2+2 lame thread of the day

[WichitaDM]

I guess i am looking for some advice on females although this situation is really not that complicated and im probably making it out to be bigger than it is.

Basically about 8 years ago i started dating this girl. I really liked her for a lot of reasons but she was uptight about drinking, smoking pot, gambling etc. So basically for the first year of the relationship i just did all of these things without telling her, she never found out. Towards the end of year 1 i cheated on her with two different girls. About this time she started to suspect something was up, eventually i broke down and told her everything. Of course she broke up with me.

How i handled it was quitting doing all of those things. For two years i walked the straight and narrow even went to church with her etc, because i did really love this girl and wanted things to work out, eventually we got back together. Then about 3 1/2 years in she broke up with me. The next year was spent getting back together and breaking up, on her terms except for once. The thing was she had turned 21, had met a new group of friends and started going out to the bars 3-4 nights a week. Of course i felt betrayed because i felt i had sacrificed a lot to give up drinking etc and [censored] just hit the fan. Relationship over.

For the next year i spent most of my time drinking, smoking pot and banging about any girl i could get my hands on. Towards the end of this time i met a nice girl that i started dating seriously and i am still dating her to this day. We have been dating for three years plus now.

I will say it took me a while to get over my ex, and it led to a lot of soul searching because i realized i was living my life for someone other than myself, and that backfired on me. But eventually i got over it for the most part. We talked every once in a while, about 50/50 on initiating it. A year ago i sent her a text basically asking her what she was up to these days, and i get one back basically telling me not to contact her anymore, she has met someone. Well ok , i have no problems with that.

A year passes and last week she tries to add me on facebook. While this isnt a big deal at all, i simply hit ignore, having her brought back up in my mind has brought on very strong and vivid dreams of us getting back together and the activities that would normally ensue with that. The impact has been very strange to me. It has made me tempted to call her, even though i know its a bad idea.

So basically the reason for this post is to ask OOT, Do you every get over someone you loved? I thought i was over her and it has been 4 years, but the impact this has had on me is kinda apalling to myself honestly. Is there any reason to continue to torture myself "keeping in touch" with this person? Sorry if this post is too long or too boring, i appreciate any advice people have had in similar situations.