Dear Villains

[The Bryce]

I would like to communicate to the people who sit to play heads-up and sit up after five or ten minutes. Note that we are not discussing hit-and-run players, as they are more than welcome to martingale it up and I am, in fact, quite fond of their chips. What we are instead discussing the competitive or semi-competitive player who, after playing for a short time realize that he or she will not be able to win the match simply because he or she thinks it would be a nice idea to do so and sit up, often making a comment such as "brb" or "back in one sec" with no intention of returning.

I would just like to make it clear that, if you guys would just like to quit, I will neither be writing nasty letters to your mothers, nor will I tease you on the playground. I'm a busy guy, and frankly I would rather be doing other things than wait around five, ten, or fifteen minutes to continue the match. So please, the next time you'd like to quit, say so and I promise to keep it our little secret and not think any nasty thoughts about you which might damage your precarious ego.