Don't Try Alli

[Kid Dakota]

Okay, I'll admit it, I'm pretty overweight. I've tried just about EVERY weight loss drug/program out there. Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, NutriSystem, you name it. When I heard about a new drug called Alli that was guaranteed to reduce weight, I was skeptical. But after reading an array of reviews online, I decided to give it a go. Although no life-threatening risks are associated with it, one potential problem is...loose stools. After doing some due dilligence on the product, though, it appeared as though the situation would only occur if I fell of the wagon and begin over-eating, which I was determined wasn't going to happen.

One month into the diet and everything was fine. I lost 15 lbs and was feeling great. I was doing very well following fat intake (for the most part) and had been working out regularly without any sludgy side effects. Then, three days ago I was craving some Ben & Jerry's Cinnabun Ice Cream. I just had to have it as a treat for all my hard work (figured I would just have a long workout session the following day). So I get to the gym change into my clothes only to find I did not bring any underwear to workout in. Unfortunately, I wear long boxers and could not wear them with my gym shorts, so I thought no biggie. I lifted for about 30 minutes and got on the treadmill to run for a half hour, and thats when it happened. I was doing a sprint at about 7.0 after about 15 minutes of running. Forgeting I had no underwear on let (what I thought) was a string of bubble farts slip only to turn around to a group of young ladies screaming at me. Hearing them through my mp3 I take off my headphones and realize I had somehow [censored] on the back of my shoe and on the treadmill and it was getting thrown backwards where there was a couple of teenage girls staring at me with their mouths open.

I ran out of there as soon as I could and am considering cancelling my membership.