So I Called 911 Tonight...

[Lazy Meatball]

After a long night of drinking in a college apartment my friend Wilson had been engaged in a drinking contest with our friend Mike involving a shot glass named "The Pirate" which held like maybe 8 shots. A gravity bong housing a gallon gatorade jug was also involved. So Wilson gets extremely inebriated and starts to get all gangsta and decides to put his fist through a window. Only the top part of the window was down, so it was more like two panes of glass at once. As I'm wrestling with him to stop and no one around is helping me because they are [censored] up and assume we are just screwing around, Wilson pulls his shirt off, wraps it around his arm, and proceeds to put his whole arm through these two panes of glass, ripping his arm open on the way out. Blood spirts all over the kitchen

I call 911 and someone else gets a towel and puts pressure on the wound. Wilson keeps insisting that he's fine and that all he needs is a cigarette. Ambulance arrives and the EMT's probably realize that if they enter the house they are going to have to be witnesses to all the underage drinking and illegal substances and stand at the door and let Wilson come out to them. Mike's little brother than pukes on someone's shoes and a few people get to work cleaning up the blood and chunks of arm fat from the kitchen.

The next day Wilson comes home after spending the night in the hospital, and pulls out an ounce of weed that apparently he had in his pocket the whole time and lights up and we play Fifa World Cup for PS2