Infidelity

[Tablerat]

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Maybe there was a time when lots of people recognized that caring well for one's children is just more important than life-long romance?

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Such a great post.

Adultery enters a whole new level when children are involved. If the events are exactly as OP describes, then that means his wife started the affair when their twins were one. This fact is absolutely disgusting to me. I mean, sure, I'll enter a discussion about whether there should be punitive measures against her, but that's not the point. The point is that there are nine people immediately affected in this scenario. That's slim and his family and his wife's lover and his family. It's just not a healthy environment for the children (all five) to be reared in my opinion. The twins, for example, are completely dependent on (and are imprinting from) a mother who is in complete emotional disarray. But now is not the time for blame or longings for the past. Now is the time for the parents to get all their [censored] together for their kids. OP and his wife are at a serious crossroads for their kids' sake. There is still so much work to be done.

We live in a society where the norm is still a monogamous marriage with children; whether or not this paradigm is most consistent with our biological and emotional inclinations, is still unknown to me. Yet we, as a society, still cling to that tradition, almost hopelessly, despite terribly depressing statistics. Maybe it's time for some type of modification - or at the very least an openness to discussion. Slim also mentions that they've been together for 14 years. Probably married young. What were their original motives? In what state was their relationship when they decided to have children?

I wish this were an isolated incident, but it isn't; I hear scenarios like slim's all the time.

"There's no such thing as bad children, only bad parents."

I hope things work out for all involved.