Conundrum i is in - REALLY LONG no tl;drs please

[diebitter]

I translated into pirate to see if it's easier to read:



Ok th' aft poop deck story be this, Im 27 but about 5 voyages ago (aye 5 bloody voyages ago) I be mad in love wi' me beauty at th' time. I be nerein a serious relationship before that on accoun' o' basically b4 th' lass' I thought relationships be soul drainers an' really couldnt understand why a guy would give up his freedom etc etc

Before I had eremet th' lass' I be livin' in Dublin at th' time an' me best mate be crashin' wi' me fer about 3 or 4 moons. 't be cool , I`d go t' work an' then get homeport an' we`d sit up playin' computer games all night gettin wasted an' basicaly be havin' a pretty cool time, then th' weekends go ou' an' be havin' a mad one. th' usual really.

Me mate (he needs a name fer reference later, lets say Tom lol) be from another part o' Ireland an' one Sundee night when he be comin aft t' dublin (we be goin' t' be seein' a Pink Floyd co'er band) he met some lasses from 'ere he lives on th' bus, now he be a looker an' lasses be usually mad fer th' lad's. So he rang me an' told me off a pub t' meet them all in. So after work i headed into th' city t' meet up wi' Tom an' these lasses i neremet.

Soooo..somethign funny happened me on th' bus on th' way in, long story short---squadron o' spanish kids tried embarrassig me at a bus avast, about 30 kids all wavin' at me, then th' guy in fore starts wavin' aft..blah blah--- so i be tellin dave (i thought nay one be listening) an' then *she* started laughin' an' i be nereso drawin' t' someone in me life...i be like WTF, 't be instantanious (obv wrong spellin) , I cant explain 't, e'en when Tom introuduced me t' th' lasses 't be yer normal Ahoy, Ahoy, Ahoy, Ahoy *forget all names* kinda thin'

But in that moment i be drawin' t' th' lass', fer th' rest o' th' tide everywhere we sailed' we sat together, got eack other drikns an' instantly became great shipmates, funny thin' be she spent th' tide tellin me she fancied Tom an' told th' lass', ill look into 't an' sort th' lass' ou'. (on a side note me mate be such a plonker an' managed t' mess 't up wi' th' douche bag "I know ye want me" line LOL an' they didnt end up scorin' each other...th' gig be savage BTW

So sorry fer ramblin', anyway we o' course swapped numbers an' kept in touch on nearly a daily basis. Then one tide she invited me down t' meet th' lass' an' put an "x" in th' SMS which be obvious somethin' be brewin', so LDO i got on th' next bus an' arrived in Galway 'ere she be in college,luckily alot o' shipmates be studyin' thar too an' 't be always insane/blackout/pills all ou' madness anytime i sailed' ou' wi' them so i be happy ou' wit me wee trip down. BTW I stil hadnt mentioned she be beautiful, one o' them faces o' beauty rather sexy if ya know what i mean

I arrived about 8 an' got loaded t' th' gunwhales wi' me mates in the'r house all th' time gettin extremely nervous/anxious bout meetin' up. I knew we be gonna get together an' i be excited wee boy. Only one problem me mates sailed' an' got Buckfast fer sea dogs an' land lubbers which i doubt many o' ye know as its a Scottish drink but basically 't sends sea dogs an' land lubbers mental, pumped wi' caffeine i be havin' nay idee why its nay illegal an' th' funny thin' be its made by monks in a monastary, ask ere from Galway about 't ...Jeesh...dont b'lieve me google 't

So i be 1/3 way through me keg an' all be good, we had planned 'ere we be goin' t' meet an' all be hunky dorey....but all o' a sudden 't be pitch black...WTF 'ere be ever' one, all i could hear be "aAAAaaah lemme oout", obv i be confused but i be also hammered, i then realised i be in bunk ****** Eyeballed me watch an' 't be 2:30am WTF me mates let me sleep ...when did i go t' bunk...CHIT!!!!

So i got up ,sailed' into th' hall an' another mate who be bannanas loaded t' th' gunwhales be runnin' round th' house shoutin' "BASTIDS BASTIDS LOCKED US IN" lol he be one o' th' funniest guys id ereknown fer bein' loaded t' th' gunwhales, when sober be a mute an' when he got loaded t' th' gunwhales esp on buckie he let rip. I had blacked ou' an' crashed, me mated tried everythin' but couldnt wake me so put me t' bunk, obviously i had numerous missed calls an' texts from Th' lass' an' when irang th' lass' an' told th' lass' th' story she wasnt t' happy. She spake I be a disaster an' theres nay point meetin' up. This obv sucked an' i be so pist off

Me mates arrived aft from th' nightclubs an' we stayed up all night gettin wrecked. Then around 6 in th' morngin' me mates tryin t' cheer me up spake lets go t' th' pub. Now in Ireland goin' t' th' pub at 6 in th' mornin' cant usually be done but in Galway theres a bar fer "th' jacks" LOL open all night. If ye could eresee such a place its hilarious, 't be done up now since i be thar but at th' time...me god

Picture a bar (at 6 in th' mornin' when yer ou' o' yer skull) half full o' Winos, guys tellin ye "th' Lord be comin' soon" kinda BS an' th' other half full o' lively students ou' on an all night session..what a mix, what a pub, what a dump! 't be filth mixed in wi' more filth but we be all buzzin so we didnt care. Thar be one hade fer th' guys an' when i staggered into a girl who be inworse shape than me, that hade be th' best place fer us t' go...so go we did. Fer about an hour th' door be bein' banged on by loaded to the gunwhales customers, some winos shoutinthe nuttiest chit, we both ignored them aswe ripped th' clothes o' each other in th' dirtiest hade ye ereseen! Finally th' owner o' th' pub unlocked th' door. "Get th' [censored] ye wee chits a brains" as i lifted th' lass' off th' deck we laughed toegther! Obviously assumin I be bein' thrown ou' i sailed' o'er t' say good arrrr t' me mates but th' barman spake "Ya`ll prob need a pint after that?...Cider" loL Yeh an' one fer th' lass' too!

Talk bout gettin side tracked in me story jessh

Anyway She rang me th' next tide an' spake Sorry bout last night an' i o' course apologised fer f**kin up major, i wa sdisgusted wi' myself fer bein' such a clown so I got dressed port that strangers house an' headed into meet th' lass'

Long story short we met up that night an' that be that, we be offically goin' ou', I be gob smacked that i had met a girlthat had such an affect on me. O'er time I fell mad in love wi' th' lass' an' she me, I be now startin t' be seein' what relationships be all about. I be a new man an' pitied me old beliefs , relationships (wi' th' starboard swabbie) be amazin' an' this be nay different.

fast fore 2 voyages me mate Tom moved t' Holland t' work in sound engineerin' an' me an' Th' lass' be still together until we go through a rough patch, we be plannin t' go t' Spain in a tides time t' visit shipmates an' then me parents but we had a huge swashbuckle on th' phone, she didnt seem erself an' i kept on harpin on about "What be 't , theres somethin'...do ye want t' break up" kinda chit t' th' point 'ere she spake Arrr yeh i do..i slammed th' phone down an' keel hauled straight ou' th' door at work. I wasnt used t' us fightin' an' assumed we be finished cause me bein' a stubborn prick certainly wasnt ringin' th' lass' aft t' change th' lass' mind /read as i tried about 50 times/

So me first thin' be t' get th' f**k outta 'ere i be, i needed t' get away , She wasnt *that* serious when she first spake 't t' me bout us bein' o'er but i think th' idee grew in th' lass' hade an' she stuck wi' 't. So in a knee jerk reaction sailed' t' visit me hearty in Holland, we sailed' up t' Amsterdam t' "blow off some steam" , we got wrecked

Th' next tide i sailed' down t' Malaga n spain t' visit me parents who be on holidays an' a matey who taught english thar. They knew Th' lass' pretty well an' be devestated we be finished, me mate arrived that night an' we sat up all night drinkin an' talkin about th' break up, lasses an' ever' sorta chit 2 guys do. Our plans be t' spend 2 days thar, play some golf then hade up t' Barcalano 'ere 2 o' me heartys be after arrivin'. I lived wi' one o' them in dublin an' th' other guy John be th' guy i got locked in th' house wi' in Galway.

So me an' me hearty crashed bout 6 in th' mornin' when i got a phone call at about 9 in th' mornin', 't be me house mate in Barcalona "Man theres been an accident, john be dead" Me mate drown in th' sea in barcalona, they be ou' all night in "th' square" an' about 5 in th' mornin' tookst loads a coke wi' some guy they jus' met an' sailed' t' th' beach. John suggested "first t' swim ou' t' that Bouy (thin' that floats in water) an' then run o'er an' touch th' homeless guy wins" they did but john didnt make 't aft.

So straight away me an' me mate sailed' up t' barcalona an' as ye can imagine th' next wee tides/moons be fairly nutty

He be some character an' fer tides we sat around drinkin tellin stories bout th' lad's an' really gettin through 't together. Very hard t' lose a matey at 20 when ye think ye be all invincable etc

Th' whole next 2 moons seem such a blurr, ever' tide be a nightmare an' i really couldnt spend time thinkin about Th' lass' an' th' break up, everythin' else seemed more imprtant, me problems shrank up

But this had a lastin' affect on me, when all th' dut finally settled i be alone.She be gone an' then 't hit me how much i missed th' lass'. I didnt get in tuch wi' th' lass' or th' lass' shipmates an' tried avoidin' talkin about th' lass' but i always thought o' th' lass', sleepness night an' all that BS that comes wi' a broken heart. I jus' couldnt shake 't off. I wanted th' lass' t' rin' me an' talk t' me but she neredid,i convinced me self ah screw 't she deserves better anyway...then i heard sh be seein someone else. this be about 5 tides after th' break up....that hurt big time

Anyway TH' POINT O' ALL THIS POST BE ....o'er th' voyages she kept in touch wi' me wi' simple emails maybe once or twice a moon jus' t' keep in check. Id always reply in a friedly way an' try t' end th' email convo early cause 't always hurt t' hear from th' lass'. I jus' nerefelt closure on th' whole relationship an' thought we woudl end up aft together bt knew we woudlnt kinda thin'. So i neregot in touch wi' th' lass'

Then about 2 moons ago she text t' say she`d be in me hometown an' did i wanna meet up. I o' course obliged , nervously admittedly.I sailed' into town t' get some snazzt clothes before we meet up, i be helpin a laddie move all tide an' be filthy when in town shoppin only t' get a text say "Ahoy look abroadside" thar she be across th' road...BALLS! So typical...but anyway we hung ou' fer th' 1st time in voyages an' had a blast, sailed' shoppin together an' caught up. We planned t' meet around 9 that night

Again 't be a bit o' a disaster. Before i sailed' into meet th' lass' i be in shipmates house, some friedns be takn some coke so i reckoned ahoy that might help th' nerves cause e'en tho 't be o'er 4 voyages ago i still held a flame fer th' lass'. But i managed t' take waaaay too much so when i met th' lass' i be in a state, she kept askin what be wrong so i told th' lass' i be wasted...lol donktown

We sailed' abroadside fer a smoke an' i started tellin th' lass' how i nerethought we got closure an' dammit seein ye today brought old feelings aft etc

She then sat down on th' footpath an' spake sit down...Me heart skipped a beat. I wanna tell ye somethin'...Arrr arrr what be 't....Im goin' ou' wi' someone she spake....BALLS, arrr cool , yer a good lookin girl, thats natural whatso hard totell me i spake (while o' course feelin me soul leak ou' me feet!) ..well its someone ye know..its Tom (BIG BALLS!!)
Me an' Tom had drifted o'er th' voyages but still kept in touch , he nerementioned they be seein each other

I spake its best if i go homeport an' port th' lass' aft t' th' lass' shipmates in th' other pub an' sailed' homeport sickened. I got in touch wi' Tom an' told th' lad's its too much an' i cant be mates wi' either o' them anymore. After about 2 tides Tom emailed me sayin they decided t' avast seein each ohter outta resepect fer me but i told them nay need its all got too wierd anyway so go fer 't but they didnt.

Me an' Th' lass' text each other o'er next wee days an' i made a complete fool o' myself, basically tellni th' lass' how i held onto belief we`d get aft together o'er th' voyages which admittedlly be pretty pathetic,I did be seein' someone from england fer a voyage in between but i nerefelt as strong abut ere but Th' lass'. She tookst 't all in but nereseem t' reack ou' t' me so i always felt like a tool after bein' in touch wi' th' lass', ever' god dam time!!!

Then lol I hear TWO tides later that she be goin' ou' wi' someone from me homeport town!! WTF how can i get away from th' lass', th' guy be a cousin o' John me hearty who drown in spain...hes a guitarist in a popular band in dublin but hes from me hometown, i actually bumped into th' lass' at 1 o' the'r gigs in dublin bout a voyage ago. Oh me hade, but once i realised that she be capable o' goin' from Tom t' me heartys cousin showed she didnt care fer me feelings at all so i emailed th' lass' sayin She be a clown. Thats all i spake, she straight away emailed aft an' text me sayin how can i say that blah blah blah

I nerereplied an' that be th' last time ive been in touch. That be about 2 moons ago an' now i hear they broke up lol

Last high tide' she sent me a shipmates invite on Facebook....i nearly fell off me chair!! WTF I eyeballed th' lass' page an' nay Tom or other fellas fer that matter

What do i do....

1/ignore th' lass' cause shes causin me headaches fer 4 voyages now an' will prob hurt me again
2/ send th' lass' a message sayin youve some cheek
3/accept an' be seein' what happens?!?

(avast postin on 2+2 prolly lol)