jokes you've made IRL that flopped

[Low Key]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
In college I had a pretty straight-laced professor who was one day waxing about relationships and how he had been married for 25+ year (or whatever it was)

He asked rhetorically :

"Do you know how to keep your interest in the bedroom going strong after 25 years?"

I blurted out so that the whole class could hear:

"Turn the lights off?"

About 1/4 of the class laughed, even though they tried to keep it in. 1/4 of the class gasped in shock and the rest just sat there in stunned silence.

The professor paused and just went on like nothing had happened.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would have been in the 1/4 that laughed.... that's pretty funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

I may be drunk, but I just almost fell out of my seat laughing at this one. ..Wait, maybe the drunk thing makes it funnier..


Oh wait, I remember a total bomb I made recently now!

I was watching a documentary with this girl about a POW during the Vietnam war (You can just tell this is going to end badly, right?), and he started talking about how he was like hallucinating while wandering thru the forrest escaping and thought this giant ape was following him around. It occurred to him that at some point, this ape or monkey or bear perhaps was essentially like a pet of his, and I blurt out, "Well hey, how many people get to have a bear (ape, monkey, whatever) for a pet?" ....dead silence....

No, I take that back, I think the silence was so deafening, to me at least, that it was louder than Hiroshima. =P

Now that I think about it.. Rape jokes are just a bad idea. Especially when you **** them up. They're just too delicate of jokes to try to deliver. I screwed one up so horribly recently that even I wanted to punch myself.

A master wordsmith could have possibly delivered it with impecable timing and word decisions, but not my drunk ass at that moment.