Hypothetical Management Decision re: non-tipping patron of restaurant

[mbillie1]

If it were my restaurant I'd ask the non-tipping patrons (if they were frequent/regular non-tippers) not to come back any more. Then I'd probably take the hottest waitress into the back room and bang her. Then I'd go out to the ugliest, laziest redneck customer I had and smack him across the face with my [censored].

Then I'd open a specifically online-poker-player-themed restaurant full of super hot waitresses and fantastic food, lure all of you nits in, then when you didn't tip, just splooge all over your faces from a perch above the door while you left.