Last nights trip report

[Speel Posher]

What it do BBV? I had a wierd night last night and i am still kind of drunk typing this so here goes.

So my girlfriend is going on her period in a couple of days so that leaves me out of the sexual favors business for at least a week, and no matter how hard i try she wont do oral sex.

I decide that i am going to try and have one last hurrah before the week of hell ensues. I plan this nice little date at a sushi bar we have gone to a couple of times before.(taco bell's reservations were full and she doesnt get in the mood with a number 6 with chicken and nacho cheese sauce and a raspberry brisk ice tea to wash it down...which obviously sucks)

So we go there and it takes a half hour to get service, despite the fact that there are 8 tables and 4 waiters/waitress' working. The sushi chef was a nice guy and tried to help us out, but before he could do it the moody waitress comes in. i could tell right away that this fat thing serving us was going to be trouble. we finally get our food and as she gives us the bill(no "thanks for coming" or "sorry for the [censored] service because i am a ho") she starts mocking the chef in front of everybody at the bar.

this pisses me off because this fat tramp hadnt done anything all night and the guy was working pretty hard so when i get the bill of 48.97 i decide to leave her 49.00 total.

for all of you math majors i tipped her 3 cents on a 50 dollar tab. I am more balla than that, but if you give me lousy service i am giving you a lousy tip.

As we walk out to the car i am feeling pretty frustrated. I am almost 100 percent certain that sexaments are not going down and i will have to spend the next week in front of my computer trying to console my penis. As i turn around i see the waitress walk out the door to us! She is obviously upset and she starts yelling to get our attention. Now, not only am i not getting laid tonight but i might also have to slap this bitch right upside her head wwf style. she asks if the service was bad and i told her my explanation which was luckily all that happened.

Now i am in salvage mode for the night. I decide to take her to our favorite bar that had 1/2 price wine. for all of you guys that dont have a girl, giving her wine is like a free pass into her pants. we hang out there with some friends and my roomate for a couple of hours and then head back to my place.

as we take my elevator up to my apartment my roomate decides to stop the elevator because he has to piss. he gets out on the second floor and pees in the corner. as he is doing this my girlfriend looks at me and goes "we need to use a condom tonight"

i want to jump in the air and celebrate but decide against it for the fear of not getting laid. the condom thing sucks, but it's better than nothing, right?

wrong.

we both drank too much, so the sex was good but neither of us got off which in my books always goes as a failure. i tried again this morning but it is not happening anytime soon.

so now i am going to play poker for a couple of hours to try and get rid of this hangover and try not to think about the failure of last night.

BEAT:lousy service from a bar, almost had to slap a waitress in her fat head.

BRAG: only paid three cents on a fifty dollar tab

BRAG: got laid after a lousy start of the night

VARIANCE: had to use a condom...didnt get off.

i am going to have to leave it at this because she is now waking up.

if things go well ill leave a morning trip report...