LC: At Peace with my Downswing (Longish)

[_Towelie_]

I’m writing this because I’m currently going through an annoying time and I hope this post will help others in STTF who are also struggling. I suppose this may actually belong in Psych or some other forum, but since I’m a SNG grinder and have benefited most from STTF, posting it here just feels right.

In the grand scheme of things I have limited experience as a poker player, and even less as a fulltime SNG grinder. However I have been playing STTs for a few years and grinding them fulltime since March of this year with decent results. Towards the end of July I was looking ahead into August with a bit of hesitation. I made a lot of personal commitments for August and the first half of September. My playing time would be severely reduced, but I knew that I’d be happy if I could maintain even a modest win rate at a lower volume.

My first 3 days of August were hell. These were 3 of the few days that I had to completely dedicate to poker, and at the end of day 3 I was down 45 BIs after 204 games. At the end of each day I laughed maniacally as I reviewed hand after hand of me getting screwed over in +$ev situations. I originally wanted to play at least 100 games each of these three days but I opted to cut the sessions short in order to avoid total monkey-tilt spewage.

This led into the weekend, which was a long weekend in my particular corner of Canada. So from Friday –Monday I got as shitfaced as possible with the intention of coming back strong and focused for Tuesday-Thursday. Well here we are at the end of Wednesday and I’m now down 58 buy ins after 384 games this month. I probably have every right to be [censored] bricks at this point but oddly enough I’m as calm and confident as ever. When I reviewed my hands tonight I didn’t laugh maniacally at all the ludicrous beats/lost flips. I just felt good about my play.

So I have one more day of fulltime grinding ahead of me before I take off to Montreal for the weekend. And at this point I’m not at all concerned about how the day will end. August has taught me a lot about variance and short-term losing. I’m running terrible now, but feeling as good as ever about my game. My incredibly nitty 200 BI bankroll doesn’t seem so incredibly nitty now, and I look forward to rebuilding it one BI at a time.