Claw Crab Meat... WTF?

[Thremp]

So today Neteller pays out... I'm still busted of course since I don't actually have the money. I head to Fresh Market to get some food and oversea the fresh seafood section. I have purchased seafood from here a few times and upon first inspection there are like 15 cans of oysters and one that says "Crab Claws" plus other words near it. This was around 100 minutes ago. Now, I get home... I gear myself up for this and promptly decide whether to batter and fry them... Or just sauté them... As either way... I'm going to enjoy their delectable goodness very shortly. I finally settle out that I'm going to actually do half of them in each method. So I can compare and contrast. I head to the kitchen and open the box. Whoa is me. First I am somewhat befuddled by the fact there are actually no claws. Second my confusion turns into concern: Have my claws been stolen by an insidious claw thief? Next my concern turns to rage as I realize that I can't fry or sauté crab claws since my claws have been grimstarred.

After further regrouping and wondering WTF I'm going to so with this stuff. I realized I can make crab cakes. But WTF am I suppose to do with 3+ pounds of crab cakes?

Cliff Notes:
Was going to eat:


Now have to eat: