lol going blind at 22

[saucyspade19]

I've read a lot of tl;dr stories on here that were insightful/enjoyable/put my life in perspective, and now I will weave my current life situation to make you feel better about your own. hopefully this will deliver in some way.

So a couple years ago, my eye doc was having a lot of trouble fitting me for glasses. My vision sucked and he played with the glasses fitting thing saying "better or worse" and I would reply "blurry" a bunch of times in a row. After a few minutes of this, he left the room, and returned with bad news. He said I had a 1 in 100000 (lol I run bad) degenerative (lol degen) genetic condition called kerataconus.

The condition basically makes my corneas (part of eye in front of your iris and lens) droop down and thin out. A standard cornea is 550-600 nanometers thick, and right now mine are about 250-200nm. It makes bright light very painful, so I wear my x-metals pretty much until it's totally dark outside if I go out, and I sit in the dark in my room inside.

In the first year, I just had to wear hard contacts, which suck ass and hurt like hell, but with them in I could see fine. However, my condition progressed exponentially to the point where I was declared legally blind without them. Scary as this is, I squinted my way through my driver's eye test when I got my license renewed when I turned 21, so I can legally drive without contacts, although I'd likely kill someone.

My vision got worse and worse through college, and senior year I got these hybrid contacts that are soft on the outside and hard on the inside, so they suction down on my eye to keep them from popping off, and give me basically perfect vision. However, they are incredibly painful, and I usually can't wear them two days in a row. Due to this, graduating college turned into a freaking horrible challenge, where every day was hit or miss if I was going to be able to see. I got special help from the school for more time on tests and stuff, but I never used it, and rarely told my teachers I had a problem. I am not good at asking for help from people, because I can usually take care of my own [censored]. In retrospect, I wish I would have used the system a little more and done better, but nothin I can do about that now.

My left eye is now pretty much super blurry and I don't see much out of it at all. The right eye is kinda bad too, but if I close my left eye and squint with my right eye, I can see alright. This is how I get by day to day when I can't put my contacts in because the surface of my eyes are sore from wearing them the day before. When I play poker, I put my face about 6 inches from the screen and squint to see what I'm doin. I can't do more than 3 tables when I don't have my contacts in, but my roll is short right now anyways so not a big deal. At the casino, which I rarely go to, I need to be in the jesus seat or jesus seat +1/-1 to be able to see the flop.

So 3 weeks ago I graduated college (brag), and now I have a fun situation to deal with. While everyone else goes on and gets their job and own place, I move back in with my [censored] parents and get my new corneas. It is a cool 25k per eye, they do one at a time, and it takes 6 months to 1 year to fully recover. My parents insurance covers me until I'm 25, but there are a bunch of stipulations such as, I can't have a full time job, and I have to live with them.

So last week we consulted with this world renown super-surgeon who does a half-graft that leaves some of my cornea intact, which results in a lower chance of rejection and a quicker recovery time, and we settled on him. We are picking a date, and I'll probably have it done in the next month or two.

After the surgery, I'll have like 20 stitches in my eye, and I can't lift anything more than 20lbs for 6 months or I'll blow out the stitches. Also, that means no sex, which makes my gf sad, and makes me suicidal. No working out for a year, no sports. It is going to be [censored] hell, and the doc made sure to stress to me that my life will never be the same. [censored] awesome you dick, thanks for saying that in no uncertain terms.

Since I will have one good eye, and I can't work, I am going to do my best to be a de-facto pro while I recover. Much time will be spent ass planted in front of the plasma, playin poker on the lappy and thinking about how I wish I was normal.

I am not gonna end this with any stupid BS about "be happy for what you have" and "don't take your life for granted."
As a poker player, I think I above anyone else should know that there are some things you can't control. The important factor is how one reacts to, learns, and grows from each experience that makes them a better person.

So there you have it. I'm open to any advice or good ideas of what to do with my life at the current time, and any questions for a 22yr old blind person. hit me up. Oh, and if anyone wants to mentor a gambooler with potential and nothing but time on his hands, pm me plz. gg bbv.