upset. Which reminds me...she's also the type who tries to feel for other people, so even when I'm perfectly fine, she thinks I'm upset because she would be upset. I told her to stop thinking about how I feel and just let things go, but that is never good enough.

[keikiwai]

[ QUOTE ]


She gets stressed when we plan on when we can see each other too. So we let things work themselves out

[/ QUOTE ]

idk, i think irieguy got it

if you can't get past this, it's not gonna work imo

[kafkaFan1]

hey italian, you sound like a great guy but to be honest, i can't say the same about the girl you are with. I think you are hearing words coming out of her mouth where she tells you how much she loves you... but i don't believe them becuase she is saying one thing, and then DOING SOMETHING ELSE entirely. she seems pretty crazy and the problem doesn't seem to be that she's a doctor or whatnot, she doesn't seem to like you nearly as much as you like her. granted i dont have much experience with girls but that is my read on the situation. gl.

[MicroBob]

I think the problems have more to do with the type of person she is then the fact that she's a medical-student.
Somebody said this girl is crazy and I agree. That oil-change incident is nuts and she would behave in such a way regardless of her med-student status.

Yeah, she's going to have stress and long hours. I get that.
But I don't think your problems are necessarily universal to all people who date med-students. It's more her own personality and problems.

In short, I think you would have a lot of these exact same problems if she was an office-secretary or waitress or school-teacher.


About the whole "she's the one" thing:
There are other gals out there...and some that you WILL mesh with better or will treat you better.
I've been around the block a tad and am still something of a hopeless romantic and have been in and out of love more than once and also married and divorced.

Lost love and heartbreak suck. Especially when you're younger and perhaps less secure and/or experienced I think although I don't know if that's the case for you.
But if you can have confidence in yourself then you will be able to fall in love with someone new and great and you can learn from your mistakes.

It really sounds like your current relationship is not a healthy one AT ALL and even if you make it work and solve a couple of the problems now you are just going to have some repeating-pattern type things continue to happen probably for as long as you are with this person.