Beat: I need Books to read in Prison

[RPatterson67]

When I moved to Mexico some of my roommate's girlfriend's luggage (who was moving in) got mixed in with mine because she is a stupidass and put them down next to mine. So they wound up getting flown here.

I didn't really care because it wasn't my fault, and he owes me 500 dollars. So he sends me a myspace msg like when are you shipping back her bags? And I don't respond cause I'm playing sngs, trying to look at porn, etc.

Then today he sends me a message threatening to issue a felony warrant! As if that would be a felony to begin with, not withstanding the circumstances. There is any evidence or cause to issue a warrant. Or it would be enforced while I'm in Mexico.

I can just picture the federalis bursting in any minute to ship me back to America for my prison sentence over a bag of shoes. What is my play bbv? Wat it do!? Help me craft a funny response.