Things that annoy you about live poker.

[banzi]

I figured this might be theraputic so here goes. In no particular order:

1. Extreme rakes at low limits, plus tips, plus a jackpot drop I'll never see.

2. People who educate bad players at the table. I don't care if she played 63o for three bets and cracked my AA. Shut the hell up and let her call off her money and bitch to her husband that she never wins, because she never does.

3. Anyone who uses the following:
- "You play that junk?"
- Any Antonio Enfandiari saying, especially "Weeeee!"

4. People who say "Who raised?" when it's three of us in the pot, I'm on the button and there's four chips in front of me. No, it wasn't me Ma'am. It was someone else who raised then folded their cards.

5. Slowrollers. If you bet on the river HU and I call you, you roll first. Easy. Simple. Learn it. Live it. Love it.

6. As for 5. - If it's multi-way, it's the original bettor and then clockwise around.

7. People who comment on the board, possible hands, what they think I have and so on. Shut the hell up. Especially when I've asked you nicely twice.

8. Dealers who won't enforce number 7 because they're scared of someone stiffing them on their tips.

9. "Where are you from?". It's pretty easy to figure it out by the way I talk. When I answer, don't say "Oh, I thought you were Australian". Moron.

10. I'm going to throttle the next person who berrates a bad loose passive calling station who calls me down to the end with no pair no draw to hit their set on the river. I really don't care - in fact, give me a table full of these idiots. Stop being the "table parent" and coaching the people we depend on to make mistakes!. I know I already said this one - it's my biggest pet peeve.

11. Any kid (read: "Under 25") who says "ell oh ell", "ell oh ell donkaments" or any variation there of.

12. People who agonize for 5 minutes over a $4 call on the river.

13. Dealers who don't know the rules of the game. There's far too many incompetent dealers in LV card rooms, and yet it's almost impossible for a competent dealer to get a job here. I'm glad I don't deal anymore.

14. People who wear sunglasses/hoodies and iPods at 2/4 limit. Are you kidding me? I honestly think sunglasses should be banned from card rooms. You wanna pretend your're Phil Laak? Great - go get a fleshlight and pretend it's Jennifer Tilly while saying "I looove you guys! I love my life!".

There's more, but I'm getting a headache.